A Shot in the Dark (1964)

Herbert Lom: Charles Dreyfus

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dreyfus : Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.

• [first lines] 

  Dreyfus : [answers phone]  Commissioner Dreyfus... Ah, yes, my darling... I was just about to call you. I'm on my way. I've got the cheese and the beaujolais... What?

  [laughs] 

  Dreyfus : ... My love. Kiss the children for me, hmm?

  [intercom buzzes] 

  Dreyfus : Hold on.

  [covers phone mouthpiece; answers intercom] 

  Dreyfus : Yes?

  intercom : Your wife is on the other line.

  Dreyfus : Tell her I'm out of town.

• Dreyfus : If someone has been murdered here, please let it be Clouseau.

• Clouseau : There is something... personal... in this?

  Dreyfus : Yes, deeply personal. I hate you! Every little bit of you! Now get out!

  Clouseau : You want me to leave?

• Françios : I made a terrible mistake.

  Dreyfus : Who did you assign to the case?

  Françios : Clouseau.

  Dreyfus : Oh, my God.

• Dreyfus : [chuckles and whimpers]  He released her again, and he's taking her out to dinner to dinner. Every paper in Paris has the story, including the Christian Science Monitor, and he gave them the story! You see, he claims she's protecting her lover, and the best way to force him into the open is to make him jealous. Jealous! That nincompoop! That megalomaniac! He's setting the science of criminal investigation back a thousand years, and I can't do anything about it!

  The Psycho-Analyst : Why not?

  Dreyfus : Why not? What if he's right?

• Dreyfus : [crosses arms, letter opener in hand]  François?

  Françios : Yes, commissioner?

  Dreyfus : Would you please call for a doctor?

  Françios : [puts on his glasses]  Are you ill?

  Dreyfus : I seem to have stabbed myself with a letter opener.

• Dreyfus : This case is already so full of cracks I guess one more wouldn't make any difference.

  [tosses cigar aside, takes a new cigar and carelessly uses the cigar guillotine] 

  Dreyfus : François?

  Françios : [off screen]  Yes, commissioner?

  Dreyfus : I just cut off my thumb.

• Dreyfus : [a car bomb has just killed the killers. Dreyfus refers to four other killings]  A doorman, two customers, and a Cossack! And now six more innocent people!

  Clouseau : They were all murderers, except Maurice, who was a blackmailer, Commissioner!

  Dreyfus : [whimpering]  Compared with you they were all saints!

• Dreyfus : What about the maid?

  Clouseau : The maid?

  Dreyfus : Was he jealous of her too? He strangled her.

  Clouseau : It is possible that his intended victim was a man and that he made a mistake.

  Dreyfus : A mistake?... in a nudist camp?

  Clouseau : Nobody's perfect.

  Dreyfus : Idiot nincompoop lunatic!

• Clouseau : Well... that just goes to prove what I have said all along.

  Dreyfus : What you've said, Clouseau, qualifies you as the greatest prophet since Custer said he was going to surround all those Indians!

• Dreyfus : A trail of death follows Inspector Clouseau. Four people. A doorman, two customers, and a Cossack!

  Clouseau : Most regrettable.

• Clouseau : Those were innocent bystanders. The murderer was after me. Fortunately, he missed.

  Dreyfus : Fortunately is *not* the word!