My Bottom 100
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101 titles
- DirectorJason FriedbergAaron SeltzerStarsCarmen ElectraVanessa LacheyNicole ParkerOver the course of one evening, an unsuspecting group of twenty-somethings find themselves bombarded by a series of natural disasters and catastrophic events.Until the last 20 minutes where you are faintly interested in wheather they do whatever it is they're trying to do (or not do it) - there is nothing. It is absolutely vacuous. It is devoid of entertainment. I was shocked. I got excited that I might actually give it a 0/100. Way to become a modicum better in the end.
It takes time and effort from you, but gives nothing in return.
Disaster Movie wanted me to believe the skinny love interest with no boobs or bottom stuck in the museum was more attractive than Kim Curvedashian.
The Hulk is not a disaster movie.
Hancock is not a disaster movie.
Alvin and the Chipmunks is not a disaster movie.
Juno is not a disaster movie.
Sex In The City is not a disaster movie.
The meteors are a disaster, but they're not a movie.
My family all went to bed during this movie because they didn't like it. I stayed. It was like a challenge.
Fitting name.
My score: 5/100 - DirectorMelanie Anne PhillipsStarsDan LunhamTerri BerlandRolf TheisonA group of explorers surveying an abandoned goldmine are trapped in a cave in, and find themselves at the mercy of a slimy, mysterious creature.Filmed with a strange camera which could only just detect light and sound.
Outside, it keeps changing from mid-day to evening to night.
Inside the cave, everyone is unlikable and depressingly dull.
You'd think all the people you hate/don't care for getting killed by the poorly done stop-motion land octopus would be good. It is not.
This movie will make you want to rip your hair out.
My score: 7/100 - DirectorBill RebaneStarsPaul CallawayRichard LangeGlenn SchererWhen Kelly Morgan was 11 years old he had a terrifying encounter with Rana, a strange half man/half frog monster living in a lake. The creature killed his father and many other people before Kelly destroyed it. Now as a young man he returns to search for the monster's hidden treasure, and to see if the legendary creature really was killed.Actually called: 'CROAKED: FROG MONSTER FROM HELL'
Who doesn't want to watch a movie called that??
*Not a sequel to Frogs*
My score: 9/100 - DirectorNorman Thaddeus VaneStarsFerdy MayneLuca BercoviciNita TalbotWhen his loyal fans decide to steal his fresh corpse from the mortuary to party with it all night long, a true horror film star returns from the grave as a ghastly blood-sucker, bent on revenge. At least, will he spare his followers?The DVD said it was called: 'The Body Snatchers'
The movie called itself: 'The Horror Star'
Now IMDB informs me its name is: 'Frightmare'
Who would dig up a fresh corpse and have a party and dance with it? people I'm suposed to relate to/like?
Death are frustratingly dire. This one girl gets crushed against the wall by a slow hovering piano. It takes 10 seconds to get to her and instead of moving out the way, she stands still and screams for all her seconds.
My score: 10/100 - DirectorGeorge McCowanStarsRay MillandSam ElliottJoan Van ArkA group of helpless victims celebrate a birthday on an island estate crawling with killer amphibians, birds, insects, and reptiles.There is no way frogs are dangerous or scary.
People get suprised after waking up and seeing lots of frogs so they fall out of windows or into the lake and drown.
My score: 10/100 - DirectorVince D'AmatoStarsBonny GirouxC.S. MunroMaritama CarlsonTwo of horrordom's most feared creatures against one another. When young Jenna becomes affected by a mysterious vampiric disease, she begins to hallucinate, and her father whisks her away on a journey to find the source of the infection.More like: Lesbian Vampires mess around and fight Humans sometimes and Zombies are around a bit.
How could this be that bad you wonder?
My score: 11/100 - DirectorVal GuestStarsForrest TuckerPeter CushingMaureen ConnellA kindly English botanist and a gruff American scientist lead an expedition to the Himalayas in search of the legendary Yeti.A wife-ignoring, English botanist and a dumb American who yells all his lines, lead an expedition of shouting people up stock footage of a Himalayan mountain and onto sets sprinkled with talcum powder to see who can be the most horribly one dimensional.
