Autumn Sonata (1978)

Liv Ullmann: Eva

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Quotes 

• Eva : The mother's injuries are to be handed down to the daughter. The mother's failures are to be paid for by the daughter. The mother's unhappiness is to be the daughter's unhappiness. It's as if the umbilical cord had never been cut.

• Eva : There's no dividing line, no insurmountable wall. I know it can't be described. It's a world of liberated feelings. Do you know what I mean? To me, man is a tremendous creation, an inconceivable thought. In man is everything, from the highest to lowest. Everything exists side by side. Realities, not only the reality we perceive with our dull senses, but a tumult of realities arching above each other inside and outside. It's just fear and priggishness to believe in limits. There are no limits, neither to thoughts nor feelings. It's anxiety that sets limits.

• Eva : Are the daughter's miseries the mother's triumphs?

• Eva : A mother and a daughter, what a terrible combination.

• Eva : You said my hair was too long and you had it cut short, it was hideous! Then you thought that I had crooked teeth, and you got me braces, I looked so grotesque! You would buy me books and I would read them and not understand them, and you would make me talk about them, and I would always be afraid that you would show up my stupidity.

• Eva : Look at me, mama. Look at Helena.

  Charlotte Andergast : You can't blame me entirely.

  Eva : You expect an exception for you. You've set up a sort of discount system with life but one day you'll see that your agreement is one-sided.

• Eva : You talk of my hatred. Your hatred was no less.

• Eva : You managed to injure me for life, just as you are injured.

• Eva : I will never let you vanish out of my life again. I'm going to persist. I won't give up, even if it is too late. I don't think it is too late. It must not be too late.

• Eva : But one thing I did understand: not a shred of the real me could be loved or accepted. I didn't dare to be myself even when I was alone because I hated what was my own.

• Eva : People like you are a menace. You should be locked away and rendered harmless.

• Eva : Maybe everything is already too late.

• Eva : You're shut up inside yourself and always standing your own light.

• Eva : Is it so? Is the daughter's misfortune the mother's triumph? Is my grief your secret pleasure?

• Eva : All that was sensitive and delicate, you attacked. All that was alive, you tried to smother.

• Eva : There can be no forgiveness.

• Charlotte Andergast : Eva, you do like me, don't you?

  Eva : You're my mother.

  Charlotte Andergast : That's one way of answering.

  Eva : Do you like me?

  Charlotte Andergast : I love you.

  Eva : Do you?

• Eva : I didn't realize I hated you. I was so sure we loved each other. I couldn't hate you, so my hatred turned into an insane fear. I had nightmares. I bit my nails. I pulled out tufts of hair. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I couldn't make a sound. I tried to scream, but I could only make stifled grunts. That frightened me even more. I thought I was going out of my mind.

• Eva : I couldn't say anything. I had no words. You had taken charge of all the words in our home.

  Charlotte Andergast : You're exaggerating.

  Eva : I must finish speaking. I know I'm tipsy, but otherwise I wouldn't have said what I have. When I'm too ashamed to say any more, you can explain, and I'll listen and understand, just as I've always done.

• Eva : Look at me, Mama. Look at Helena. There are no excuses. There is only one truth and one lie. There can be no forgiveness.

  Charlotte Andergast : You can't blame me entirely.

  Eva : You expect an exception to be made for you. You've set up a sort of discount system with life... but one day you'll see that your agreement is one-sided. You'll discover you're carrying guilt, just like everyone else.

  Charlotte Andergast : What guilt?

• Charlotte Andergast : [after Eva finishes playing Chopin's Prelude 2]  Eva, my dearest.

  Eva : Is that all?

  Charlotte Andergast : I was just so moved.

  Eva : Did you like it?

  Charlotte Andergast : I liked you.

  Eva : I don't understand.

• Eva : It's gotten quiet in here.

  Charlotte Andergast : What can I say?

  Eva : Defend yourself.

  Charlotte Andergast : Is it worth the effort?

  Eva : How would I know?

• Charlotte Andergast : I broke off my career to stay at home with you and Papa.

  Eva : Your back prevented you from practicing six hours a day. Your playing got worse and so did your reviews. Have you forgotten that?

  Charlotte Andergast : No, but Eva...

  Eva : I don't know which I hated more, when you were at home or when you were on tour.

• Eva : Wait, Mama. Just feel how nice it is in here. Erik drowned the day before his fourth birthday. But you know that. It was too much for Viktor. I grieved a lot, outwardly. Deep inside, I felt like he was still alive, that we were living close to each other. All I have to do is concentrate, and he's there. Sometimes, as I'm falling asleep I can feel him breathing on my face and touching me with his hand. He's living another life, but we can reach one another.

• Charlotte Andergast : Play something else.

  Eva : What was wrong with it?

  Charlotte Andergast : Nothing.

  Eva : You didn't like my interpretation.

  Charlotte Andergast : We each have our own.

  Eva : Exactly. I want to know yours.

  Charlotte Andergast : You're annoyed.

  Eva : No, I'm upset. You won't tell me your interpretation of this prelude.

• Eva : When you play the slow movement of the Hammerklavier sonata, you must feel like you're living in a world without limitations, in a movement you can never see through or explore.

• Eva : Why on earth did she come here? What did she expect would happen after seven years? What did she expect?

  Viktor : I wonder.

  Eva : And what did I expect? We never give up hope, do we?

  Viktor : I don't think so.

  Eva : Don't we ever stop being mother and daughter?

• Eva : For you, I was just a doll you played with when you had time. If I was sick or naughty, you handed me over to the nanny. You shut yourself in and worked, and no one was allowed to disturb you. I used to stand outside, listening. When you stopped for coffee, I'd go in to see if you really existed. You were always kind, but your mind was elsewhere. If I spoke, you barely answered.

• Eva : I loved you, Mama. As a matter of life and death. But I distrusted your words. They didn't match the expression in your eyes. You have a beautiful voice. When I was little, I could feel it all over my body. But I knew instinctively you didn't mean what you said. I couldn't understand your words. The most horrible thing was, you'd smile when you were mad. When you hated Papa, you'd call him, "my dearest." When you were tired of me, you'd say, "darling little girl."

• Eva : A writer whose name I've forgotten said, "It's like a ghost falling on top of you when you open the door to the nursery having long since forgotten it is the nursery." Do you think I'm an adult?

  Viktor : I guess being an adult is being able to handle your dreams and hopes, not longing for things.

  Eva : Do you think so?

  Viktor : Maybe you stop being surprised.

  Eva : You look so sensible with your old pipe. You're very adult.

  Viktor : I don't know. I'm surprised every day.

  Eva : At what?

  Viktor : At you.

• Eva : I've often wondered why she sleeps badly. Now I know. If that woman slept normally, her vitality would crush everyone. Her insomnia is nature's way of using up the surplus energy.

• Eva : It'll be dark soon, and it's getting cold. I have to go home and make dinner for Viktor and Helena. I can't die now. I'm afraid to commit suicide... and one day maybe God will have a use for me. Then he'll set me free from my prison.