- Judith 'Judy' Nelson: I wanted a husband with the virtues of a lover, not a lover with the vices of a husband.
- Steven 'Steve' Brewster: Today marks the beginning of a new era in my life. I'm going to let he dead past bury it's dead.
- Policeman: Who lives here?
- Martha - the Housekeeper: Mrs. Jane Madison, she's abroad.
- Policeman: Never mind that. Tell her to come down.
- Martha - the Housekeeper: But, she's away, traveling!
- Policeman: Well, why didn't you say so?
- Wally Richards: We have to make a cash settlement, right away.
- Steven 'Steve' Brewster: Hey, wait a minute. Why?
- Wally Richards: I wouldn't trust any jury with that fan dancer on the stand.
- Gus: I couldn't move if I wanted to. I believe I broke my back.
- Fay - the Fan Dancer: Yeah and I broke two ribs and eight commandments.
- Fay - the Fan Dancer: Gus, this is what I call parkin' the body in a tub of butter.
- Gus: You said it, baby. You said it.
- Aunt Jane Madison: Don't let that stupid taxi driver bring them in. He's annoyed me terrifically. All the way from the station, I wanted the window open. Or was it shut? Anyway, I wanted it the way it wasn't, whichever way it was, and I couldn't make him understand. He's *positively* scatterbrained.
- Gus: Don't forget, those birds are certainly gonna pay for that crack up last night.
- Fay - the Fan Dancer: It's just our rotten luck that we didn't get hurt.
- Gus: Well, if I hadn't have been so excited I would have at least had the presence of mind to give you a kick in the face.
- Fay - the Fan Dancer: Oh, yeah?
- Gus: We better get to them quick. Gus don't know anything about the Navy.
- Wally Richards: Well, any old port in the storm.
- Gus: Yeah, but the only port that that guy knows anything about, it comes in a bottle.
- Wally Richards: Did you have a nice trip?
- Fay - the Fan Dancer: Oh, a panorama of romance and adventure. Spain, France, Italy. I never tire of Italy. The sea and the sky and the ruins. Wally, you *must* see Italy before it all falls apart.
- Fay - the Fan Dancer: Oh, Steve's letters were filled with little Judy this and little Judy that. Judy, Judith, Judy.
- Aunt Jane Madison: I'm glad of this chance of a moment alone with you. I've got something to show you. Now I bet you can't guess what I have in this box. I'll give you a hint. I bought it in Paris.
- Gus: Postcards?
- [wink]
- Detective Dugan: Listen, you scribbling squirt, you stay out of this house. I was solving murders when you were in three-cornered pants.
- Aunt Jane Madison: Evidently, she isn't accustomed to cocktails. She's so naive. Steven will have to watch out for her after they're married.
- Gus: [Aunt Jane showing a diamond bracelet] Blow the man down, lady, that certainly is a cargo of ice.
- Aunt Jane Madison: Do you think your baby will like it?
- Gus: Do I think my baby'll like it? Woah, when she see's that, she'll do nip-ups!
- Aunt Jane Madison: Nip-ups?
- Wally Richards: I told her there was insanity in your family.
- Gus: You did? Well, some call it madness, but I call it love.
- Steven 'Steve' Brewster: What did she say?
- Wally Richards: She pooh-poohed the idea.
- Gus: Why certainly. Why should she think I'm a nut? She hardly knows me.
- Wally Richards: She's tight!
- Steven 'Steve' Brewster: And dressed for her fan dance.
- Wally Richards: Did you say dressed?
- Gus: What's this?
- Martha - the Housekeeper: Caviar.
- Gus: Cavio?
- [takes a bite, grimaces]
- Gus: Bird shot with hair oil.
- Aunt Jane Madison: The dear child, is accomplished, isn't she?
- Gus: On of couple of cocktails, Mrs. Madison, when she's really wha you call 'accomplished', she don't use no fans.
- Steven 'Steve' Brewster: You know, vibrations.
- Judith 'Judy' Nelson: All right, dear. I won't leave you while you're in trouble.
- Steven 'Steve' Brewster: Darling, then, you'll never leave me.
- Steven 'Steve' Brewster: [a woman screams] It's Judy!
- Wally Richards: No, it's Fay.
- Detective Dugan: It's a gal!
- Aunt Jane Madison: Oh, I should have taken your advice in the first place. But, I thought you were just making a mountain out of a moleskin.