Along their journey, they encounter monks with idiotic made-up dance rituals, an avalanche that comes out of a bucket, and a few very disappointing seconds of old men in fur coats looming in the shadows.
My score: 12/100 - DirectorIrvin S. Yeaworth Jr.Russell S. Doughten Jr.StarsSteve McQueenAneta CorsautEarl RoweAn alien lifeform consumes everything in its path as it grows and grows.Superimposed glob of jelly slimes a diner.
My score: 13/100 - DirectorMatt RoutledgeStarsMatt RoutledgeChris CarneyKevin McMahonTaunted by his peers for his Americanised cop persona, Conner Philips is unequaled in the art of fighting crime. Turning chopsticks, trouser belts, socks and towels into unusual weapons to combat crime, he is walking advertisement for the Mersey Police. However the kung-fu kicking scouse detective's skills are put to the test when a new gangster moves to the north west and is determined to ruin the lives of every police officer in Liverpool. Unmoved by wealth, and motivated by vengeance, his message is a clear one. By placing a bomb at the top of the Liverpool tower, he hopes to lure the police into the building, seemingly to disarm the bomb. But he has other plans in mind for the innocent police officers...You must see this crap. Also goes by the name "Fist of Justice".
The director is the star and he makes himself out as this cool awesome dude.
My score: 15/100 - DirectorDon ChaffeyStarsTodd ArmstrongNancy KovackGary RaymondThe legendary Greek hero leads a team of intrepid adventurers in a perilous quest for the legendary Golden Fleece.I watched about half an hour each day for three days and then I didn't watch the rest because it was so painfully godawful. Never did see the skeleton battle.
Jason's quest was about stealing something that some people needed, so I wasn't behind him on it.
I actually looked forwards to the painful dialogue scenes when they were fighting monsters because those were absolutely dismal.
Also, Zeus was a pussy.
My score: 16/100 - DirectorJoseph ZitoStarsErich AndersonJudie AronsonPeter BartonAfter being announced dead and taken to a morgue, Jason Voorhees spontaneously revives, escapes from the hospital, and stalks a group of friends renting a house in the countryside near Crystal Lake.My score: 18/100
- DirectorClaudio FragassoStarsMichael Paul StephensonGeorge HardyMargo PreyA vacationing family discovers that the entire town they're visiting is inhabited by goblins, disguised as humans, who plan to eat them.Brilliantly bad. You need to see it at least once in your lifespan.
It contains:
No trolls.
An annoying child with huge nostrels.
A sexy pajama angry dad.
A mother who is uglier and creepier than the goblins.
A sister who dances like it's still the 80s.
Her boyfriend who shakes his head around all the time.
Short, pathetic, dawky, annoying friends.
A baddy who is suposed to be creepy, but is actually the only likable character.
Nonsense.
My score: 19/100 - DirectorMichael A. SimpsonStarsPamela SpringsteenTracy GriffithMichael J. PollardAfter murdering a young girl, Angela Baker assumes her identity and travels to Camp New Horizons, built on the grounds of the camp she terrorized the year before, and starts killing again.Back in my day, this was called 'Nightmare Vacation III'.
My score: 19/100 - DirectorDominic SenaStarsKate BeckinsaleGabriel MachtTom SkerrittU.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko tracks a killer in Antarctica as the sun is about to set for six months.It's the same old sh it you've seen a million times.
At least Troll 2 can be enjoyed in certain situations.
My score: 20/100 - DirectorMarcus NispelStarsKarl UrbanClancy BrownMoon BloodgoodA Viking boy is left behind after his clan battles a Native American tribe. Raised within the tribe, he ultimately becomes their savior in a fight against the Norsemen.Some boring barbarian gets boring revenge on someone/something boring.
His mum killed herself to make blood when she could have just cut herself to get the blood. Dumbass.
You've seen this before. Don't waste your time. Has nothing.
My score: 20/100 - DirectorRoger CormanStarsSusan CabotAnthony EisleyBarboura MorrisThe head of a major cosmetics company experiments on herself with a youth formula made from royal jelly extracted from wasps, but the formula's side effects have deadly consequences.Watched it for the title. She only has a wasp face.
