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- A taxi company is threatened when an all-female firm sets itself up in business and starts to steal their customers.
- Farcical misadventures by guests in an English holiday centre.
- The sinister Dr Watt has an evil scheme going. He's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores.
- Agent Simpkins and trainees chase STENCH (the Society for the Total Extinction of Non-Conforming Humans) for a stolen chemical formula, using gadgets and disguises to defeat villains The Fat Man, Dr Milchman, and Dr Crow.
- Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khyber Pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe but the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas.
- Two Britons, Hengist and Horsa, are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Caesar.
- A group of tourists arrive at a half-finished hotel in Spain where the oddly identical staff and bad weather threaten the building's stability.
- Professors Vooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the film ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.
- An idiosyncratic group of patients wreak havoc in the men's surgical ward of Haven Hospital. They decide to take their revenge on the frosty Matron, and there is even a spot of DIY surgery!
- A gang of thieves plans to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan.
- History is only slightly rewritten: instead of experienced sailors, there are only convicts whose last and only meeting with H2O was their prison diet of bread and water. And Columbus doesn't have his own map.
- A group of patients resides in a sanatorium and aspire to walk twice round the daffodils, which they can do when they are better.
- Sergeant Grimshawe wants to retire in the flush of success by winning the Star Squad prize with his very last platoon of newly called-up National Servicemen. But what a motley bunch they turn out to be.
- The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snogging on-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called "The Wit to Woo". The strange collection of hopefuls leads to some outlandish matches, and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble.
- Lady Evelyn Bagley mounts an expedition to find her long-lost baby. Bill Boosey is the fearless hunter and guide. Prof. Tinkle is searching for the rare Oozalum bird. Everything is going swimmingly until a gorilla enters the camp.
- Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
- The time of the French Revolution, and Citizen Robespierre is beheading the French aristocracy. When word gets to England, two noblemen, Sir Rodney Effing and Lord Darcy take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes "The Black Fingernail", scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.
- Neighborhood tensions arise when rambunctious Baines family moves next door to reclusive Abbots, clashing over home distillery and unruly teens while matriarch tries mediating the feud.
- A bogus legionnaire proves his mettle during an Arab attack.
- With a flu epidemic running rife, three new bumbling recruits are assigned to Inspector Mills police station. They manage to totally wreck the operations of the police force and let plenty of criminals get away.
- Pupils run amok at Maudlin Street School in an attempt to hang on to their headmaster. He has applied for a new job, but the students like him and don't want to lose him.
- Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a "sanitary engineer" (plumber) by the name of Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal! Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids - revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise...
- After having just wed Marie of Normandy, Henry VIII's eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately, she's always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her - in his usual manner, Henry must find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France.
- This is the tale of Albert Poop-Decker, a newly commissioned Midshipman (although he took 8 1/2 years to qualify). He joins the frigate Venus, and adventures through Spanish waters, mutinee and Pirates taking his Captain, his sweet-heart and his best-friend with him! With mistaken identities and shipwrecks awash, it's a surprise any of them live to tell the tale!
- The Helping Hands agency employs some very strange people to perform some very strange jobs. Even the simplest of tasks get bungled by the incompetent but lovable staff.
- An inept gang of bank robbers led by George The Brain is caught and sentenced to 15 years hard labour each. When they are released from prison they start out to collect the money they had stolen, which George had hidden in a hollow tree during the chase in which they were caught. The only trouble is that the tree was in the middle of a lonely lane when they were imprisoned; now, 15 years later, it's in the backyard of a police station.
- After a scientific experiment goes horribly wrong during a demonstration, a scientist finds himself trapped in an alternative reality that bears some similarities to our own, but also has some striking differences. In this other reality, World War II had never occurred, mankind had not yet travelled into space, and Mt. Everest had not yet been conquered, just to name a few things. Also in this other reality, he is no longer a scientist, but rather a well-known author. He also finds that he is married to a beautiful woman with whom he instantly falls in love, but for whom his alternate self never cared. He has some difficulty convincing anyone that he is not actually who they think he is. With the help of a physics professor who believes his story, he finally manages to convince his "wife" that he is not the man she knew before. After a personal tragedy in this alternative world, he finds himself back in his own world and desperately trying to locate the woman with whom he fell in love in the other world. Little does she know, however, that her life depends on him finding her.
- During a steam engine race, an American airline firm plans to buy a new British passenger plane, but the deal hits trouble when the designer and the daughter of the Airline owner take an instant dislike to each other after a crash.
- A young, married couple inherit an estate and decide to turn it into a summer camp for children.
- A bored housewife has an affair with her mother's lodger. When he dumps her, she attempts suicide, which brings everyone to their senses.
- Quietly competent young Joanna moves with her scatterbrained mother to a country village to take up her first job as District Nurse. She soon overcomes the suspicion of her patients used to someone rather older, while becoming romantically involved with a local farmer--at least until he tries to evict a newly-arrived expectant couple who park their caravan on his land.
- A group of petless children secretly build a zoo behind an old manor, unaware it hides jewel thieves. The children find the crooks, then join forces with their animals to defeat them.
- A young policeman and a small-time crook are both involved with the same girl.
- In order to cut costs and conduct practice sessions, a group of students studying at an elite music school decide to stay together. Soon, one of them finds himself in trouble.
- When the details of a secret torpedo are destroyed by an incompetent seaman, the crew of the ship rally round, when the Admiral needs the plans to show to a visiting scientist.