Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971)

Ian Weighill: Charlie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Colonel Heller : No, Fraulein, this is not the invasion, just a little exercise. A minor raid to induce panic and spread a little mischief. When you English get it through your head that the German forces can land at will whenever and wherever we please, perhaps you will consider reasonable peace.

  Charlie Rawlins : [angrily]  Not bloody likely!

• [during the soccer match] 

  Charlie Rawlins : Foul! Foul!

  Carrie Rawlins : They're only animals.

  Charlie Rawlins : That's no excuse for dirty football.

• Charlie Rawlins : [reading a container, disgustedly]  Poisoned Dragon's Liver?

  Eglentine Price : [repeating matter-of-factly]  Poisoned Dragon Liver.

  Paul Rawlins : You mean you poison the dragon, or just the liver?

• [Miss Price and the Bookman have both halves of The Spells of Astoroth] 

  Bookman : I assume you're looking for the same thing I am.

  [holds out his right hand] 

  Bookman : May I?

  [they exchange halves] 

  Bookman : This is... quite a moment for both of us.

  [flips through the pages] 

  Bookman : "Substitutiary Locomotion, the lost... miracle of the ancients." And so on and so forth. Ah! Here we are! "The spell which creates this force is five mystic words. These words are--"

  [turns the last page] 

  Miss Eglantine Price : "Engraved... on the star that was always worn by the sorcerer Astoroth."

  Bookman : But where are the words of the spell? I assumed they'd be in *your* half of the manuscript!

  Miss Eglantine Price : But I thought they'd be in *yours*!

  Bookman : Once again, a dead end.

  [slumps back to his desk] 

  Bookman : I shall never know the secret.

  [sinks down into his chair] 

  Professor Emelius Browne : [points at a picture in the book]  Isn't that old Astoroth? And there's his star. It's a pity it's so small you can't read the writing.

  Miss Eglantine Price : But why the animals?

  Bookman : Towards the end of his life, Astoroth kept animals in cages and searched for the spells that would make them more like humans. The legend is that finally the animals rebelled at the experiment, killed Astoroth and stole many of his powers.

  Miss Eglantine Price : Including the star with the spell on it.

  Bookman : Possibly. They found a ship, sailed away and were never heard of again. However, there's a final notation in my half of the book saying that in the seventeenth century, a shipwrecked lascar was taken from the sea, half mad with thirst and exposure to the sun. Before he died, he *swore* he had seen an island ruled by animals.

  Miss Eglantine Price : [intrigued]  Where?

  Bookman : [shrugs]  There is, I regret to say, no such island. I looked for it on every chart. The Isle of Naboombu does not exist.

  Paul Rawlins : Oy, does too! Got me own--

  [Charlie clamps his right hand over Paul's mouth, making his words come out muffled] 

  Bookman : What is he trying to say?

  Charles "Charlie" Rawlins : Nothing. When he don't say nothing, he burbles.

  Bookman : [points at Paul]  I wish the child to speak!

  Charles "Charlie" Rawlins : [removes his hand from Paul's mouth]  Now you've done it.

• Charlie Rawlins : Hurt your foot, Miss Price?

  Miss Price : Oh, just twisted my ankle.

  Charlie Rawlins : Sorry to hear that.

  Miss Price : Thank you. It's nothing serious.

  Charlie Rawlins : Lovely weather for flying last night.

  [heavy pause] 

  Miss Price : Why did you say that, Charles?

  Charlie Rawlins : [bringing out her broken broomstick]  Game's up, Miss Price. We know what you are.

  Miss Price : I see.

  [she looks worriedly at Charles] 

  Charlie Rawlins : Don't worry, Miss Price. No one's gonna peach on you.

• Eglentine Price : [singing]  When you rush around in hopeless circles, searching everywhere for something true, you're at the age of not believing, when all the make-believe is through.

  Carrie Rawlins : [speaking]  That's Charlie, to a 'T'.

  Eglentine Price : [still singing]  When you set aside your childhood heroes, and your dreams are lost upon a shelf, you're at the age of not believing, and worst of all you doubt yourself.

  [speaking; about an apple core] 

  Eglentine Price : Throw that into the waste basket.

