- Professor Eduardo de Vinci: Young woman, do you know who I am?
- Alice Hughes: No.
- Professor Eduardo de Vinci: I'm Eduardo de Vinci!
- Alice Hughes: That could be fixed.
- Richard 'Dick' Purcell, aka Ricardo Purcelli: This radio's a good racket!
- Professor Eduardo de Vinci: Radio! Psstttt! Singing for soap, a flea powder, dough biscuits, or a cheese. I will not permit it!
- [Walks away, turns around, walks back]
- Professor Eduardo de Vinci: Do you think they would be interested?
- Richard 'Dick' Purcell, aka Ricardo Purcelli: You can't tell. Maybe I'll even turn out to be a crooner.
- Professor Eduardo de Vinci: In Italian, there is no word for crooner.
- Richard 'Dick' Purcell, aka Ricardo Purcelli: That's okay, Professor, in English, there's no word for spaghetti.
- Mrs. Flaggenheim: When poor Mr. Flaggenheim, was alive and running the business, he seemed to think that all cheese needed was an odor. Experience has taught me that what a cheese needs is romance.
- Cliff Stanley: Ah, the goddess of light, herself, the fairest lady in all Babylon. How are you, baby?
- Professor Eduardo de Vinci: It is like I have always told you, a singer, an artist, can get a nowhere in this country. Animal noises, a jazz band, bad a jokes - that's what they want.
- E.V. Richards, Radio Producer: Now, Alice, you'll have to take charge of Mrs. Flaggenheim. She's got this foreigner bug in her bonnet and can't get it out.
- Alice Hughes: I'll do the best I can, Mr. Richards.
- Richard 'Dick' Purcell, aka Ricardo Purcelli: Say, I see you didn't lose your job.
- Alice Hughes: And I still see you're still driving a cab.
- Professor Eduardo de Vinci: He says a, for that, he would not even let you have his gondola.
- Mrs. Flaggenheim: Oh, well, my lands, Alice, I wouldn't even know how to hold it.
- E.V. Richards, Radio Producer: I'm not interested in that. I'm interested...
- Alice Hughes: In his singing at eight o'clock on the Flagenheim Cheese Hour. Well, I don't care if he sings tonight or next Tuesday. All I want to do is find him. I want to tell him that I don't care if he's a gondolier or a cab driver or a deep-sea diver. I want to tell him that I'd rather live in two room in the Bronx than live with a phony!