- Macaulay Connor: Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven. Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Shall we toss a coin?
- Librarian: What is thee wish?
- Macaulay Connor: I'm looking for some local b - what'd you say?
- Librarian: What is thee wish?
- Macaulay Connor: Um, local biography or history.
- Librarian: If thee will consult with my colleague in there.
- Macaulay Connor: Mm-hm. Dost thou have a washroom?
- [the librarian points]
- Macaulay Connor: Thank thee.
- Uncle Willie: [hung over] Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent lying in bed.
- [Dexter has just proposed]
- Tracy Lord: Dexter, are you sure?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Not the least, but I'll risk it. Will you?
- Tracy Lord: You bet! You didn't do it just to soften the blow?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: No, Tracy.
- Tracy Lord: Nor save my face?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Oh, it's a nice little face.
- Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter, I'll be yar now. I'll promise to be yar.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Be whatever you like, you're my redhead.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Sometimes, for your own sake, Red, I think you should've stuck to me longer.
- Tracy Lord: I thought it was for life, but the nice judge gave me a full pardon.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Aaah, that's the old redhead. No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw.
- George Kittredge: But a man expects his wife to...
- Tracy Lord: Behave herself. Naturally.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: To behave herself naturally.
- [George gives him a look]
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Sorry.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: You'll never be a first-class human being or a first-class woman until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: What's this room? I've forgotten my compass.
- Macaulay Connor: I'd say, south-by-southwest parlor-by-living-room.
- Macaulay Connor: This is the Bridal Suite. Would you send up a couple of caviar sandwiches and a bottle of beer?
- Margaret Lord: What? Who is this?
- Macaulay Connor: This is the Voice of Doom calling. Your days are numbered, to the seventh son of the seventh son.
- Margaret Lord: Hello? Hello?
- Tracy Lord: What's the matter?
- Margaret Lord: One of the servants has been at the sherry again.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: Oh it's all right, Tracy. We all go haywire at times and if we don't, maybe we ought to.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Orange juice, certainly.
- Tracy Lord: Don't tell me you've forsaken your beloved whisky and whiskies?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: No-no-no-no. I've just changed their color, that's all. I'm going for the pale pastel shades now. They're more becoming of me. How about you, Mr. Connor? You drink, don't you - alcohol, I mean?
- Macaulay Connor: Oh, a little.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: [amused] A little? And you a writer? Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know, at one time I think I secretly wanted to be a writer.
- [he and Tracy exchange scornful looks]
- Macaulay Connor: [calling outside his house] C.K. Dexter Haven! Oh, C.K. Dexter Haven!
- C. K. Dexter Haven: [coming to the door in his pajamas] What's up?
- Macaulay Connor: You are.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: I only hope it's worth it. Come in.
- Macaulay Connor: You've got all the arrogance of your class, haven't you?
- Tracy Lord: What have classes to do with it? What do they matter except for the people in them? George comes from the so-called lower class, Dexter, the upper. Well?
- Macaulay Connor: Well...
- Tracy Lord: Mac the night watchman is a prince among men, Uncle Willie is a... pincher. Upper and lower my eye. I'll take the lower, thanks.
- Macaulay Connor: If you can't get a drawing room.
- Tracy Lord: What does that mean?
- Macaulay Connor: My mistake.
- Tracy Lord: Decidedly. You're insulting!
- Macaulay Connor: Sorry.
- Tracy Lord: Oh, don't apologize!
- Macaulay Connor: Well, who's apologizing?
- Tracy Lord: I never knew such a man.
- Macaulay Connor: You wouldn't be likely to, from where you sit!
- Tracy Lord: Talk about arrogance.
- Macaulay Connor: Tracy.
- Tracy Lord: What do you want?
- Macaulay Connor: [pause] You're wonderful.
- Macaulay Connor: [speaking of Tracy] What are her leading characteristics?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: She has a horror of men who wear their hats in the house.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: Leading characteristics to be filled in later.
- Macaulay Connor: I can fill them in right now: the rich, rapacious, American female. There's no other country where she exists.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: And would I change places with Tracy Samantha Lord for all her wealth and beauty? Oh boy just ask me.
- Margaret Lord: Oh, dear. Is there no such thing as privacy any more?
- Tracy Lord: Only in bed, mother, and not always there.
- [Mike discovers the intercom in the Lords' house]
- Macaulay Connor: Uh-oh, Liz, what did I tell you? Look, how do you like this - living room, sitting room, terrace, pool, stables.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: That's probably so they can talk to the horses without having them in the house.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: We've come for the body of Macaulay Connor.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm so glad you came. Can you use a typewriter?
