Movies I Don't Recommend
While you can still learn something from the movies on this list, they're movies I wish I hadn't seen, Movies which I felt wasted my time and didn't give me much in return.
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- DirectorAlfred HitchcockStarsKaren BlackBruce DernBarbara HarrisA phony psychic/con artist and her taxi driver/actor boyfriend encounter a pair of serial kidnappers while trailing a missing heir in California.A disappointment for Hitchcock fans. Lower-level writing from the usually good Ernest Lehman, a cast that never seems to spark, an at times dated at times interesting score from John Williams, this film just doesn't quite work.
- DirectorJames GoldstoneStarsSidney PoitierWill GeerBradford DillmanA man who returns to his hometown for a funeral may have a much larger purpose in life than those around him can see.A wierd, confusing, and frustrating film. Unless you're real 'churhy', the twist that brother John is an angel isn't interesting at all.
- StarsNeil Patrick HarrisNathan FillionFelicia DayAn aspiring supervillain must balance his career and his pursuit of a beautiful do-gooder.Dull songs, a cast I don't care for, juvenile writing, and cheap production values all contribute to this having been a waste of my time.
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsHenry CavillAmy AdamsMichael ShannonAn alien child is evacuated from his dying world and sent to Earth to live among humans. His peace is threatened when other survivors of his home planet invade Earth.Metropolis-leveling aliens, dumb fights and uninteresting characters.
- DirectorEthan CoenJoel CoenStarsTommy Lee JonesJavier BardemJosh BrolinViolence and mayhem ensue after a hunter stumbles upon the aftermath of a drug deal gone wrong and over two million dollars in cash near the Rio Grande.Anton Chigurh is a terribly disturbing villain, too disturbing for me. It might work if I gave a damn about the protaginst, but he's just not interesting. Chigurh is a hate-able villain, but not in the good way. I don't even want to see him fall, I just want him to be gone, I don't want to see any more of him.
- DirectorMartin ScorseseStarsRobert De NiroJodie FosterCybill ShepherdA mentally unstable veteran works as a nighttime taxi driver in New York City, where the perceived decadence and sleaze fuels his urge for violent action.I needed to take six showers to feel clean after watching this movie. Bernard Herrmann's wonderful score was the only real redeeming feature for me.
- DirectorAnton CorbijnStarsPhilip Seymour HoffmanRachel McAdamsDaniel BrühlA Chechen Muslim illegally immigrates to Hamburg, where he gets caught in the international war on terror.Confusing and dull.
- DirectorCameron CroweStarsJohn CusackIone SkyeJohn MahoneyA noble underachiever and a beautiful valedictorian fall in love the summer before she goes off to college.Boring 80s teen romance.
- DirectorJulie TaymorStarsSalma HayekAlfred MolinaGeoffrey RushA biography of artist Frida Kahlo, who channeled the pain of a crippling injury and her tempestuous marriage into her work.
- DirectorSam PeckinpahStarsSteve McQueenAli MacGrawBen JohnsonA recently-released ex-con and his loyal wife go on the run after a heist goes awry.This is the kind of movie that just makes me feel like there's no point to anything. I hate it.
- DirectorBob FosseStarsLiza MinnelliMichael YorkHelmut GriemA female girlie club entertainer in Weimar Republic era Berlin romances two men while the Nazi Party rises to power around them.I was very unsatisfied by this film.
- DirectorGeorge MarshallStarsBob HopeLucille BallBruce CabotAn American actor impersonating an English butler is hired by a woman from New Mexico to refine her husband and headstrong daughter. The complications increase when the town believes Arthur to be an Earl, and President Roosevelt decides to pay a visit.Not a great script.
- DirectorJack CardiffStarsRod TaylorTrevor HowardJill St. JohnColonel Mostyn of the British Intelligence Service suspects there is a leak in his department and hires an American expatriate to eliminate various targets working for the Soviets.Jill St. John is atrocious and Rod Taylor isn't very interesting in this movie. Lalo Schifrin's score is wonderful, but that's all.
- DirectorGeorge SidneyStarsTony CurtisDean MartinJanet LeighIll-advised by a pal, a chemistry professor falsely claims to be an undercover FBI agent to cover up his marital infidelity; his wife swallows his life, but it gets him in trouble with the real FBI, the CIA, and the KGB.
- DirectorAlfred HitchcockStarsHenry FondaVera MilesAnthony QuayleIn 1953, an innocent man named Christopher Emanuel "Manny" Balestrero is arrested after being mistaken for an armed robber.For the man who said he doesn't like to make kitchen sink dramas, this is awfully pedestrian and ordinary. TOO ordinary. Dull and the ending's a pathetic let down.
- DirectorEdward DmytrykStarsGeorge PeppardAlan LaddRobert CummingsJonas Cord is a disagreeable young tycoon who's building planes, directing films, and catting around on the corporate make in 1930s Hollywood.Story of a wild tormented millionare with nothing particularly interesting about it save for maybe Edith Head's costumes and some of Elmer Bernstien's music.
- DirectorZoltan KordaStarsGregory PeckJoan BennettRobert PrestonIn British East Africa, a fatal triangle develops involving a frustrated wife, a weak and coward husband, and an English big-game hunter who comes between the couple.Didn't click.
