Merry Wives of Reno (1934)

Guy Kibbee: Tom

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lois : Drunk again!

  Tom : Hooray! So am I! Another little drink wouldn't do us any harm.

• Tom : What's that got to do with me? I don't go around tunin' lady's pianos.

• Tom : Somebody should have shot me the day I married you.

  Lois : You wouldn't have felt it. You were too drunk.

• Tom : Where do you think you're going?

  Frank : I'm going to pieces!

• Tom : Now, listen, little snookie-wookie, I don't want to engage in any brawls.

• Tom : All right, little snookie-wookie, now that you've ordered that fur coat, I suppose I'll have to pay for it. But, that twenty-five hundred dollars is liable to drive me right into the bankruptcy court.

  Lois : Well, if you don't pay for it, they'll drive you right into the morgue.

• Tom : I took it to the cleaners to get it cleaned.

  Lois : Which cleaners?

  Tom : Huh? Oh, the one around the corner - the cleaning shop and laundry.

  Lois : You mean to say they're open at this hour? Ten o'clock at night!

  Tom : Those Chinamen work all the time.

  Lois : The place on the corner happens to be a French cleaning shop.

  Tom : Huh? The proprietor is from French Indo-China!

• Tom : Good morning.

  Lois : It may be good to you; but, my mouth feels like a Chinese family just moved out.

• Tom : That, like last night, was slow poison.

  Lois : Well, I'm in no hurry.

• Tom : Any body that can handle my wife, like I have for 19 years, can handle any woman! Say, what I do to her!

• Tom : You're drunk!

  Lois : How do you know?

  Tom : That's the first time you've kissed me in 19 years.

• Tom : Now, just a minute, I can explain anything - I - I mean everything!

• Lois : Now you can show people you can get just as drunk in Reno as you do in New York.

  Tom : Maybe drunker!

• Colonel Fitch : Did you knock?

  Bunny : So! This is why you moved out of our apartment, huh! So you could have pajama parties with women at three o'clock in the morning.

  Colonel Fitch : Well, my watch was stopped and I didn't know what time it was.

  Frank : Where's my wife?

  Tom : Where's my wife?

  Colonel Fitch : Oh, have you mislaid your wives?

• Tom : All right, little snookie-wookie. Now that you've ordered that fur coat, I, I suppose I'll have to pay for it, but that, that 25 hundred dollars is liable to drive me right into the bankruptcy court!

  Lois : Well, if you don't pay for it they'll drive you right into the morgue!

  Tom : 25 hundred dollars is just the initial cost. You've got to add to that the price of my breakfast every morning at Child's.

  Lois : What's the matter with the breakfast *I* get you?

  Tom : Well, the 19 years I've been married to you, I never had a chance to find out whether you can cook or not. You've always started a quarrel before I got started eatin'.

• Tom : Snookie-wookie?

  Lois : What?

  Tom : Would you divorce me for fifty dollars a week alimony?

  Lois : I will for a hundred and fifty.

  Tom : Ohh, make it seventy-five.

  Lois : You're pretty low, but you're not in the bargain basement.

  Tom : Well, I gotta live too.

  Lois : *Why?*

• Tom : [drunkenly]  My friend, did you ever beat a hasty retreat through an open winda?

  Proprietor of Jim's Diner : You see this?

  [points to a large scar on his forehead] 

  Proprietor of Jim's Diner : I didn't even have time to *open* the window.

  Tom : That's nuthin'. One night in Great Neck, her husband dropped in outta the clear sky, and I dropped out of the 2nd story winda. I've had flat feet ever since.

  [they laugh]