- Harry, the Bartender: And to think last week you guys were ordering champagne.
- Frankie: Don't worry! We'll be in the big dough again. A couple of winners and we'll be on Easy Street.
- Harry, the Bartender: Yeah? Sweepin' it.
- Erwin Trowbridge: [after several drinks] That's funny. I'm kinda sorta feeling a little sleepy.
- Patsy: What you need is a little drink to wake you up.
- [to Harry, the bartender]
- Patsy: Harry, scotch for Erwin. He needs a pick-up.
- Harry, the Bartender: He'll need picking up, alright.
- Frankie: [Betting on Irma Kay, a longshot] Ain't she got a chance?
- Gus, a Bookie: Any horse has a chance in a race.
- Frankie: Yeah, that's right.
- Gus, a Bookie: Except Irma Kay. It ain't moved faster than a trot since it was frightened by the first Model T.
- Frankie: I thought you didn't believe in horseracin', Harry?
- Harry, the Bartender: That's before I met Erwin.
- Clarence Dobbins: I know too much about human nature to be fooled. He's the lothario type. You know, the sleek, leering kind!
- Erwin Trowbridge: I'm in a hurry to get to the office.
- Clarence Dobbins: Office, huh? To your life of love is more like it!
- Erwin Trowbridge: I'm very grateful to Mr. Carver for employing me, of course, but not hardly call him that.
- Clarence Dobbins: Stop acting! Do you think I'm a fool?
- Erwin Trowbridge: I'd rather you didn't ask me that, Clarence.
- Clarence Dobbins: I'm not asking you anything; but, I'm going to tell you a thing or two, you chiseler!
- Erwin Trowbridge: You know Clarence always insults me. Why do you invite him over here to do it before breakfast? Particularly, when I've got those Mother's Day greeting cards to write.
- Audrey Trowbridge: Well, I wanted him to talk to you.
- Erwin Trowbridge: I've never had the chance to talk to Clarence in my life. All I do is listen to him.
- Clarence Dobbins: Most people would be satisfied to collect stamps or butterflies. But, not you. Oh, no! You have to have women!
- Erwin Trowbridge: Women?
- Patsy: You can't go to the office like that. You're kinda stiff.
- Erwin Trowbridge: Oh, no! I'm limber enough. In fact, I'm a little too limber. That might be from drinkin' though, mightin' it?
- Harry, the Bartender: Yeah, that might be the explanation.
- Erwin Trowbridge: I gotta go. Mr. Carver will be most annoyed. He employs me.
- Charlie: Erwin! Do you want your boss to see you in that disgusting condition?
- Erwin Trowbridge: Oh, dear. Am I disgusting?
- Patsy: Revolting!
- Erwin Trowbridge: I'm sorry.
- Patsy: Aw, have another drink and forget it. None of us is purfect.
- Charlie: [on the phone] The point is, Erwin was took sick on his way to the office. - Yeah, terrible sick. He's in a drug store now. - Who, me? - Oh, I'm the pharamcis -cis - I'm the - I'm the soda jerk.
- Charlie: He says it's hunky-dory with him, Erwin. And frankly, he says to take care of yourself. And if you didn't feel like comin' in for a couple of days, that'd be jake too!
- Frankie: Where is the joint?
- Erwin Trowbridge: The Holly Cheer Greeting Company, Inc. in the Wedgewood building. Our office is 909.
- Frankie: Oh, I know where it is. I used to know a tomater on the tenth floor.
- Patsy: Listen to this: "Why was it that I chose to roam? Cross land and sea, so far from home. If that be life, my mutter dear, I send this card, of love and cheer. Mutter's Day, number 37." That touches ya, ya know that. Right here.
- Mabel: Yeah. Like seein' a good, sad movie, ain't it. Gee.
- Patsy: You know, this Erwin guy ain't bein' appreciated.
- Frankie: Read it, Patsy!
- Patsy: "At Christmas tide your hair was gray, But memories chased your cares away, Now lovingly in my simple way, I send you love on Mutter's Day. Mutter's Day, number 16."
- Harry, the Bartender: It sort of gets you, don't it.
- Patsy: And he done it just while he was sittin' there.
- Frankie: Weird, ain't it!
- Patsy: "At Christmas tide your hair was gray, But memories chased your cares away." - - That's literature!
- Patsy: Erwin, this is the little woman!
- Erwin Trowbridge: How do you do? Miss...
- Mabel: Just call me Mabel, Erwin. Any friend of Patsy's is a friend of mine.
- Patsy: I've often suspected that.
- Erwin Trowbridge: You fellas might think this is funny, but I'm gonna lose my job. You don't know what it means to have a job: 52 weeks a year, 40 dollars a week.
- Mabel: Let me think! I know I ain't got the brains for it; but, you'd be surprised what I can do with materials at hand.
- Harry, the Bartender: Well, what's the matter with him?
- Mabel: I don't know, but he's the most relaxed son-of-a-gun I ever saw. Maybe we should give him another drink?
- Harry, the Bartender: What do you want to do - embalm him?
- Mabel: You want to see it? You want to see it?
- Erwin Trowbridge: Well, eh, yes.
- Mabel: Say, I'd do anything for you. Cause I'm just *crazy* about poetry! That's why. I got to get limbered up, though. Now, here we go.
- Patsy: Say, what is this?
- Erwin Trowbridge: She's dizzy.
- Mabel: I'm dizzy, Patsy.
- Patsy: You must be to try and double-cross me. Get back to your room before I kick your teeth in!
- Patsy: Just like all them forward guys. A ladykiller, huh?
- Erwin Trowbridge: I assure you I have no lure for the opposite sex. Honest I haven't! Ask anybody. Ask my wife.
- Patsy: If you ever show your face around here again, you'll carry it out between two buns like a hamburger!
- Mabel: I'm surprised at you Patsy, tearin' up poems! Gee, there must be an unrefined streak in you, somewheres.
- Patsy: There you are, pal. I had it made up special.
- [hands Erwin a tie]
- Erwin Trowbridge: I thought perhaps you did. Maybe I better take one of your less expensive ones.
- Patsy: Put it on! Put it on! It tones you up a bit.
- Mabel: Yeah, like a Calliope!
- Moses: Boy! Did I ride home on a cloud of glory!
- Erwin Trowbridge: Get back to your el-e-va-tor!
- Moses: Yessa, Mistah.