Movies For a Lazy Saturday Afternoon
So you two have been dating for a couple weeks and she or he has slept over. After brunch and a joint, there is an awkward silence. It is time to host your own movie show. Solidify* the relationship by sharing one of these babies:
This is MY biggest and fastest expanding (inside joke) list. Thanks for looking! Leave suggested flicks in the comments. Help jog my memory.
BTW One of the wannabes on the Hall of Shame list cried and it is now gone. Google still has it cached. I had left comments open so anyone on the list could say their piece and one guy did. Oddly, I don't think it was him that cried to the admins. Oh, well. Maybe soon...
*or end it. If they no like these, find a better partner. Sex ain't everything, especially after 50. A fun taste in movies together is a pleasure still fun in a nursing home.
This is MY biggest and fastest expanding (inside joke) list. Thanks for looking! Leave suggested flicks in the comments. Help jog my memory.
BTW One of the wannabes on the Hall of Shame list cried and it is now gone. Google still has it cached. I had left comments open so anyone on the list could say their piece and one guy did. Oddly, I don't think it was him that cried to the admins. Oh, well. Maybe soon...
*or end it. If they no like these, find a better partner. Sex ain't everything, especially after 50. A fun taste in movies together is a pleasure still fun in a nursing home.
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- DirectorKevin ConnorStarsDoug McClureJohn McEnerySusan PenhaligonDuring World War I, a German U-boat sinks a British ship and takes the survivors on board. After it takes a wrong turn, the submarine takes them to the unknown land of Caprona, where they find dinosaurs and neanderthals.Read this slowly:
Doug McClure, U-boats, dinosaurs.
Yes, that is correct.
Doug McClure, U-boats, dinosaurs.
Throw in a biplane and you have a great Saturday afternoon. - DirectorKevin ConnorStarsPatrick WayneDoug McClureSarah DouglasIn 1919, a British expedition in the Antarctica region is searching for a lost American explorer and finds a hidden prehistoric world instead.As Steve Miller crooned "Go on, take the money and run..." 1977 PG rating means all those cave breasts are hidden in furs.
- DirectorKevin ConnorStarsDoug McClurePeter CushingCaroline MunroA Victorian era scientist and his assistant take a test run in their Iron Mole drilling machine and end up in a strange underground labyrinth ruled by a species of giant telepathic bird and full of prehistoric monsters and cavemen.No one plays a foppish Victorian age scientist as good as Pete Cushing. If that weren't enough, you can never get too much Doug McClure. This is up with his "Time Forgot" flicks. Hmmm, there may be an order of films shake up soon.
- DirectorRoger CormanStarsVincent PriceMark DamonMyrna FaheyUpon entering his fiancée's family mansion, a man discovers a savage family curse and fears that his future brother-in-law has entombed his bride-to-be prematurely.Vinnie working for Roger. 'nuff said.
For now. - DirectorBoris SagalStarsCharlton HestonAnthony ZerbeRosalind CashDr Robert Neville has developed an experimental vaccine which makes him the only immune survivor of a biological catastrophe. A gang of homicidal mutants blame science for their condition and attempt to kill him.The last girl on the Earth is a sepia love goddess* with jive talk that only a white or Jewish script writer could come up with. I would watch Zerbe in Kiss regalia anytime over those bad cartoons in the remake.
*Get the theatrical version. There are a couple peeks at her great body - DirectorJim ClarkStarsVincent PricePeter CushingRobert QuarryA horror movie star returns to his famous role after years in a mental institution. But the character seems to be committing murders independent of his will.A double bill with "Theatre of Blood"? OH, bliss! Gorgeousness and gorgeousity! Gravity all nonsense now....
- DirectorBert I. GordonStarsMarjoe GortnerPamela FranklinRalph MeekerA group of friends travel to a remote Canadian island to hunt, only to be attacked by giant killer animals which have populated the place.Marjoe as a pro footballer fighting a giant rooster? Count me in!
- DirectorGordon HesslerStarsPeter CrissAce FrehleyGene SimmonsKISS, a rock band made up of superheroes, battles an evil inventor who has plans for destruction at a California amusement park."Classy title, no?" the one & only Gene Simmons
Watch Ace's "double". Simply amazing. "Guys," (meaning KISS) "your music and personalities got me through a poverty-stricken childhood, an honorable stint as an infantryman, college, parenthood, kicking heroin, and a marriage. I miss my kids so bad it makes me field of vision grey at the edges when I think of them. They LOVED this flick since infancy, from the 22 year old to the 11 year old, they watched it as kids soooooo many times :-) that being said, the Monday after this aired, I got ribbed at school and do until this day." - DirectorDon TaylorStarsBurt LancasterMichael YorkNigel DavenportA shipwrecked survivor discovers a remote island owned by a crazed scientist who is carrying out sinister experiments on the island's inhabitants.What an odd age 13 was for me. Playing Star Trek during the day, smoking weed and going to see flicks like this at night. Once you get past Burt Lancaster being, well, Burt, the movie is OK. York is his usual competent self, believable no matter what the scenery is, and as British as 11 o'clock tea. For an Arkoff production, you get to see the manimals often and they are not too shabby. The ending fight sequences are well worth the wait. I saw it theatrically but remember it being the ABC movie of the week not long after. Back then, that was a sure sign a movie tanked. Way back then, the longer a movie took until it was on TV was a rough indicator of its success. The longer it took reflected how well the box office take was
- DirectorDenis SandersStarsWilliam SmithAnitra FordVictoria VetriA powerful cosmic force is turning Earth women into queen bees who kill men by wearing them out sexually.Like most on this list, must "bee" seen to be "bee"-lieved. As laughable as most of it is, there is an attack by some bar ruffians that I fast forward through. There is also some steamy parts, but far less than the director planned. The hard guy lead's real life tough guy credentials are a bit on the shaky side. Veterans, go read his bio. Exactly. Just what I thought.