Rather opposite of what the poster implies will happen, really.
My score: 20/100 - DirectorFred F. SearsStarsHugh MarloweJoan TaylorDonald CurtisExtraterrestrials traveling in high-tech flying saucers contact a scientist as part of a plan to enslave the inhabitants of Earth.My score: 20/100
- DirectorJon HessStarsLisa HartmanA MartinezPat HingleAn alien life form lands on earth and begins to feed off electricity, making it grow to enormous size. The authorities must stop it as it slithers cross-country towards a nuclear power plant.My very first "awful movie you must see".
The alien is a reversed fish. It electrocutes people and the baseball team think its just a bat that showed up at a baseball game. Almost as bad as Troll 2.
My score: 21/100 - DirectorJosh AppignanesiStarsOmid DjaliliRichard SchiffArchie PanjabiAn identity crisis comedy centred on Mahmud Nasir, successful business owner, and salt of the earth East End Muslim who discovers that he's adopted - and Jewish.Your parents were Jewish. That doesn't mean you're Jewish.
I don't get why having Jewish parents is such a troublesome thing unless you're some kind of bogot weirdo.
In the cinema, only the Muslims were laughing because Muslims like terrible low-brow humour.
I was determined to watch this all the way through, even if it made my friend unhappy.
My score: 22/100 - DirectorWalter P. MartishiusWilliam LauStarsKelly SheridanLee TockarTabitha St. GermainIn Fairytopia's Magic Meadow, the beautiful sprite, Elina, longs for a sparkling set of wings. When the evil Laverna weakens all flying creatures, Elina must find the Guardian Fairy, Azura. Can a single little fairy thwart Laverna's plans?I was curious.
I'll never forget the way the butterfly shouted: "GET ON MY BACK!".
My score 22/100 - DirectorUwe BollStarsJonathan CherryTyron LeitsoClint HowardA group of college students travels to a mysterious island to attend a rave, which is soon taken over by bloodthirsty zombies.Had to watch Freddy Vs. Jason to wash the memory of this disaster away.
It's like they made it as awful as they could.
My score: 22/100 - DirectorGordon FlemyngStarsPeter CushingBernard CribbinsRay BrooksDr. Who and his companions arrive on Earth in the year 2150 AD, only to discover that the planet has been invaded and its population enslaved by the dreaded Daleks.Daleks want to empty the core of the Earth and use it as a space ship?
Playing with the Earth's magnetic field causes all the Daleks to get sucked into space?
What rubbish. Not fun rubbish - boring rubbish.
A Dalek gets pushed down a slope and when it rolls to a stop, it explodes!
My score: 23/100 - DirectorBrad SykesStarsLisa JayKarla ZamudioJeff RyanA group of college students decide to party at the abandoned chemical factory on the outskirts of town, unknowing that one of the former factory workers is still lurking about.My score: 23/100
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsSheri Moon ZombieMeg FosterBruce DavisonRadio DJ Heidi is sent a box containing a record--a "gift from the Lords". The sounds within the grooves trigger flashbacks of her town's violent past. Is Heidi going mad, or are the Lords back to take revenge on Salem, Massachusetts?An interesting looking, but extremely boring lady named Heidi plays a cool sounding song that we never get to fully hear. Zombies and Yetis lurk about with music telling you how scary they are. Naked grannys dance about from time to time. Three creepy women in Heidi's apartment introduce her to a dwarf in a cooked chicken costume. Heidi annoys the Chicken Dwarf as she's on crack and can't play the "hold my intestines" game properly. The creepy women are horny for a journalist who has figured out something funny is happening, so they murder him with a frying pan. Chicken Dwarf wants to play again, but Heidi is sleeping. Her co worker cares a bit, but not too much. Then the naked grannies all pretend that Heidi gave birth to a starfish/knot of tree roots. This is the witches curse.
My score: 23/100 - DirectorColin BuddsStarsJesse SpencerCapkin Van AlphenSara GleesonA community is terrorized by deadly stone gargoyles, which have been brought to life by a supernatural talisman.Couldn't finish it. That scene with the gargoyle attack was just soo poor.
My score: 24/100