I Love Lucy (1951–1957)
Vivian Vance: Ethel Mertz
Photos
Quotes
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Lucy Ricardo : How much do you want to bet?
Fred Mertz : Ten dollars.
Ethel Mertz : Well what's the matter with twenty dollars?
Ricky Ricardo : What's the matter with thirty dollars?
Lucy Ricardo : What's the matter with fifty dollars?
Fred Mertz : What was the matter with ten dollars?
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Lucy Ricardo : Hey, Ethel. Guess what Ricky got me!
Ethel Mertz : Um... let's see. A hat? A new dress?
Lucy Ricardo : Oh Ethel better! Think about what every woman wants from her husband!
Ethel Mertz : A divorce?
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Ethel Mertz : Gee, this high altitude sure gives me an appetite.
Fred Mertz : What's your excuse at sea level?
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Ricky Ricardo : I don't like that tone. You are thinking again.
Lucy Ricardo : There's no law about me going to Romanov's. Perhaps maybe stopping by your table and...
Ricky Ricardo : Lucy, if I so much as see your face at Romanov's, I'm gonna wrap you up in brown paper and mail you back to New York. And that's an ultimatum.
Ethel Mertz : An ultimatum? I'm not surprised.
Lucy Ricardo : I am. I didn't think he knew how to pronounce it.
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Ethel Mertz : There's lots of things you're good at.
Lucy Ricardo : Like what?
Ethel Mertz : Well, you're awfully good at... uh... You've always been great at...
Lucy Ricardo : Those are the same ones Ricky came up with.
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Ethel Mertz : Fred, I'm sorry I said you were a dumb bunny.
Fred Mertz : And I'm sorry you're so fat you sat on my glasses and broke'em.
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Ethel Mertz : I refuse to go anywhere with someone who thinks I am a hippopotamus.
Ricky Ricardo : Lucy, is this true?
Lucy Ricardo : No, I just implied that she was a little hippy... though she has got the biggest potamus I've ever seen.
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Lucy Ricardo : If some other woman were to take Fred away from you, you'd be singing a different tune, too.
Ethel Mertz : Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again".
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[while watching Lucy and Ricky kiss]
Ethel Mertz : Isn't that sweet? Just like two lovebirds.
Fred Mertz : What are you, a bird watcher?
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Ethel Mertz : What are you writing about?
Lucy Ricardo : I'm writing about things I know.
Ethel Mertz : That won't be a novel that will be a short story
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Ethel Mertz : All Fred's taste is in his mouth.
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Lucy Ricardo : How would you feel if Fred was smoldering with jealousy?
Ethel Mertz : Fred wouldn't smolder if he banged into a blowtorch.
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Ethel Mertz : Rome wasn't built in a day.
Fred Mertz : Well, Rome wasn't built like you either.
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Ethel Mertz : Where you afraid you'd lose me?
Fred Mertz : I'll say, that outfit you're wearing is rented.
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Ethel Mertz : If I let my hair go like that you'd never let me hear the end of it.
Fred Mertz : Honeybunch, if the rest of you looked like that I wouldn't care if you were bald.
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Ethel Mertz : Let's let Ms. Trumble get a load of us.
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Ethel Mertz : [does not believe that Lucy got her black eye when Ricky accidentally tossed her a book with poor aim, and suspects abuse instead] This is Ethel, your friend, to whom you may turn in time of crisis.
Lucy Ricardo : Ethel, have you been drinking?
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Ricky Ricardo : Fred, how often is Ethel's checking account overdrawn?
Fred Mertz : Never.
Ricky Ricardo : Never? How do you manage that?
Ethel Mertz : It's easy. I never had enough money at one time to open a checking account.
Fred Mertz : She spends money like I'm printing it in the basement!
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Fred Mertz : [says Little Ricky can't keep a dog in the apartment] That pooch has got to go!
Little Ricky : [walks in] Mommy! I thought of a name for my dog.
Lucy Ricardo : Oh?
Little Ricky : His name is Fred.
Lucy Ricardo : Fred? Well how did you ever come up with that?
Little Ricky : I always name my pets after people I like!
Ethel Mertz : [Fred turns to leave] Fred? Where are you going?
Fred Mertz : Down to the basement to get the box!
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Ethel Mertz : Oh, Lucy, I know you're not going to move, but if you ever do move, don't move.