- Elizabeth Imbrie: No, thanks, I've got one at home.
- George Kittredge: [to horse] What's the matter, Bessie? You seem worried.
- Dinah Lord: Maybe that's because his name is Jack.
- Seth Lord: What most wives fail to realize is that their husband's philandering has nothing whatever to do with them.
- Tracy Lord: Oh? Then what has it to do with?
- Seth Lord: A reluctance to go grow old, I think.
- Macaulay Connor: Tracy.
- Tracy Lord: What do you want?
- Macaulay Connor: You're wonderful. There's a magnificence in you, Tracy.
- Tracy Lord: Now I'm getting self-conscious. It's funny. I - Mike? Let's...
- Macaulay Connor: Yeah?
- Tracy Lord: I don't know - go up, I guess, it's late.
- Macaulay Connor: A magnificence that comes out of your eyes, in your voice, in the way you stand there, in the way you walk. You're lit from within, Tracy. You've got fires banked down in you, hearth-fires and holocausts.
- Tracy Lord: I don't seem to you made of bronze?
- Macaulay Connor: No, you're made out of flesh and blood. That's the blank, unholy surprise of it. You're the golden girl, Tracy. Full of life and warmth and delight. What goes on? You've got tears in your eyes.
- Tracy Lord: Shut up, shut up. Oh, Mike. Keep talking, keep talking. Talk, will you?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?
- Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.
- Margaret Lord: We both might face the facts that neither of us has proved to be a very great success as a wife.
- Tracy Lord: We just picked the wrong first husband.
- George Kittredge: You're like some marvelous, distant, well, queen, I guess. You're so cool and fine and always so much your own. There's a kind of beautiful purity about you, Tracy, like, like a statue.
- Tracy Lord: George...
- George Kittredge: Oh, it's grand, Tracy. It's what everybody feels about you. It's what I first worshipped you for from afar.
- Tracy Lord: I don't want to be worshipped. I want to be loved.
- Tracy Lord: These stories are beautiful. Why, Mike, they're almost poetry.
- Macaulay Connor: Don't kid yourself. They are.
- Macaulay Connor: [drunk, to driver] Well, this is where Cinderella gets off, now you hurry back to the ball before you turn into a pumpkin and six white mice. Goodbye.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.
- Macaulay Connor: Well you'll do!
- Macaulay Connor: What's this? Is it my book?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes.
- Macaulay Connor: C. K. Dexter Haven, you have unsuspected depth!
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Thanks, old chap.
- Macaulay Connor: But have you read it?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: When I was trying to stop drinking, I read anything.
- Macaulay Connor: And did you stop drinking?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes. Your book didn't do it, though.
- Macaulay Connor: C.K. Dexter Haven! What a name tag!
- Elizabeth Imbrie: Macauly Connor is no homespun tag either, my pet.
- Macaulay Connor: Yeah, well you just try calling him Macauly!
- Elizabeth Imbrie: I knew a plain Joe Smith once. Worst rat I ever met.
- Tracy Lord: How do I look?
- Seth Lord: Like a queen. Like a goddess.
- Tracy Lord: And do you know how I feel?
- Seth Lord: How?
- Tracy Lord: Like a human. Like a human being.
- George Kittredge: [walks in on Tracy and Dexter together] Well, I suppose I should object to this twosome.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: That would be most objectionable.
- Macaulay Connor: Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's heavy mist before my eyes.
- Tracy Lord: Dexter, say something.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, I...
- Tracy Lord: Oh, Dexter, I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, that's no good. That's not even conversation.
- Sidney Kidd: You hate me, I trust, Miss Imbrie.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: No, I-I can't afford to hate anybody. I'm only a photographer.
- Tracy Lord: [normal voice] Hello, Dexter.
- [lower voice]
- Tracy Lord: Hello, George.
- [high childish voice]
- Tracy Lord: Hello, Mike.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: I remember your honeymoon quite well. You and she on a little sail boat, the "True Love," wasn't it?
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes, it was. How did you know?
- Elizabeth Imbrie: I was the only photographer whose camera you didn't smash. You were terribly nice about it. You threw it in the ocean.
- Macaulay Connor: Oh, one of those.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes, I had the strange notion that our honeymoon was our own.
- Elizabeth Imbrie: There's a cousin, Joanna, who's definitely crazy.
- Macaulay Connor: Who told you that?
- Elizabeth Imbrie: Dinah.
- Macaulay Connor: Well, Dinah would know.
- Macaulay Connor: The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Of course, Mr. Connor, she's a girl who is generous to a fault.
- Tracy Lord: To a fault.
- C. K. Dexter Haven: Except to other people's faults.