- DirectorHerk HarveyStarsCandace HilligossFrances FeistSidney BergerAfter a traumatic accident, a woman becomes drawn to a mysterious abandoned carnival.One of the most under-rated flicks you will ever see. Cheap but well done. IT is also the name of the last album KISS put out with their BEST line-up, Gene, Paul, Bruce, and Eric.
- DirectorJack HillStarsLon Chaney Jr.Carol OhmartQuinn K. RedekerA caretaker devotes himself to three demented siblings after their father's death.Lon Chaney Jr sings! Spider Baby is a hot little number. She is also a young and smoking in some Dragnet 1967 episodes.
- DirectorArthur HiltonStarsSonny TuftsVictor JoryMarie WindsorAstronauts travel to the moon where they discover it is inhabited by attractive young women in black tights.Dances but no bum dancing, as far as I can tell. Third base coach was waving this one guy in but he blew it.
- DirectorSteve MimsStarsWebb WilderRoger BrinegarJimmy DanielsI have only seen this once on cable's USAnetwork. I am still haunted.
- DirectorJack SmightStarsJan-Michael VincentGeorge PeppardDominique SandaIn a post-apocalyptic world, a group of survivors travel and find other settlements in huge custom designed all terrain vehicles.George Peppard AND Jan-Michel Vincent in a post-Apocalypse cheapie? Sign me up! I actually saw this in the theatres AND caught Senor Peppard pushing it on the Tonight Show. Pepperd's moustache and southern accent are cheesier than the oh so special effects.
- DirectorRoy Ward BakerCheh ChangStarsPeter CushingDavid ChiangJulie EgeIn China, Professor Van Helsing helps eight kung fu-trained siblings reclaim their ancestral mountain village, now the domain of seven powerful vampires and their army of undead slaves.**snappy palm outward salute** "Sergeant MacIntyre, Scotland Yard, Hammer Films. Hong Kong Division, sir."
- DirectorWilliam CrainStarsWilliam MarshallVonetta McGeeDenise NicholasAn 18th-century African prince, turned into a vampire by Dracula, finds himself in modern-day Los Angeles.Oh, man. Where to start? First, besides the beginning, it is in no way camp. The wry observations about cops, clubs, economic disparity, and a host of other comments are great. If they were in some crappy documentary, it would be considered genius. Anyhow, Blacula's diatribe against two pimps is PRICELESS. Also, pay STRICT attention any time the LAPD is on the scene
- DirectorLarry N. StoufferStarsPat CardiAustin StokerRosie HolotikA shock-filled tale of a serious and shy but brilliant science student who, when wrongfully forced to consume a new drug he'd created, becomes a modern day Jekyll and Hyde.It was "Twisted Brain" when I 1st saw in on Chiller Theatre. It could be a disturbing allegory of"Columbine" if you gave it enough thought.
- DirectorTim BurtonStarsPaul ReubensElizabeth DailyMark HoltonWhen eccentric man-child Pee-wee Herman gets his beloved bike stolen in broad daylight, he sets out across the U.S. on the adventure of his life.This changed my whole attitude towards James Brolin. The "Mr.T" cereal and Twisted Sister's cameo date it, but its still a great, great flick. Poor Paul Reuben. Hometown haters CREATED that so-called controversy that stalled his career. I hope he re-emerges as a Bill Murray type "serious" actor.
- DirectorStanley KubrickStarsKirk DouglasRalph MeekerAdolphe MenjouAfter a failed attack on a German position, a general orders three soldiers, chosen at random, court-martialed for cowardice and their commanding officer must defend them.Arguably the most "classy" of this list, I promise you will watch every minute of it. There are times when I hopped up and yelled at the TV al a Homer Simpson. The arrogance of the general staff and the injustice of it all will stay with you. One of the best 'closing bit' ever filmed.
- DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsRichard DreyfussFrançois TruffautTeri GarrRoy Neary, an Indiana electric lineman, finds his quiet and ordinary daily life turned upside down after a close encounter with a UFO, spurring him to an obsessed cross-country quest for answers as a momentous event approaches.Aged worse than "Tribes" but always worth a watch. Dreyfuss is actually bearable in this, credit goes to the director.
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsSigourney WeaverTom SkerrittJohn HurtThe crew of a commercial spacecraft encounters a deadly lifeform after investigating a mysterious transmission of unknown origin.The one that started it all. After enduring "Prometheus", watching this was almost like seeing it for the 1st time. Perfect in ao many ways, especially scope, ingenuity, and pacing as well as characters.
- DirectorDouglas HickoxStarsVincent PriceDiana RiggIan HendryA Shakespearean actor takes poetic revenge on the critics who denied him recognition.Ms. Riggs magnificent rack should of got a credit (or two, heh heh). Not too big, not too small, she has "Goldilocks" breasts. She has a seriously under-rated set of tomatoes and the same could also be said about her as an actress. :cartoon American Gangster Voice: "Soo-poib".
- DirectorJoseph SargentStarsDarren McGavinEarl HollimanJan-Michael VincentA Marine Corps drill instructor who is disgusted by the fact that the Corps now accepts draftees finds himself pitted against a hippie who has been drafted but refuses to accept the military's way of doing things.It didn't age too well, but still fun.
- DirectorPaul BartelStarsDavid CarradineSylvester StalloneSimone GriffethIn a dystopian future, a cross country automobile race requires contestants to run down innocent pedestrians to gain points that are tallied based on each kill's brutality.There truly don't make movies like this anymore.