- Crusher McKay: [talking to new man Bilson] Now when I was feeding fire boxes, I kept my ears and eyes wide open, till I made the engine room and got a certificate. Now, what I'm gonna give you ain't from books.
- Gallagher: 'Tis out of a hot air valve.
- [new man Wishart laughs]
- Crusher McKay: [singing to himself 'The Tattooed Lady'] I paid a bob to see, a Scotch tattooed lady. Tattooed from head to knee, she was a sight to see. And over her jaw was a British man-of-war. And upon her back was a Union Jack, could anyone ask for more? And up and down her spine, with the royal horse guards in line...
- Crusher McKay: [reading from the ship's newsletter] Well, here's the news. "The Perseus Tea was a signal success. Entertainment honors goes to Mr. Jeff Billings, whose collection of Chinese toys and puzzles are the wonder of passengers and crew."
- [the crew react]
- Crusher McKay: "Lady Precious Dream, Mrs. Brackethale's blue ribbon Pekingese, is at present under the expert care of Nurse Ann Grayson, due to a mild case of laryngitis." Lucky dog!
- [laughs]
- Wishart: Aw, those people ain't worth freightin'... the rotten fluffs. They ain't worth killin' ourselves to make time for.
- Crusher McKay: We ain't doing it for them. We're doin' it 'cause, uh... because... We're carryin' cargo, ain't we?
- Wishart: Embroideries and *tea.* It's a cryin' shame, I suppose, if there's a shortage of tiffin and doilies.
- Doctor Craig: [to McKay] Say, listen. I don't give a hang what happens to you... but there's a rumor on this boat that you're a very essential nuisance.
- Doctor Craig: One of these days you're going to splatter like a ripe tomato. I'm telling you. You're going get a haircut that's going to make Samson's look bushy.
- Crusher McKay: That guy was bald. He used to work for me.
- Crusher McKay: You're like a breath of...
- Ann Grayson: Formaldehyde.
- Crusher McKay: Uh, I was gonna say Wurzburger.
- Ann Grayson: [chuckles] You're still very lyrical, Mr. McKay.
- Doctor Craig: [to Ann, while seeing McKay after McKay has recovered from cholera] I always thought he needed a nurse. Humor him, but don't let him kid you he's any tin god because he isn't. He's a - - he's just a stale old man with low blood pressure.
- Crusher McKay: [furious, McKay sits up from bed] Why, you pit brain! You backwards son of a scrubber flea. Why, I've had hangovers worse than this! You think you pulled me through it, you high-scuffing little barrel of bilge. Why, me and Annie did this, so that I could tell you what a scurvy, thistle-riggin', invisible peewee you are! Why, you dirty little - - why, why you're, you're the sty on the eye of a flea on the fly of a n-nit on the neck of a gnat! Why, if I could find words to express, I'd -...
- Ann Grayson: [laughing] Yes, yes, that's enough poetry, McKay.