Eat My Dust (1976)

Rance Howard: Clark

Quotes 

• Sheriff Niebold : [Harry notices his deputy Clark has a shotgun due to the commotion outside]  Why the gun?

  Clark : Sounds like a lynching.

• Dep. Brookside : [forcing to wear a inferior replacement uniform]  Clark, is this all we got?

  Clark : Well, you can always quit.

• Dep. Gallo : This old bastard's under arrest for assaulting an officer!

  Farmer Hale : And this flat-wit and them kids wrecked my whole farm in about fifteen seconds and wouldn't do a damn thing about it!

  Dep. Gallo : Hey, don't blame that on me. Some kid that looked a lot like Hoover, Harry, went through that place like a bomb on wheels. All I was trying to do was keep up with them, then this hayseed...

  Sheriff Niebold : [wearily]  All right, all right. We'll take care of it later. Now if you don't mind, Mr. Hale, waiting in the VIP lounge, I'll be with you shortly.

  Farmer Hale : Well, I expect to get my just desserts.

  Clark : [as Farmer Hale is walking towards the drunk tank]  Right. Why be different?

  Dep. Gallo : No kidding, Harry. They wrecked everything: fences, chicken coops, cow barns, everything!

  Sheriff Niebold : [exasperated]  Oh, put it in your report. I don't want to hear anymore.

• Big Bubba Jones : [after walking out of the bathroom in the sheriff's office]  Whew, how often do you change the double-D-goddamn towels around here?

  Sheriff Niebold : [annoyed]  Who the hell are YOU?

  Big Bubba Jones : Big Bubba Jones. What, you wanna make something of it?

  Sheriff Niebold : Oh, it was your car that was... taken, right?

  Big Bubba Jones : You bet your turned-up nose it was, diddly punk.

  Clark : [angrily points his finger at Bubba]  You watch your smart mouth, fella!

  [Harry puts up his hand to calm Clark down] 

  Sheriff Niebold : You can file a complaint.

  [an exasperated Bubba walks aside and grabs a can of beer from the mini-fridge behind the front desk] 

  Sheriff Niebold : [to Clark]  Now, he will need a complaint form. That will be CF-70-80-VF-00-0. You got that?

  Clark : Got it.

  Big Bubba Jones : Shit, I don't want no forms. I just wanna get Mabel back.

  Clark : Mabel? Well, he wants missing persons. That's a whole other form.

• Clark : [Deputy Brookside tries to keep the parents outside, but they push the door of the sheriff's office open and Clark draws his shotgun at them]  All right, hold it right there!

  [Brookside fearfully holds his hands up to surrender] 

  Clark : Not you, dum-dum!

  Sheriff Niebold : Somebody please shut the goddamn door.

  Hazel Chandler : [wearily]  Oh, I need a drink.

  Big Bubba Jones : Got beer in the ice box.

  Hazel Chandler : Oh, good, Honey, would you get me one?

  Dorrit Kurtz : [noticing Clark is still cautiously aiming his shotgun at the parents]  Do not point the gun at me.

  Willie Kurtz : He is pointing the gun because he is a policeman. Do not tell a policeman not to point a gun.

  Sheriff Niebold : [annoyed]  Put it down.

  Dolores Westerby : [impatiently]  Okay, sheriff, where are they?

  Sheriff Niebold : Now, I know you're worried because I am, too. My kid is out there, too. Now, what they're doing is showing off to each other. Now, this is not a theft, it's just an...

  Big Bubba Jones : [to Hazel]  BA-LONEY.

  Sheriff Niebold : Now, look, when those kids took that car...

  [the parents begin angrily shouting protests] 

  Sheriff Niebold : HOLD IT! LOOK! I told you outside, I can't talk to you all at one time, so if you will just file into the waiting room, I will talk to you ONE at a time.

  [Sam Chandler playfully slaps Dolores' behind to her surprise as they all start to go in] 

  Old Timer : Come on, Harry! That's not a waiting room! That's a goddamn drunk tank!

  Sheriff Niebold : [to the old timer]  Or you can go home and wait for my call.