- DirectorBrad BirdStarsGeorge ClooneyBritt RobertsonHugh LaurieBound by a shared destiny, a teen bursting with scientific curiosity and a former boy-genius inventor embark on a mission to unearth the secrets of a place somewhere in time and space that exists in their collective memory.Never quite gets going and gets far too preachy at the end. I love Brad Bird, but this film was disappointing.
- DirectorCarol ReedStarsOrson WellesJoseph CottenAlida ValliPulp novelist Holly Martins travels to shadowy, postwar Vienna, only to find himself investigating the mysterious death of an old friend, Harry Lime.So dull. And that ZITHER UGGGHHH... It's a good pop hit, but it's annoying.
- DirectorLuca GuadagninoStarsTimothée ChalametArmie HammerMichael StuhlbargIn 1980s Italy, romance blossoms between a seventeen-year-old student and the older man hired as his father's research assistant.Despite all the claims that it "recalls the first time your fell in love" there's nothing here but lust and characters who lack heart. What's the point of it? I'm thankful that it introduced me to that one gorgeous Ravel piece, but otherwise not a good film.
- DirectorDenis VilleneuveStarsHarrison FordRyan GoslingAna de ArmasYoung Blade Runner K's discovery of a long-buried secret leads him to track down former Blade Runner Rick Deckard, who's been missing for thirty years.I'm not a fan of the original and this movie contains everything I disliked about the original while managing to be even more cold and purposless. And Zimmer's score is so 'BWAAAHHH' that it'll drive you up the wall.
- DirectorVal GuestKen HughesJohn HustonStarsDavid NivenPeter SellersUrsula AndressIn an early spy spoof, aging Sir James Bond comes out of retirement to take on SMERSH.Burt Bacharach's score is interesting and 'The Look Of Love' is a wonderful song, but other than that this film - despite it's impressive array of stars - is a mess.
- DirectorDaniel MannStarsElizabeth TaylorLaurence HarveyEddie FisherA beautiful New York model and socialite enjoys a very active night-life, but all things change when she falls for a married man and the consequences are tragic.A somewhat confusing plot, Laurence Harvey is about as unsympathetic and uninteresting as you can get. Broinslau Kaper's score doesn't get to do much and the film's pretty much carried by Liz Taylor's beauty.
- DirectorW.S. Van DykeStarsWilliam PowellMyrna LoyMaureen O'SullivanFormer detective Nick Charles and his wealthy wife Nora investigate a murder case, mostly for the fun of it.After THE THIRD MAN, THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH, and now THE THIN MAN, I have resolved never again to watch a movie titled THE _____ MAN. While Myrna Loy and William Powel are charming and have definite chemistry, the rest of the cast is just as bad as the confusing and shoddy plot which surrounds them. This director was known for shooting in one take and the rushed and sloppy quality is evident in the film.
- DirectorAbe LevitowStarsJudy GarlandRobert GouletRed ButtonsA farm cat moves to Paris in search of the high life while her wannabe lover from back home tries to reunite.Despite the voice talents of Judy Garland, Robert Goulet and Hermione Gingold, the animation of Chuck Jones and songs by frequent Garland composer Harold Arlen, this film falls flat. Musette is an overly-simple protagonist and the plot simply has no pull.
- DirectorOrson WellesStarsRita HayworthOrson WellesEverett SloaneFascinated by gorgeous Mrs. Bannister, seaman Michael O'Hara joins a bizarre yachting cruise, and ends up mired in a complex murder plot.I love Rita Hayworth, but I generally dislike Orson Welles. Something about his films just doesn't get me.
- DirectorGeorge CukorStarsMarilyn MonroeYves MontandTony RandallWhen billionaire Jean-Marc Clement learns that he is to be satirized in an off-Broadway revue, he passes himself off as an actor playing him in order to get closer to the beautiful star of the show, Amanda Dell.A forgettable Monroe romance.
- DirectorDon BluthStarsDom DeLuiseChristopher PlummerErica YohnWhile emigrating to the United States, a young Russian mouse gets separated from his family and must locate them while trying to survive in a new country.Something about this film never quite feels right.
- DirectorGeorge CukorStarsJohn BarrymoreKatharine HepburnBillie BurkeA man, Hilary Fairfield returns home after fifteen years in a mental asylum. However, he finds things are not the way they were when he left.Katharine Hepburn's film debut, this film has aged poorly and contains little of the panache or narrative strength that Kate's known for.
- DirectorHenry HathawayStarsMarilyn MonroeJoseph CottenJean PetersAs two couples are visiting Niagara Falls, tensions between one wife and her husband reach the level of murder.
- DirectorRidley ScottStarsHarrison FordRutger HauerSean YoungA blade runner must pursue and terminate four replicants who stole a ship in space and have returned to Earth to find their creator.Gets too cold-intellectual-sci-fi for me. I don't understand the point.
- DirectorWoody AllenStarsMia FarrowJeff DanielsDanny AielloIn 1935 New Jersey, a movie character walks off the screen and into the real world.Though the idea of movie characters literally leaping off the screen is intriguing, this exploration of it never feels right. I discovered that not only is Woody Allen a complete creep, but his films are overrated.
- DirectorMark RobsonStarsPaul NewmanJoanne WoodwardMyrna LoyAn ambitious young executive chooses a loveless marriage and an unfulfilling personal life in exchange for a successful Wall Street career.
- DirectorW.S. Van DykeStarsJoan CrawfordClark GableFranchot ToneA runaway bride and an undercover reporter get caught up in political intrigue as they lead a merry chase across Europe and uncover a spy plot.