The Princess Comes Across (1936)
Alison Skipworth: Lady Gertrude
Photos
Quotes
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Lady Gertrude Allwyn : The story is from a novel entitled Lavender and Old Lace, but the name of the cinema has been changed to... um... She Done Him Plenty.
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Lady Gertrude Allwyn : What is that?
Princess Olga : Why it's one of those things, you know, one of those come-to-you go-from-you things.
Lady Gertrude Allwyn : A concertina. And very vulgar. A definite symbol of the lower classes. Put the thing on the floor and it crawls.
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Lady Gertrude Allwyn : My dear, I am an old woman. I have travelled at home and abroad, and *never, never* have I known any good to come out of a concertina.
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King Mantell : Your Highness, there's something wrong with your tub.
Princess Olga : Vat?
King Mantell : Yes, you see, the water runs in and it runs out, but the trouble is it runs out faster than it runs in. I discovered it this morning when I was trying to take a bath. It can only draw about that much water
[his fingers show an inch]
King Mantell : and you can't take a bath with that much water
[shows an inch again]
Princess Olga : Vell, if you're a ploomb-er, why don't you fix it?
King Mantell : Well, I'm not a ploomb-er, uh, I mean, a plumber, but I think I could fix it. Have you got a screwdriver?
Lady Gertrude Allwyn : A screwdriver? Her Highness is not in the habit of going around with a screwdriver on her person.
Princess Olga : [to Mantell] Please go avay.
King Mantell : Well, I was only trying to help, but may I suggest that when you want to take a bath, you should take a shower.
[walks away]
King Mantell : Of course, there's always the ocean.
[Exits]
Princess Olga : [dropping her phony Swedish accent] I'd like to smack that guy right in the kisser.
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Princess Olga : You enjoyed the cocktails, didn't you?
Lady Gertrude Allwyn : The first two or three. After the fifth or sixth I was utterly bored.
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Princess Olga : What do you expect me to do? Sit around and twiddle my thumbs?
Lady Gertrude Allwyn : There are plenty of proper gentlemen on board without you drinking cocktails with a concertina squeezer.
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Princess Olga : I had a good time. Who said: uneasy lies the head that wears the crown?
Lady Gertrude Allwyn : You know I was a married woman before I knew that Kings didn't sleep with their crowns on.
Princess Olga : Where do they put them? Under the bed?
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Lady Gertrude Allwyn : Oh my, stars and garters!
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Lady Gertrude Allwyn : Thank heaven this day is over. Such a crowd, my dear. I don't mind people stepping on my feet, but I do object to their loitering there.