The Beverly Hillbillies (1962–1971)
Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett
Photos
Quotes
-
Granny : Elly May done popped the buttons off her shirt again.
Jed Clampett : Elly May carries herself proud with her shoulders throwed back.
Granny : It ain't her shoulders that have been poppin' these buttons.
-
[repeated line]
Jed Clampett : Well doggies!
-
Jethro : [Jed and Jehtro are discussing a "fast" girl back in the hills] Uncle Jed, she handed me a big old sugar cookie, looked at me and said, "Jehtro, if you had a choice between that cookie and me, which one would you take". Uncle Jed, that's when I found out just how fast she was!
[Jed leans in close to hear the rest of the story]
Jethro : I had to run nearly a mile to get away from her with that cookie!
Jed Clampett : [Disgusted] Jethro, some day me and you got to have a long talk.
-
Jed Clampett : Boy, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to clean up all this mess.
Jethro : Aw come on, Uncle Jed. I'm gonna clean up. I'm gonna set this world on fire!
Jed Clampett : You're gonna clean up alright. Everything. Or you're gonna end up with the seat of your britches on fire.
-
Jed Clampett : [Jethro has decided that he'd like to become a Bullfighter, and has asked Jed if they can get a bull, so he can practice. Jed presents the idea to Granny] Granny, I got a idea. Let's get us a bull.
Granny : What?
Jed Clampett : Now, hear me out. We been wantin' to have a good ol' fashioned barbecue.
Granny : But, Jethro'll go to fightin' it!
Jed Clampett : Not for long. 'Pears to me they ain't nothin' a man can get his fill of, faster, than scrappin' with a bull.
Granny : Ain'tcha afraid he'll git hurt?
Jed Clampett : Nahh. A good stout bull can take care o' hisself.
Granny : Well, if there's one thing Jethro'd like better than fightin' it, it'd be eatin' it!
Jed Clampett : This way, he can do both!
-
Widow Fenwick : [buxom elderly millionaress who wants Jed to come in with her as a business partner on a real estate development venture she calls Honeymoon Lane] I need a partner who will come into Honeymoon Lane with me. I have the license, and I have the heavy equipment.
Jed Clampett : Well, ma'am, them's the kinda things a man likes to find out fer himself.
-
Jed Clampett : [bounces a golf ball on the kitchen table, thinking it's a "golf egg"] Strictly speakin', I don't think these are fresh laid.
-
Jed Clampett : [to an obviously revolted Mr. Drysdale] That's the thing about salted down possum, it's just as good the second day.
-
Jed Clampett : When Mrs. Drysdale gets home she's gonna call the PO-lice!
Jethro : No she won't. I gnawed the stump so it'd look like a BEAVER done it!
