- Denny Martin: Say, Mr. Bennett, could I speak to you for a minute? Now you can stop me if you've heard this.
- Cyrus Barrett Jr.: [Happily anticipating] Oh, you've got a new story?
- Denny Martin: No. Oh, no. It's an old story, and you've probably heard it before... but here's how it goes... most scientists agree that one of the few things that can't be preserved in alcohol is a happy home.
- Mary Wilson: [Referring to De Wolfe] Denny, please don't be upset by what he said.
- Denny Martin: Oh, I'm not upset.
- Mary Wilson: Every knock's a boost, you know.
- Denny Martin: [Dejectedly] Yeah, I know.
- Mary Wilson: And it doesn't matter what anyone says about you as long as they spell your name right.
- Denny Martin: [Referring to the baby's safety] Are you daffy? Supposing he fell on his head or something?
- Nicky: That's nothing! I fell on my head twice when I was a baby.
- Denny Martin: [Sarcastically] Yeah? Well once is enough.
- Claudius De Wolfe: And a wiser man than I once said: love is intoxication, marriage the headache, and divorce the spirin tablet.
- [He chuckles]
- Claudius De Wolfe: Mr. Martin, I like singing, but not while I'm dictating.
- Denny Martin: Oh yeah? Well the world'd be a better place if there was more singing and less dictating.