Play It Again, Sam (1972)

Woody Allen: Allan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Allan : That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?

  Museum Girl : Yes, it is.

  Allan : What does it say to you?

  Museum Girl : It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.

  Allan : What are you doing Saturday night?

  Museum Girl : Committing suicide.

  Allan : What about Friday night?

• Allan : If that plane leaves the ground, and you're not on it with him, you'll regret it - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life.

  Linda : That's beautiful!

  Allan : It's from Casablanca; I waited my whole life to say it.

• Dick : What? You got into a fight?

  Allan : Yep.

  Dick : With who?

  Allan : Some guys were getting tough with Julie. I had to teach them a lesson.

  Dick : Are you all right?

  Allan : Yeah, I'm fine. I snapped my chin down onto some guy's fist and hit another one in the knee with my nose.

• Allan : I wonder if she actually had an orgasm in the two years we were married, or did she fake it that night?

• Linda : What reason did she give for wanting a divorce?

  Allan : She wants a laugh; she doesn't laugh enough. Insufficient laughter; that's grounds for divorce. Oh, and skiing! She wants to go skiing. She wants to ski down a mountain laughing like an idiot.

• Allan : I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.

• Dick : Allan, you have invested your emotions in a losing stock, it was wiped out, it dropped off the board. Now what do you do Allan? You reinvest. Maybe in a more stable stock. Something with long term growth possibilities.

  Allan : Who are you going to fix me up with, General Motors?

• Allan : I'm so excited, I think I'll brush all my teeth today!

• Nancy : My lawyer will call your lawyer.

  Allan : I don't have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor.

• Allan : [Preparing room for guests]  Got just the thing, my hundred yard dash medal.

  Linda : Oh you're joking; you're not going to leave out a track medal.

  Allan : Why not? I paid twenty dollars for it.

• Allan : What are you doing Saturday night?

  Museum Girl : Committing suicide.

  Allan : What about Friday night?

• Linda : My God! Can't you cook anything but TV dinners?

  Allan : Who bothers to cook them? I suck 'em frozen.

• Allan : I've got a big decision to make, do I go with Oscar Peterson or Bartók String Quartet No. 5?

  Linda : Why don't you play Oscar Peterson and leave Bartók out so everybody can see it.

• Allan : I had to go to Washington once when I was married, and even though I was the one leaving, I got sick; and when I returned, my wife threw up.

• Allan : No, my parents never got divorced, although I begged them to.

• Nancy : Don't listen to him!

  Bogart : Don't listen to HER!

  Allan : Fellas, we're in a supermarket.

• Allan : I can't do it. How does it look? I invite her over and then come on like a sex degenerate. What am I, a rapist?

  Bogart : You're getting carried away. You think too much. Just do it.

  Allan : We're platonic friends. I can't spoil that by coming on. She'll slap my face.

  Bogart : Oh, I've had my face slapped plenty of times.

  Allan : Yeah, but your glasses don't go flying across the room.

• [last lines] 

  Bogart : That was great. You've, uh, you've really developed yourself a little style.

  Allan : Yeah, I do have a certain amount of style, don't I?

  Bogart : Well, I guess you won't be needing me any more. There's nothing I can tell you now that you don't already know.

  Allan : I guess that's so. I guess the secret's not being you, it's being me. True, you're - you're not too tall and kind of ugly, but - what the hell, I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

  Bogart : Hmmph. Here's looking at you, kid.

• Allan : Here, I got you a present because it's your birthday.

  Linda : How'd you know?

  Allan : Well, you mentioned the date and I remembered because it's the same day my mother had her hysterectomy.

• Linda : Allan, the world is full of eligible women.

  Allan : Yeah, but not like Nancy. She was a lovely thing. I used to lay in bed at night and watch her sleep. Once in a while she would wake up and catch me. She would let out a scream.

• Linda : I feel some sort of a mystical attraction for Van Gogh. Why is that?

  Allan : I don't know. I just know he was a great painter and he cut off an ear for a girl that he loved.

  Linda : That's the kind of thing you would do for a girl.

  Allan : I'd really have to like her a lot.

• Bogart : Now move closer to her.

