[what he wanted inscribed on his tombstone] No flowers, please. I'm allergic.
A good play, a good radio show, or a good television program is a
marriage of the talents of performer and writer. But if the bride never
sees the groom and the marriage is never consummated---well, you know
what that makes the brain child.
Before each game, an announcement is made that anyone interfering with or
touching a batted ball will be ejected from the park. Please advise Mr.
Mize that this doesn't apply to him. [referring to Johnny Mize, an
inept fielding baseball player]