The Nutty Professor (1963)
Buddy Lester: Bartender
Quotes
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Purple Pit Bartender : What'll it be?
Buddy Love : Aww... That's no way to talk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. "What'll it be?" That's no way to treat a customer. C'mere. Try it like this. Pay attention. You'll feel better and the customers'll be happier. Try this: "What'll it be? Hmmm?" Try that. Come on. We haven't got all night. Try it.
Purple Pit Bartender : What'll it be? Hmmm?
Buddy Love : Good! That was wonderful. Did anyone ever tell you you couldn't sing?
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Buddy Love : All right, let's continue. A shot of vermouth.
Purple Pit Bartender : [continues mixing the drink] A shot of vermouth...
Buddy Love : A shot of gin.
Purple Pit Bartender : A little gin...
Buddy Love : A little brandy.
Purple Pit Bartender : A little brandy...
Buddy Love : Lemon peel.
Purple Pit Bartender : A lemon peel...
Buddy Love : Orange peel.
Purple Pit Bartender : Some orange peel...
Buddy Love : Sherry.
[Bartender look at Buddy in shock]
Buddy Love : Some more scotch.
Purple Pit Bartender : Some more scotch.
Buddy Love : Now mix it nice and pour it into a tall glass.
[the bartender shakes up Buddy's drink, then places the tall glass by him]
Purple Pit Bartender : Hey, I've never tried one of these. Do you mind if I take a sip?
Buddy Love : No, go right ahead.
Purple Pit Bartender : [Bartender pours a small helping in a small glass, then sips it] Not bad.
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Purple Pit Bartender : [Arrives with several bottles of spirits; to Buddy] Did you say a Polar Bear Heater?
Buddy Love : No, YOU said it! I said an Alaskan Polar Bear Heater.
Purple Pit Bartender : I never heard of that.
Buddy Love : Until now.
Purple Pit Bartender : [mumbles] Until now.
Buddy Love : All right, pay attention. Two shots of vodka.
Purple Pit Bartender : [starts mixing the drink] Two shots of vodka...
Buddy Love : A little rum.
Purple Pit Bartender : A little rum...
Buddy Love : Some bitters...
Purple Pit Bartender : Some bitters...
Buddy Love : And a smidgen of vinegar.
Purple Pit Bartender : [grabs the vinegar] A smidgen of... Are you gonna drink this here or you're gonna take it home and rub it on your chest?
Buddy Love : Hey, that was terrific! Hey, did ya hear that, folks? A regular George Bernard Shaw. Good boy! And he did it all by himself. You did all by yourself and nobody helped you. That's terrific...
[insulted and angry]
Buddy Love : and with your very own big mouth! Now if you don't want this cocktail shaker to be a part of your gums, mix the drink, shut your mouth and pay attention. Is that clear? Repeat after me. I'll...
Purple Pit Bartender : I'll...
Buddy Love : I'll pay...
Purple Pit Bartender : I'll pay...
Buddy Love : I'll pay attention.
Purple Pit Bartender : I'll pay attention.