  Allan : How close?

  Bogart : The length of your lips.

  Allan : That's very close.

• Allan : I gave her a home and affection and security. This was a little girl I found waiting tables at The Hip Bagel. I used to go in there every night and over tip her. A dollar fifty on a thirty-five cent check.

• Linda : Sharon did a movie.

  Allan : Oh?

  Sharon : Underground.

  Allan : Stag film?

  Sharon : Underground! You know, very arty. Sixteen millimeter.

• Sharon : This film I did got very good reviews. As a matter of fact, I got singled out. Of course, I was the only girl in it with nine men.

  Allan : Really? What's it called? Maybe I saw it.

  Sharon : Gang bang.

• Allan : If you want me, I'll be home, on the floor, having an anxiety attack.

• Allan : I have a tendency to reject before I get rejected. That way I save a lot of time and money.

• Dick : He was always very fussy.

  Allan : Yes, but look at the results.

  Dick : Yes, you never went out.

• Allan : Yeah, I get that.

  Linda : What is it, fear or anxiety?

  Allan : Homosexual panic.

• Allan : I have met a lot of dames, but you are REALLY something special.

  Linda : Really?

  Allan : [to Bogart]  She bought it!

• Allan : I'll get broads up here like you wouldn't believe: swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists.

• Allan : You want a Fresca with a Darvon?

  Linda : Unless you have apple juice.

  Allan : Apple juice and Darvon is fantastic together!

  Linda : Have you ever had Librium and tomato juice?

  Allan : No, I haven't personally, but another neurotic tells me they're unbelievable.

  Dick : Could I get a coke with nothing in it?

• Linda : Would you like us to call a doctor?

  Allan : No, no, I could use a 3 foot band-aid.

• Allan : This is a beautiful beach house.

  Linda : Thank you.

  Allan : Yeah, let's burn it down for the insurance money.

• Linda : Maybe if you just leaned across the candlelight and kissed her.

  Allan : I tried, she used to say, "Christ, not here, everybody's staring."

• Allan : You were fantastic last night in bed.

  Linda : Oh, thanks.

  Allan : How do you feel now?

  Linda : I think the Pepto Bismol helped.

• Allan : Maybe you move in with me for a while. As long as we handle this in a mature way. As long as I'm mature about it, you're mature about it, Both of us are mature, we can achieve a certain maturation, that guarantees maturiosity

  Linda : You're mature, Allen, and very wise

  Allan : The key to wiseness is maturiositude.

• Allan : Look. Last night you felt like a woman and I felt like a man... And that's the kind of thing those people do.

• [first lines] 

  [after the opening clips of Casablanca] 

  Allan : [voice-over]  Who am I kidding? I'm not like that. I never was, I never will be... That's strictly the movies.

• Linda : What were you thinking about the whole time we were making love?

  Allan : Willie Mays.

  Linda : Do you always think about baseball players?

  Allan : It keeps me going.

  Linda : Yeah, I wondered why you kept yelling "slide".

• Allan : I attacked her. I'm a vicious jungle beast! She's panicking. By the time she gets home she'll be hysterical. What am I going to tell Dick? She'll probably go right to Police headquarters. Oh, what did I do? I'm not Bogart. I never will be Bogart. I'm a disgrace to my sex. I should get a job in a Arabian palace as a eunuch!

• Allan : Why am I going to the beach? I hate the beach. I don't like swimming or the sun. I'm red-headed, fair-skinned. I don't tan, I stroke.

• [Trying to be like Bogart] 

  Allan : Sorry I had to slap you around, but you got hysterical when I said, "No more."

• Dick : Who were these guys?

  Allan : Oh, they said they were hairdressers, hard to believe though.

• Allan : I like blondes. Little blondes with long hair and short skirts and boots and big chest and bright, witty and perceptive.

  Dick : Well, don't set yourself ridiculous stands, Allan.

  Linda : She must be beautiful with long hair and a big bust?

  Allan : Yes. And a good behind - something I can sink my teeth into.

• Allan : Inside of us, we both know, you belong to Dick.

• Linda : Did you read that another Oakland woman was raped?

  Allan : I was nowhere near Oakland!