  [singing] 

  Eglentine Price : You're a castaway where no one hears you, on a barren isle in a lonely sea.

  Charlie Rawlins : [speaking]  What's that supposed to be, poetry?

  Eglentine Price : [still singing]  Where did all the happy endings go? Where can all the good times be?

  [speaking] 

  Eglentine Price : Everyone on the bed who's going.

  [singing] 

  Eglentine Price : You must face the age of not believing, doubting everything you ever knew. Until at last, you start believing there's something wonderful in you!

• Charlie Rawlins : No fried foods?

  Eglentine Price : No.

  Charlie Rawlins : How d'you keep your health?

• Charlie Rawlins : Ref, are you blind?

  Miss Price : Be quiet, Charles. Don't forget who the referee is.

• Paul Rawlins : What is it? A toy shop?

  Carrie Rawlins : No, it's a nursery. Ain't you ever seen a nursery?

  Charlie Rawlins : No and neither 'ave you!

• Charlie Rawlins : That Mrs. Hobday seemed to fancy you.

  Mr. Browne : Shhh. I consider her a very dangerous person.

  Charlie Rawlins : What, Her?

  Mr. Browne : Mrs. Hobday is the most dangerous of species - a matchmaker.

• [Miss Price sits in her armchair as she opens a letter and reads it] 

  Professor Emelius Browne : [voice-over]  Dear Madame, it *grieves* me to inform you that due to the war, we have been forced to close down our college of witchcraft. This means that we shall not be sending you the final lesson in which you expressed so much interest.

  [Miss Price blinks sadly; Carrie, Charlie and Paul stand by on the stairs] 

  Carrie Rawlins : We were wondering what was keeping you.

  Miss Eglantine Price : I've had some very bad news.

  Carrie Rawlins : Is there anything we can do?

  Miss Eglantine Price : [takes off her glasses]  No. No, thank you.

  [her eyes widen as she rises up from her armchair] 

  Miss Eglantine Price : Yes. Yes, there *is* something that *Paul* can do.

  Paul Rawlins : Me?

  Miss Eglantine Price : Paul, I need the bedknob back. I must get to London immediately.

  Paul Rawlins : No! I want to go to the jungle.

  Miss Eglantine Price : Oh, I know, but...

  Charles "Charlie" Rawlins : Wait a moment.

  [approaches Miss Price] 

  Charles "Charlie" Rawlins : I'll handle this.

  Carrie Rawlins : Charlie, be careful.

  Charles "Charlie" Rawlins : What you're saying, Miss Price, is you now wish to take the object, which you gave to an innocent child, and get him mixed up in some kind of witch's hanky-panky?

  Miss Eglantine Price : Well, yes, in a way, but...

  Charles "Charlie" Rawlins : Well, a few odd shillings might fix matters up, as you might say.

  [rubs his fingers together] 

  Miss Eglantine Price : No, Charles. Money has got nothing to do with it, and, as a matter of fact, neither have you. Come with me, Paul.

  [Paul follows her to the armchair; she sits down] 

  Miss Eglantine Price : Now, Paul, ridiculous as it may seem to have to explain this to a six-year-old child, but I *do* need your help.

  Paul Rawlins : Go ahead.

  Miss Eglantine Price : I was expecting a *very* important spell in the mail from my teacher, Professor Emelius Browne, and it hasn't come.

  Paul Rawlins : What's that got to do with my knob?

  Miss Eglantine Price : I must go to London immediately and see Professor Browne. With his help, we may be able to bring this war to a successful end. That is why I need the knob. What is your decision?

  [Paul looks down at the knob, then turns to Charlie, who shakes his head; Paul hands the knob over to Miss Price] 

  Miss Eglantine Price : Thank you, Paul.

• Carrie Rawlins : Why do you keep the curtains closed?

  Professor Emelius Browne : So that we may enjoy the gentle glow of candlelight.

  Charles "Charlie" Rawlins : More likely so's the coppers don't peek in and catch you hiding out here.

• [last lines] 

  Charles "Charlie" Rawlins : I suppose that's it. We ain't gonna have no fun no more.

  Paul Rawlins : Well, I still got this, don't I?

  [holds up the bedknob, which sparkles bright red]