Performance (1970)

James Fox: Chas

Photos 

40 more photos

Quotes 

• Chas : I need a bohemian atmosphere! I'm an artist, Mr. Turner. Like yourself.

  Turner : You - juggle.

• Chas : [to Mick Jagger]  You're a comical little geezer. You'll look funny when you're fifty.

• Pherber : I don't recognize your voice.

  Chas : Well, I've been away, haven't I?

  Pherber : And I don't recognize your face.

  Chas : You should see my motor.

  Pherber : [looks at Chas quizzically] 

  Chas : My motor. Had an argument with a cement wall on the way over. Goodbye the Ferrari.

• Chas : [on the phone]  What a freak show.

  Tony Farrell : Well, where are you then?

  Chas : Oh, you know, on the left.

  Tony Farrell : Oh, yeah. Yeah.

  Chas : It's a right piss-hole. Long hair. Beatniks. Druggers. Free love. Foreigners, You name it.

• Pherber : How do you think Turner feels like, huh?

  Chas : I don't know. He's weird. And you're weird. You're kinky!

  Pherber : He's a man! Male and female man! And he feels like me.

  Chas : No! No he doesn't!

• Chas : There's nothing wrong with me! I'm normal!

  Pherber : [laughs] 

• [Chas flicks his cigarette ash onto a rug] 

  Turner : That rug's over two hundred years old.

  Chas : Yeah, it looks it.

• Chas : I am a bullet.

• Chas : Can I use the blower up here.

  Turner : We haven't got a blower up here.

  Pherber : Huh! What in God's name has he done to his hair?

  Turner : He's blown it.

  Chas : Yeah, well, that's it dear. I got to ring my agent again.

  Turner : I fancy the red.

  Chas : No. No. The red was dye.

  Turner : Dead.

  Chas : Dyed. Red.

  Pherber : Dyed it? Dead!

  Chas : Red! Red!

  Turner : Van Gogh, eh?

• Chas : Tomorrow. Tomorrow he learns what's true and what's not.

• Pherber : Do you like my physique?

  Chas : Yeah. It's in - good condition.

• Pherber : Did you never have a female feel?

  Chas : No! Never! I feel like a man! A man - all the time.

  Pherber : That's awful. That's what's wrong with you, isn't it?

  Chas : What do you mean?

  Pherber : A man's man's world.

• Pherber : He's stuck! Stuck!

  Chas : Why?

  Pherber : Why? Because he's lost his demons, that's why. Yeah, he thought he had it under control. Juggling all those balls - millions of them. Until one day he was looking at his favorite mirror, admiring his image, see. And when suddenly he saw, a little clearly, it was just a beautiful, little, freaky, stripy, beast, darling. So, he thought, maybe, maybe its time for a change, he thought. Then, immediately, as he watched, the image faded. His demon had abandoned him! Pluff! He was gone! He's still tryin' to figure out whether he wants it back.

• Chas : America's a blinding place for nightlife.

• The Lawyer : Now, look here, I'm Mr. Fraser's Counsel and I warn you...

  Chas : I know that. Now, shut your hole, Mr. Counsel!

• Chas : I said shut your bloody hole!

• Chas : Personally, I just - you know - perform.

• Chas : Why don't you - play us a tune, pal?

  Turner : I don't like music.

  Chas : Comical little geezer. You'll look funny when your fifty.

• Lorraine : He was very famous. When I was little he was a chartbuster.

  Chas : They come and they go. Pop stars. He had a following. I never fancied his stuff myself.

• Chas : No. No. This is the normal.

  Turner : Normal?

  Chas : Yeah. I was just havin' a laugh. Havin' a laugh, you see, with my act. With my image. You know what I mean?

  Turner : Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

  Chas : I thought you would. Eh, he reckons, my agent, that, time for a change.

  Turner : It was time for a change.

• Chas : Was it sixty-seven?

  Pherber : Sixty-six!

  Turner : Sixty-nine!

• Turner : [singing]  Woke up this morning, somebody knockin' on my door, Woke up this morning, I said, "Hello, Satan. I believe it's time to go".

  [talking] 

  Turner : We push the buttons. He's the horror show. He's an old pro. He can take it. He takes it! He dishes it out too! Bet your sweet fucking life he does. He's a mean bastard.

  Chas : I'm the Lone Ranger.

• Lucy : Tu bien?

  Chas : French, eh?

  Lucy : Yes. I'm French.

  Chas : You're a funny little frog.

• Chas : He likes foreign birds, that Turner.

• Pherber : He wants to know why your show is a bigger turn-on than his ever was!

  Chas : How should I know?

• Chas : You stinking foreign parasite!

• Chas : He's a lyin' slag! He's a grass and you know it and I know it!

• Chas : Lovely, Harry, I'll learn him.

• Turner : There's been a mistake. You can't have the room.

  Chas : What?

  Turner : It's not for rent.

  Chas : What a minute. The lady's just said...

  Turner : The Lady said? I don't tell her everything. She's just my secretary. I've got a lot of work to do. I'm under a lot of pressure.

• Turner : If you were me, what would you do?

  Chas : I don't know. It depends. It depends who you are. So, I don't know.

  Turner : Who I am? Do you know who you are?

• Chas : Is that why he's got a secretary?

  Lorraine : Huh?

  Chas : That foreign bird, you know, not the skinny one, the other one.

  Lorraine : Pherber?

  [laughs] 

  Lorraine : Pherber's his lover, mate. She cohabits him. She is, in deed. Their love story's famous!

• Chas : I never wear hats.

  Turner : Not even when performing?

  Chas : Never. No.

• Turner : Time for your new image. It's totally different.

  Pherber : Now we're getting somewhere!

  Chas : America's a blindin' place.