- Samuel Z. Cutter: The cleanest street in this town ain't half as good as the dirtiest alley in Philadelphia.
- Dr. Leonard Gillespie: When I was a young doctor the gals used to go for me in a big way.
- Nurse Molly Byrd: Sure but during the Civil War, most of the attractive men were at the front so the girls didn't have much choice.
- Dr. Leonard Gillespie: Well, what's the big secret, Helen? You don't mean to tell me you're all well and want to go home?
- Helen: No, but I eat all my carrots and it didn't make my hair a bit curly. Dr. Gillespie, I'm afraid you're an awful liar.
- Nurse Parker: [talking on the phone] No, sir, Dr. Gillespie left here 5 minutes ago. All he said was, "Parker, I'm a little pearl going out to look for an oyster."