The Good Fairy (1935)
Frank Morgan: Konrad
Photos
Quotes
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Konrad : When I'm full of Dutch courage, I behave very Frenchly.
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Konrad : I can use one honest lawyer, but don't overdo it.
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Konrad : How's the lobster soup?
Detlaff, the Waiter : Terrible, sir.
Konrad : What?
Detlaff, the Waiter : If there's one thing our chef can't make, it's lobster soup.
Konrad : Well, how's the filet of sole?
Detlaff, the Waiter : Filet of sole, sir?
Konrad : Yes, yes!
Detlaff, the Waiter : Vile, sir.
Konrad : Vile?
Detlaff, the Waiter : I couldn't' recommend it. We're so far from the channel, you know sir, it has to be packed in ice. I suspect that the ice gave out about half way, sir.
Konrad : You don't mean?
Detlaff, the Waiter : Uhm...
[Gestures holding his nose]
Konrad : It's terrible?
Detlaff, the Waiter : Unfortunately, sir.
Konrad : Well, is there anything the matter with the... lamb?
Detlaff, the Waiter : Very leathery, sir.
Konrad : What is leathery? How can lamb be leathery?
Detlaff, the Waiter : I suspect it's goat, sir.
Konrad : Goat! This is ridiculous!
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Konrad : What does he do?
Luisa : Oh, my husband?
Konrad : Oh, well we're right back where we started. Certainly, your husband. What does he do?
Luisa : I never asked him.
Konrad : Oh, you never asked him. What does he do? I never asked him. When I say what does he do, I mean is he a butcher, a horse doctor, a dentist, or an undertaker, or what?
Luisa : What would you like him to be?
Konrad : What would I like him to be? Uh, whatever I'd like him to be, I mean, he would just be?
Luisa : He's very willing.
Konrad : Yes, well that always sounds bad. I suppose he'd be a deep-sea diver or something. That would give me a lot of trouble. Why couldn't you have married a lawyer or something?
Luisa : A lawyer? He is a lawyer.
Konrad : Well why didn't you say that in the first place?
Luisa : I was afraid maybe you didn't need one.
Konrad : What's his name?
Luisa : Oh, do you have to know his name?
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Konrad : Yes, certainly, his name.
Luisa : Do you have to know his name?
Konrad : Do I have to know his name? Luisa, really, sometimes, after all, you're a lit... -- do I have to know is name?
Luisa : Oh, heh, his name.
Konrad : Yes, certainly, his name. After all, it isn't as if I
[They are interrupted when a tipsy Dr. Metz bursts into room, followed by Detlaff]
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Luisa : Are you a minister too?
Konrad : Well, no, not exactly, although people often take me for one. I'm, I'm in the meat business.
Luisa : Oh.
Konrad : Uh, strictly wholesale, of course.
Luisa : Eh, heh, you don't look like a butcher.
Konrad : A butcher? Who me? I, wh.., I, I'm in, uh importer and exporter.
Luisa : But of meat?
Konrad : Well, why not? Uh, heh, heh, are you a vegetarian or something?
Luisa : Oh, no, no, I, uh, meat is very nice.
Konrad : Heh, you darn tootin' it is.
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Detlaff, the Waiter : Little by little it will come to you.
Konrad : Oh, shut up!
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Konrad : [to Detlaff] What are you doing here? What is this, a waiter's waiting room or something?
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Dr. Sporum : You are the good fairy. You flew into my life and changed everything.
Luisa : No, you're the good fairy who changed my life.
Detlaff, the Waiter : No, no, no! As a matter of fact, I'm entirely responsible.
Konrad : If you say it was you, I'll punch you right in the eye. If there's any good fairy around here, it's me.
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Dr. Sporum : I'm not a child, you know.
Konrad : No. Nobody could mistake you for one.
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Konrad : [after Max mentions a specific court case] I always wanted to congratulate you on winning it.
Dr. Sporum : But I lost it.
Konrad : Oh, you, uh, uh, of course, that's it... . but so cleverly. So very cleverly, doctor. Sometimes it's better to lose a case cleverly than to win it stupidly. That's what we admired.