A sarcastic guide to films that let you have Hipster "Cred"
We have all been there, the conversation with the cooler than thou, ultra-opinionated, carefully disheveled, "I am not a critic, I just love film" hipster. Many a time, one finds one's self surrounded by unknown titles and films that you have to "get," to actually get. Well, fear this frumpy in-crowd no longer. What follows is a selection of films that provides both viewing enjoyment (with one exception) and instant movie "cred." In an attempt to elucidate the key points of these films, some example phrases are given. Please enjoy and let the socio-cultural learning begin. A final note, I am not a critic, I just love film.
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- DirectorEli CraigStarsTyler LabineAlan TudykKatrina BowdenAffable hillbillies Tucker and Dale are on vacation at their dilapidated mountain cabin when they are mistaken for murderers by a group of preppy college students.This is a lovingly crafted and well thought out horror comedy. The movie mixes smart dialog with gore and other horror staples. The fact that a "firefly," cast member is a lead also helps. This film allows for:
"Wow, this is truly a genre bender. The juxtaposition of killers and victims blithely turns the "cabin in the woods" film on its head. Brilliant!" - DirectorBanksyStarsBanksyMr. BrainwashSpace InvaderFollowing the style of some of the world's most prolific street artists, an amateur filmmaker makes a foray into the art world."Exit," is a documentary done by the world famous street artist Banksy. This is a film that requires some caution as there is debate about whether the entire film is an elaborate prank. Many will say that acknowledging the film as a prank is necessary to "get" it. While this position is defensible, in the end it really adds nothing to the film. This film lends itself to:
"All the prank rumors aside, this film is a scathing commentary about the shallowness of western aesthetic taste. I mean, sure, everyone should have an opinion, but this film dissects the merit of those opinions with spot on sarcasm. A truly wonderful and valuable experience, if you ask me." - DirectorAndré ØvredalStarsOtto JespersenRobert StoltenbergKnut NærumA group of students investigates a series of mysterious bear killings, but learns that there are much more dangerous things going on. They start to follow a mysterious hunter, learning that he is actually a troll hunter.This is a mockumentary about hunting, you guessed it, trolls. The allure of this film is that it is technically well put together and maintains an absolutely absurd story without flinching. A possible line is:
"'Troll Hunter,' wow, what a tongue in cheek send up. Basically, this took every plus from 'Blair witch,' and eliminated all of its faults. It's, like, a perfection of the genre, you know? The thematic approach is not new but the execution is ridiculous in its quality. Yu gotta check it out." - DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsKurt RussellKim CattrallDennis DunA rough-and-tumble trucker and his side kick face off with an ancient sorcerer in a supernatural battle beneath Chinatown.This film does a few things for you. First, it lets people know that you know John Carpenter. Second, it establishes that you are capable of admiring somewhat stupid but very funny dialog. Third, it hints that you play drinking games while watching movies. "Big Trouble," is a goofy action comedy that enjoys a very large cult following. The film is well worth your time and brings immediate "cred." Try this line out:
"What character would you like to have a beer with, you know, just shoot the crap with? For me, its gotta be jack Burton. Cutt a few bottles in half, discuss the wings of liberty (pause for a chuckle)." - DirectorSatoshi KonStarsMegumi HayashibaraTôru EmoriKatsunosuke HoriWhen a machine that allows therapists to enter their patients' dreams is stolen, all hell breaks loose. Only a young female therapist, Paprika, can stop it.By this day and age, everyone has seen some anime. This title holds the distinction of being slightly obscure and an influence for "Inception." The hipster as a cultural entity loves provenance. If you know where someone took an idea from then you clearly know who is the most original. The logic of that last bit may be flawed but it is a first principle among hipsters. This film allows for something like:
"I don't really understand why "Inception," has a reputation for being difficult to understand. I mean, all you have to do is pay attention, right? A flic that that really blurs the lines of reality and dream is "Paprika." Besides being blatantly copied by Nolan, it really does blend beautiful surreal visuals with a disorienting commentary on the phenomena we call life. Awesome head trip!" - DirectorNimród AntalStarsSándor CsányiEszter BallaZoltán MucsiA tale about a strange young man, Bulcsú, the fellow inspectors on his team, all without exception likable characters, a rival ticket inspection team and racing along the tracks - and a tale about love.First, this is an exciting thriller. Second, it hails from Eastern Europe. That's right, you get to have fun and show an international interest all in the same go. A key point here is the mood the film sets up. There is a sense that one is viewing a very real situation through the eyes of another. More clearly, the audience is not a voyeur of reality, the audience is treated to a view of reality as understood by one of the main characters. Honestly, it is a little bit unsettling. Try this ditty out:
"'Kontroll,' yeah, it kinda reminds me of 'fight club,' with its oppresive setting and obtusely self-referential style. I guess what really got me is the sense of epiphany within such an absurd and morally ambiguous world. It stuck with me for days." - DirectorFabián BielinskyStarsRicardo DarínGastón PaulsGraciela TenenbaumTwo con artists try to swindle a stamp collector by selling him a sheet of counterfeit rare stamps (the "nine queens").Opps! you did it again, you went foreign. This time the film is Argentinian. An added bonus is that it was remade in America. This is a wonderful chance to show off provenance. The film is a cunning and extremely well thought out heist story. This lends itself to mockery of Hollywood formulaic film. A possible use:
"I am not against formula per se, I just want something that really excels, you know? Take 'Nine Queens,' it reinvigorates the heist and double-cross genre. Unlike a stylized 'Ocean's,' film, this flic takes all of the conventions and presents them with the skill of a honed professional. Use formula but use it well, do kinda get it?" - DirectorJohn HillcoatStarsRay WinstoneGuy PearceEmily WatsonA lawman apprehends a notorious outlaw and gives him nine days to kill his older brother, or else they'll execute his younger brother.Western films are a tough genre in that far fewer are made nowadays. Getting the right mix of obscurity and actual quality is key here. The answer is a dark film written by Nick Cave. Cave provides instant cred. The proposition communicates that you gel with oppressive and claustrophobic tragedy. A line might be:
"Damn! 'The Proposition,' is a wicked study. I mean, the arid landscape, the wretchedness of the characters, the sheer oppression. . . it just oozes (draw and exhale a cigarette, if possible) hopelessness. The film is just gutting." - DirectorDavid O. RussellStarsGeorge ClooneyMark WahlbergIce CubeIn the aftermath of the Persian Gulf War, four soldiers set out to steal gold that was stolen from Kuwait, but they discover people who desperately need their help.This film might be a risk. Other war films (The Thin Red Line) are far better done. "Three Kings," is great because of the dream like qualities it conveys. Rarely can a film encapsulate the surreal horrors of a military and political conflict. Here is a potential line:
"I can't say I "get" war. The whole idea of killing over misguided ideas is, well, idiotic. I mean, "Three Kings,' nails the whole idea that war is not some abstraction, it is real people, flawed people, just trying to find some meaning. It's like the surrealists images of the film coincide with what I imagine war to be like, you know. I guess the song is right, "War, what is it good for?" (pause a moment as if for a chuckle, and then sigh.) - DirectorNacho VigalondoStarsKarra ElejaldeCandela FernándezBárbara GoenagaA man accidentally gets into a time machine and travels back in time nearly an hour. Finding himself will be the first of a series of disasters of unforeseeable consequences.I am counting this as a drama and not sci-fi. The reason is that the film while clearly fantastical is more of a morals tale. Instant cred is gained by puzzling out the plot and the fact that the film is Spanish. Try this type of line out:
"'Time Crimes,' is just so Spanish. The plot, wow, just when you think you have got it pegged, the final "loop" boggles the mind. It's like, how do I put this, kinda like Don Quixote. That wonderful Spanish sense of misguided good intentions within a scenario that requires a degree of tragedy. You gotta see it to get it." - DirectorGareth CarrivickStarsChris O'DowdMarc WoottonDean Lennox KellyWhile drinking at their local pub, three social outcasts attempt to navigate a time-travel conundrum.Here is our sci-fi selection. This has a lot going for it as a film in general. The script and story are tight and devilishly clever. In addition, this film revels in the intricacies of geek-ness. Here is a line:
" F.A.Q. about Time Travel really just hit a soft spot in me. Finally a flic that has the insight to use time travel as an actual device to a story and not just some banal sci-fi context. It, like, lets you get your geek on while exercising some non-linear mental aerobics. Totally worth it." - DirectorCorey YuenStarsJaime PresslyDevon AokiSarah CarterThe world's best fighters are invited to DOA, an invitational martial arts contest. There, four female rival fighters will have to work together to uncover the secret that the organizer of the tournament is trying to hide.Surprised? This is not really a suggestion of a particular film but rather a type. This is the guilty pleasure selection. The goal here is to show that you have a nugget of humanity behind that oh-so-justified pretension. There are a few rules here. The film must be so bad that it becomes an unintentional joke and it must be well known enough to show that one does actually interact with the world of the common person. "DOA," is carefully chosen for a few reasons. First, the film is outright awful. There is no defending this piece of garbage. In addition, it will actually make you laugh at its inadequacy. Two, this is a fighting video game adaption. That very fact allows you to communicate that you are open to "vegging," out and having a drug hazed battle royale. Third, the film has a thinly disguised reference to Pabst Blue Ribbon, the elixir of life to the hipster. On a side note, if speaking to an aging hipster, i.e. over thirty years old, be sure to mention the video game "Soul Blade," to gain bonus points. Use a line akin to this:
"My guilty pleasure? It has gotta be 'DOA.' It is clearly the result of a bunch of execs blending infantile creativity with a ruthless desire for profit. I mean, coherency is just not a factor in this ridiculous abortion. Just thinking about it makes me wanna smoke up." - DirectorTommy WirkolaStarsJeppe Beck LaursenCharlotte FrognerJenny SkavlanA ski vacation turns horrific for a group of medical students, as they find themselves confronted by an unimaginable menace: Nazi zombies.The zombie film is back, if it ever left. A key to picking a zombie film is finding a mix between absurdity, gore, and "uniqueness." This film has it all. Foreign? Yes. Full of gruesome awfulness? Yup. Nazi treasure gaurding zombies cavorting in snow? You betcha. The film is cheesy fun with enough of a story to make it engrossing. A line might go:
"That whole zombies representing conspicuous consumption line is done. I mean, take 'Dead Snow,' it's f'n hilarious and it's got nazis. And dude, don't say zombie nazis aren't reason enough. Using one of history's most abhorrent evils in the role of the bad guy you root for is deliciously profane. Don't get me wrong, I totally hate those racist a-holes (this is a necessary caveat amongst the hipster), but this film totally revitalized the genre for me." - DirectorGoran DukicStarsPatrick FugitShea WhighamTom WaitsA film set in a strange afterlife way station that has been reserved for people who have committed suicide.The comedy is a tough one. For the elusive hipster, the choice should ideally have a streak of melancholy or outright sadness to complement the humor. This film relies on a morose framework on which it hangs its humor. The film is actually uplifting and finds its laughs through quirky and absurd humor. Here is a trite line:
"I just love 'Wristcutters.' I mean all the quirky tid-bits aside, the sly critique of popular religion as a bureaucratic red-tape filled purgatory is more theologically sound than most are willing to admit. Scathing really, when you think about it." - DirectorAkira KurosawaStarsToshirô MifuneEijirô TônoTatsuya NakadaiA crafty ronin comes to a town divided by two criminal gangs and decides to play them against each other to free the town.This is just one example from a greater oeuvre. That's right kiddo, you need a favorite director. The most important rule here is that the director must either be "independent" (not associated with any Hollywood studio), or foreign. Kurosawa is a wonderful choice for a couple reasons. One, he makes outstanding films. Two, Kurosawa tells accessible stories in elegant and subtle ways. Three, American film has clearly been influenced by Kurosawa's stories and techniques (remember, provenance is key). Here is a possible line:
"Sure, the "man with no name," is a staple, practically a cliche. But you have to go back to the source to "get" it and have the proper perspective. 'Yojimbo,' is the start of the whole thing. Not only that it totally does it better than anything coming out of mainstream formulaic crap. The story, the editing, the sheer brutality of the violence is cinematic genus. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor. Trust me."