Columbo (TV Series)

Playback (1975)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Columbo : [looking over several modern pieces at an art gallery]  Um, now, this here... I see it doesn't have a title.

  Francine : That?

  Columbo : Yes.

  Francine : That, sir, is the ventilator for the air conditioning.

• Columbo : [to Baxter]  I've got this funny habit. You know, when a person does something one way and he suddenly does something another way, I immediately think... I'm sure it doesn't mean anything.

• Columbo : Oh, just one more thing, sir. Uh, I was thinking... in banks, they always have two cameras that cover any area. No offense, but I don't understand why you went to all this trouble to put in this system, but you only put in one camera, leaving part of the room uncovered.

  Harold Van Wick : We only wanted to cover the safe. We expected a thief, not a murder.

• Columbo : I'm sorry to bother you again so soon.

  Harold Van Wick : Perhaps it's more convenient for you, Lieutenant, if you just move in one of our guest rooms.

  Columbo : I'm a nuisance, I know, but I do have a problem.

• Columbo : [Just before he test fires a gun]  You want to put your fingers in your ears? This thing could make a lot of noise.

  Harold Van Wick : I can handle it.

  Columbo : I wish I could say the same.

  [He extends his left arm to fire the pistol and uses his right to cover his right ear] 

• Columbo : It had to be noise. I mean, that's the only thing that would explain it; otherwise, why would her door open? You see, that's my problem, sir. What caused the door to open? There HAD to be a noise.

  Harold Van Wick : Uh, she didn't tell me the door opened.

  Columbo : She didn't?

  Harold Van Wick : No.

  Columbo : She didn't tell me, either.

• Columbo : This is the last time. I promise it will not happen again.

  Harold Van Wick : All right, Lieutenant. I'll take your word for it.

• Columbo : Of all the dumb luck.

  Harold Van Wick : Pardon me?

  Columbo : Three feet, sir. If he'd come another three feet into the room, we'd've had a perfect picture of him.

• Columbo : How can a man walk through seven feet of soil covered in mulch, climb through the window and not leave any traces?

  Harold Van Wick : Maybe he took his shoes off.

• Francine : Good morning, sir. Can I help you?

  Columbo : Could you explain this?

  [indicating a piece of art] 

  Francine : Well, - heh - you see, we don't explain art. I mean, that's just sort of something you feel. Well, you see, you look at a picture or a piece of sculpture and it either does something for you or it doesn't. Y'know?

  Columbo : Uh huh. This doesn't do anything for me.

  Francine : That's too bad.