Columbo (TV Series)

Étude in Black (1972)

John Cassavetes: Alex Benedict

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lieutenant Columbo : Can I ask you a personal question?

  Alex Benedict : Please.

  Lieutenant Columbo : What do you pay in taxes on this place?

• Alex Benedict : What's matter? Did I scare you?

  Jenifer Welles : Well, just for a second I was feeling all the hairs on the back of my neck.

  Alex Benedict : That's just sex.

• Alex Benedict : Goodbye, genius.

• Janice Benedict : How well did you know her, Alex?

  Alex Benedict : Oh, you know.

  Janice Benedict : I don't know.

  Alex Benedict : Now what is that supposed to mean?

  Janice Benedict : You know her phone number by heart.

  Alex Benedict : I know a lot of telephone numbers of people I work with by heart.

• Lieutenant Columbo : Oh, she could've passed out from the gas. And she coulda fallen off that chair and she could have bumped her head; but, uh... you know, that was a pretty good bump. You know, someone coulda hit her.

  Alex Benedict : That's just an assumption on your part.

  Lieutenant Columbo : Right. Very difficult to prove.

• Alex Benedict : You sound like your mother. She'd like me to go around as somber as the ghost... as august as Brahms, as fierce as Beethoven. Did you know that Brahms used to tell dirty stories? He used to have a cigar and use it... while he was conducting sometimes, in concerts. And Beethoven, he was...

  Janice Benedict : Yes, I know. You told me he was a sex maniac.

  Alex Benedict : So am I.

• Alex Benedict : How did people ever listen to symphonies before the age of electronics... and stupid technicians?

• Alex Benedict : Speaking of nerves, you know that Tchaikovsky... got so nervous before a concert, he had hallucinations. Once he was so sure his head was about to fall off, that he held onto it with his left hand and he conducted with his right.

• Alex Benedict : I mean, this woman is late. She's late for everything. She doesn't think there's anyone else in the world alive!

• Alex Benedict : Listen, uh... How did you arrive at that figure, 750,000?

  Lieutenant Columbo : It's real estate rule of thumb. It's a trick. No magic. I'm not an appraiser or anything like that.

• Lieutenant Columbo : Excuse me. I hate to keep bothering you people, but I have something which I think will interest you.

  Alex Benedict : Mr. Columbo, nothing you could possibly say could interest me.

• Lieutenant Columbo : I never got to ask you last night what I wanted to ask ya.

  Alex Benedict : Go ahead.

  Lieutenant Columbo : Terrific place. Terrific.

  Alex Benedict : Thank you. We like it.

• Jenifer Welles : Well, I thought you might be a little angry.

  Alex Benedict : How could I be angry looking at you? I just don't like ultimatums, that's all.

  Jenifer Welles : I don't like being a secret mistress. It's not my style.

  Alex Benedict : I know that. You told me.

• Jenifer Welles : Darling, I know you. I know you're not really afraid of hurting Janice. You're just reluctant to lose her mother's backing... and all that money. Don't worry. You're a genius.

  Alex Benedict : Yes.

  Jenifer Welles : You'll always have everything. You're just a little weak, deep inside, and all you really need is me. And I need you, because I'm the same.

• Alex Benedict : Now, you're always imagining that I'm... I'm... leaping into beds all over town. I've never done that.

  Janice Benedict : Oh, Alex, don't. I know you.

  Alex Benedict : Why do all these people feel that they know me?

• Lieutenant Columbo : Are you still with me?

  Alex Benedict : I'm standing here.

• Alex Benedict : I'm guilty, you know that. Just for the record, I love you.

• Lieutenant Columbo : I had a thought. Listen to this: what if she didn't commit suicide?

  Alex Benedict : Uh, isn't that peculiar? Because that's what I was gonna say. That... That... I was awake almost all night thinking about the same thing.

  Lieutenant Columbo : No kidding.

  Alex Benedict : Yes... only I rejected the idea.

• Lieutenant Columbo : Listen, I really appreciate your taking the time to chat with me like this. You know, this is a lonely business, and it's nice just to have someone that ya... well, just air out your thoughts with.

  Alex Benedict : You know, it's shocking... SHOCKING when you think about suicide, the word. Now, see, I can understand how she might have killed herself, but what possible reason for someone to kill her?

• Alex Benedict : Am I too late for the lynching?

• Alex Benedict : Just don't rely on you woman's intuition. It's never correct.

• Alex Benedict : How could I be angry, looking at you?

• Lieutenant Columbo : I'm Lt. Columbo. I'm a fan of yours, a really big fan. In fact, I just got your latest album.

  Alex Benedict : Thank you. I didn't realize that you were interested in piano concertos.

  Lieutenant Columbo : No, no. I'm talking about the album of Strauss waltzes. "The Blue Danube." You know the one I mean?

  Alex Benedict : Yes. I 'd forgotten that.

• Alex Benedict : Did you have anything specific that you wanted to talk to me about?

  Lieutenant Columbo : No, I'm gonna get to that, but I'm fascinated by money. Aren't you?

  Alex Benedict : Yeah, I'm fascinated by money, for what it can do. That's all.

• Alex Benedict : You see, artists are very, very delicate. They're strange. They go up, and they come down, and they go up, and when they come down, they go down, down, down, and they get distraught. They get full of emotions. They get unable to cope with anything. And we don't realize this until it's too late.

• Alex Benedict : Am I too late for the lynching?

  Lizzy Fielding : This is not a lynching, Alex. What do you want?

  Alex Benedict : I just dropped in to defend Paul. I thought he might need a friend.

  Lizzy Fielding : Well it's noble of you to come galloping to the rescue, but there's no reason to assume that we're planning a hanging.

• Alex Benedict : Let's go inside. We'll be more comfortable.

  Lieutenant Columbo : No, no.

  Alex Benedict : No, no?

  Lieutenant Columbo : I'm not goin' in there. I'm not messin' up the room. I have a wife. I know what that is.