- Kamisha, the Gypsy: Kamisha will help you. I am Kamisha.
- Charlie McCarthy: Come again?
- Kamisha, the Gypsy: No, no, no. Kamisha. That means, in the gypsy language, "open eye."
- Charlie McCarthy: Oh, yeah. Well, my name is Charlie McCarthy. In the Irish language, that means, Charlie McCarthy.
- Kamisha, the Gypsy: I like you very much.
- Charlie McCarthy: You know, I think I have a gypsy blood in me too.
- Kamisha, the Gypsy: Yes?
- Charlie McCarthy: Yes. It's either that or - goat's milk.
- Cecil, a hobo: Are you going swimming now?
- Charlie McCarthy: Yes.
- Professor: Oh, yes. Yes. You see, we want to avoid the cop who chased us off yesterday.
- Charlie McCarthy: Yeah.
- Professor: He told us we weren't allowed to swim in the reservoir because the city used it for drinking water.
- Charlie McCarthy: Well, they can't drink all of it. Can they?
- Professor: No.
- Cecil, a hobo: A bunch of high-tone cranks.
- Charlie McCarthy: Yeah. Well, just so they leave enough for us to bathe in.
- [first lines]
- Sylvester, a hobo: Hey professor, whatd'ya say to a game of auction bridge?
- Professor: No, count me out Sylvester. I'm going to take a swim down at the city reservoir.
- Charlie McCarthy: Yeah, me too. I'm going to do my standing, sitting, squatting swan dive.
- Cecil, a hobo: I hear the stocks dropped three points today.
- Professor: You don't say? Isn't that too bad. Are we lucky fellas? Ah, this is the life! This is the life that gets you.
- Charlie McCarthy: Yeah. Yeah, but, it gets you nowhere.
- unidentified vocal trio: [singing 'Down the Field' / Words by C.W. O'Conner, 1904 Law / Music by Stanleigh P. Friedman, 1905] March, march on down the field / Fighting for Eli / Break through that crimson line / Their strength to defy / We'll give a long cheer for Eli's men / We're here to win again / Hahvahd's team may fight to the end / But YALE! WILL! WIN!
- [Charlie sings as a tag 'Give me a bite of that pie']
- Professor: [referring to the fire that they're laying next to] You know, looking at the glowing embers is like gazing at a crystal; all sorts of weird images parade before my eyes.
- Charlie McCarthy: Uh huh.
- [obviously hungry]
- Charlie McCarthy: You don't see any hot dogs, do you?
- Professor: No, no.
- Professor: [while seeing a gypsy] Shh, sh-she's going into a trance; many strange things may appear before our eyes.
- Charlie McCarthy: [obviously hungry] Yeah, no chance of a small steak showing up?
- Professor: No.
- Professor: What's the matter?
- Charlie McCarthy: [after having just seen a spirit] Oh, uh, did you see it?
- Professor: No. Shh, I'm seeing things here.
- [gazing at the gypsy's crystal ball]
- Charlie McCarthy: Uh, 'you're' seeing things?
- Professor: Yes.
- Charlie McCarthy: You ain't seen nothing yet. I think Herbie's here.
- Professor: Well you talk to him, I'm mad at him.
- Charlie McCarthy: I don't want to pick a bone with him.
- Kamisha, the Gypsy: Ah, we have a spirit here.
- Charlie McCarthy: You're telling me?
- Professor: Is it brother Herbie?
- Charlie McCarthy: Well if it is, he's been on a diet.
- [seeing as the spirit resembled a skeleton]
- Charlie McCarthy: [referring to the dead Herbie Larkin's money that he is trying to swindle] Uncle Herbie, oh Herbie, yoo-hoo? If there's something you want to give me, I'll be glad to get it.
- [the levitating desk lid humorously whaps him on the head via the anger of the spirit]
- [last lines]
- Charlie McCarthy: [riding in a train boxcar with the other hobos as they sing] Well well, cheer up professor. We've been chased out of better towns than this.
- Professor: Heh, I suppose so. Well eh, where to now Mr. McCarthy?
- Charlie McCarthy: Let me see... shall it be uh, The Royal Poinciana at uh, Palm Beach? Or uh, Sloppy Joe's, huh?
- Professor: Heh, yes.
- Charlie McCarthy: Hyahaha. Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my.
- [the scene fades out as a scribbled note on the side of the boxcar reads 'Charlie McCarthy going south']