The Worst Remakes
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- DirectorNeil LaButeStarsNicolas CageEllen BurstynLeelee SobieskiA sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there's a larger mystery to solve among the island's secretive, neo-pagan community.
- DirectorJohn GuillerminStarsJeff BridgesCharles GrodinJessica LangeA petroleum exploration expedition comes to an isolated island and encounters a colossal giant gorilla.
- DirectorGus Van SantStarsVince VaughnAnne HecheJulianne MooreA young female embezzler arrives at the Bates Motel, which has terrible secrets of its own.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsScout Taylor-ComptonMalcolm McDowellTyler ManeAfter being committed for 15 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution and immediately returns to Haddonfield to find his baby sister, Laurie.The kill count is up, but that doesn't make it near as good as the original.
- DirectorScott DerricksonStarsKeanu ReevesJennifer ConnellyKathy BatesA remake of the 1951 classic science fiction film about an alien visitor and his giant robot counterpart who visit Earth.
- DirectorTony ScottStarsDenzel WashingtonJohn TravoltaLuis GuzmánArmed men hijack a New York City subway train, holding the passengers hostage in return for a ransom, and turning an ordinary day's work for dispatcher Walter Garber into a face-off with the mastermind behind the crime.They added more cursing and violence but that didn't make it better than the original.
- DirectorFrank OzStarsNicole KidmanBette MidlerMatthew BroderickThe secret to a Stepford wife lies behind the doors of the Men's Association.
- DirectorPeter SegalStarsAdam SandlerBurt ReynoldsChris RockPrison inmates form a football team to challenge the prison guards.
- DirectorShawn LevyStarsSteve MartinKevin KlineJean RenoBumbling Inspector Clouseau must solve the murder of a famous soccer coach and find out who stole the infamous Pink Panther diamond.White hair and a brown mustache don't go together.
- DirectorBobby FarrellyPeter FarrellyStarsBen StillerMichelle MonaghanMalin AkermanA newly wed man who believes he's just gotten hitched to the perfect woman encounters another lady on his honeymoon.
- DirectorJohn FrankenheimerRichard StanleyStarsDavid ThewlisMarlon BrandoVal KilmerAfter being rescued and brought to an island, a man discovers that its inhabitants are experimental animals being turned into strange-looking humans, all of it the work of a visionary doctor.
- DirectorJohn McTiernanStarsChris KleinJean RenoLL Cool JThe big thing in 2005 is a violent sport which can have some pretty serious consequences... like dying.
- DirectorOliver HirschbiegelStarsNicole KidmanDaniel CraigJeremy NorthamAs a Washington, D.C. psychiatrist unearths the origin of an alien epidemic, she also discovers her son might be the only way it can be stopped.
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsMatthew BroderickJean RenoMaria PitilloFrench nuclear tests irradiate an iguana into a giant monster that heads off to New York City. The American military must chase the monster across the city to stop it before it reproduces.
- DirectorKevin Rodney SullivanStarsAshton KutcherBernie MacZoe SaldanaA young woman, Theresa, brings her boyfriend, Simon, home to meet her parents and surprise them with the news of their engagement. Another surprise: Simon is white.
- DirectorJohn CarpenterStarsChristopher ReeveKirstie AlleyLinda KozlowskiA small town's women give birth to unfriendly alien children posing as humans.
- DirectorSam WeismanStarsSteve MartinGoldie HawnJohn CleeseThe remake of the 1970 Neil Simon comedy follows the adventures of married couple Henry and Nancy Clark as they are vexed by misfortune while in New York City for a job interview.
- DirectorTim StoryStarsQueen LatifahJimmy FallonGisele BündchenA mouthy and feisty taxicab driver has hot tips for a green and inept cop set on solving a string of New York City bank robberies committed by a quartet of female Brazilian bank robbers.
- DirectorTim BurtonStarsMark WahlbergHelena Bonham CarterTim RothIn 2029, an Air Force astronaut crash-lands on a mysterious planet where evolved, talking apes dominate a race of primitive humans.
- DirectorTakashi ShimizuStarsSarah Michelle GellarJason BehrClea DuVallAn American nurse living and working in Tokyo is exposed to a mysterious supernatural curse, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim.
- DirectorNelson McCormickStarsBrittany SnowScott PorterJessica StroupDonna's senior prom is supposed to be the best night of her life, though a sadistic killer from her past has different plans for her and her friends.
- DirectorDave MeyersStarsSean BeanSophia BushZachary KnightonA couple from college get caught in a dangerous game of cat and mouse with a psychopathic hitchhiker and the police after witnessing a murder and being framed.
- DirectorRupert WainwrightStarsTom WellingMaggie GraceSelma BlairA thick mist full of vengeful spirits haunts a prosperous island town off the coast of Oregon, as its inhabitants try to learn their town's dark secret in order to stop it.
- DirectorWilliam MaloneStarsGeoffrey RushFamke JanssenTaye DiggsAn amusement park mogul offers a group of diverse people $1,000,000 to spend the night in a haunted house with a horrifying past.
- DirectorJan de BontStarsLiam NeesonCatherine Zeta-JonesOwen WilsonDr Marrow enlists Theo, Luke and Nell for a study of sleep disorders at the Hill House. As soon as the terrifying truth about the mansion is revealed, everyone is found fighting for their lives.Only good if you always wanted to see Owen Wilson's head chopped off.
- DirectorWolfgang PetersenStarsRichard DreyfussKurt RussellEmmy RossumOn New Year's Eve, the luxury ocean liner Poseidon capsizes after being swamped by a rogue wave. The survivors are left to fight for their lives as they attempt to escape the sinking ship.
- DirectorSteven BrillStarsAdam SandlerWinona RyderJohn TurturroA sweet-natured, small-town guy inherits a controlling stake in a media conglomerate and begins to do business his way.
- DirectorJonathan DemmeStarsMark WahlbergThandiwe NewtonTim RobbinsA woman returns from holiday to find her husband has been murdered, and several groups of people are pressuring her to unravel the mystery of his true identity and activities during his final days.
- DirectorMichael Caton-JonesStarsBruce WillisRichard GereSidney PoitierAn imprisoned I.R.A. fighter is freed to help stop a brutal, seemingly "faceless" assassin from completing his next job.If your dream is to see Jack Black shot to pieces, then you'll enjoy this movie.
- DirectorStephen KayStarsSylvester StalloneRachael Leigh CookMiranda RichardsonA Las Vegas mob enforcer travels back to his hometown to investigate his brother's mysterious death.
- DirectorHarold RamisStarsBrendan FraserElizabeth HurleyFrances O'ConnorHopeless dweeb Elliot Richards is granted seven wishes by the Devil to snare Allison, the girl of his dreams, in exchange for his soul.
- DirectorPhil TraillStarsSandra BullockBradley CooperThomas Haden ChurchConvinced that a CCN cameraman is her true love, an eccentric crossword puzzler trails him as he travels all over the country, hoping to convince him that they belong together.
- DirectorRob GreenbergStarsEugenio DerbezAnna FarisEva LongoriaAfter a spoiled, wealthy yacht owner is thrown overboard and loses his memory, a mistreated employee convinces him that he is her working-class husband.
- DirectorAlex KurtzmanStarsTom CruiseSofia BoutellaAnnabelle WallisAn ancient Egyptian princess is awakened from her crypt beneath the desert, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia and terrors that defy human comprehension.
- DirectorGil KenanStarsSam RockwellRosemarie DeWittKennedi ClementsA family whose suburban home is haunted by evil forces must come together to rescue their youngest daughter after the apparitions take her captive.