Protocol (1984)

Goldie Hawn: Sunny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Senator Norris : Sunny, the purpose of this hearing is to find out who was responsible. If you give us a name...

  Sunny Davis : No, sir, I'm sorry, I can't do that.

  Senator Norris : You can't... Why not?

  Sunny Davis : Because *I'm* responsible.

  [crowd starts to murmur loudly] 

  Sunny Davis : [continues]  Do you know what my dad says? He says that if you let a guy sell you a diamond ring for only ten cents, the chances are you own a diamond ring not worth a dime. Well, I bought the whole mine. I thought I was getting a free ride - or at least a real cheap one. And I really have to thank them for that. I mean the people who sold it to me, I mean.

• Vice President Merck : Sunny, what are your plans?

  Sunny Davis : I don't have any. I mean, well, I have a job at the Safari club and Lou, well, he's my boss and he's really a nice guy and everything, but business hasn't been so hot and I was kind of hoping for an advancement, you know, but the problem is that Lou's aunt works the cash register and his sister's the hostess so I'm just gonna have to wait around until one of 'em quits or drops dead. I guess you know what that's like, hmm?

  Vice President Merck : Hmm!

• Sunny Davis : I'm not yelling, I'm just speaking distinctly!

• Sunny Davis : I'd like to tell everybody in America that this is absolutely the best place to come if you're ever shot in the ass.

• Sunny Davis : [referring to the government people she's working with]  They talk funny.

  Jerry : Funny how?

  Sunny Davis : I don't know, they sound like they're saying things that they're not really saying, but I can't figure out what the hell it is.

  Sunny Davis : Jerry, tell me the truth. Am I one of those "Oh, yeah, she's really a lot of fun and she's got a great sense of humor but she's not very bright" kind of people?

  Jerry : Come on, Sunny, don't be ridiculous. You're a *very* bright kind of people.

• Ben : [picks up the phone]  Hello? Yeah, hold on a minute. Sunny, it's for you.

  [hands the phone to Sunny who's in the bathtub] 

  Sunny Davis : Oh, thanks. Hello? Oh, hi, Mr. Crowe. Yeah, the Queen of Dubai. Okay. I'll be there. Don't you worry. Bye.

  [hangs up] 

  Ben : You know more queens than I do.

  Sunny Davis : [giggling]  Oh, Ben!

• Sunny Davis : Wait a minute, guys. Don't get excited!

• Sunny Davis : I'm real sorry. I promise I'll be on time the whole rest of the week, okay?

  Lou : What rest of the week? It's Friday already.

• Lou : Thank you very much for showing up.

  Sunny Davis : Oh, geez, am I late?

  Lou : How come you were running like that if you didn't know you were late?

  Sunny Davis : Exercise.

• Ella : He's been real generous lately. I mean, real generous. You know what I mean?

  Sunny Davis : I think so.

  Ella : See this?

  [shows a diamond ring] 

  Ella : Now, don't tell anyone. It's real.

  Sunny Davis : Wow!

  Ella : See these?

  [clutches her breast] 

  Ella : They're not. He paid for all three.

• Sunny Davis : Well, you sure don't look like one.

  Michael Ransome : Like one what?

  Sunny Davis : A middle-aged desk clerk.

  Michael Ransome : No, no, that's Middle East desk chief.

• Mr. Davis : If you'd like, after dinner, I'll take you down to the basement and I'll show you something that'll knock your socks off.

  Vice President Merck : Really? And what might that be?

  Mrs. Davis : Not now, dear.

  Mr. Davis : It could save our country 50% of its water bills.

  Sunny Davis : After dinner, Dad.

  Vice President Merck : 50% of its water bills? Yes, I'd be interested in hearing about that.

  Mr. Davis : It's an electric toilet. You won't forget the experience. I guarantee it.

• Sunny Davis : No, dear, I'm not a chicken. I'm an emu. That's emu. E-M-U.

• Sunny Davis : Well, exactly, um, where would I be working?

  Vice President Merck : The State Department.

  Sunny Davis : And I was wondering, does a job like that pay by the hour, or the week or what?

  Vice President Merck : Well, for a start, about $35,000 a year.

• Crowe : But seriously, Sunny, how is that hip?

  Sunny Davis : Great.

  Crowe : That's wonderful.

  Sunny Davis : The other one though, where the bullet went in, still aches a little.

• Sunny Davis : Well, oh, my gosh, what would I be doing?

  Vice President Merck : Well, you'd be acting as a special assistant to Ambassador St. John. You know who that is?

  Sunny Davis : Um, I don't know. No, I don't think so. No, I know I don't know. Who is he?

  Vice President Merck : She.

  Sunny Davis : She? She's a she?

  Vice President Merck : And she's the head of a department of government that we think you'd be particularly well-suited for.

  Sunny Davis : And what department is that?

  Vice President Merck : Protocol.

  Sunny Davis : Protocol? That's - gosh - that's - I don't believe it. Protocol? Protocol!

• Mr. Davis : Now, before you get on that plane I want to tell you how proud I am of you. What you did, grabbing that assassin and all.

  Sunny Davis : Gee, Dad, that's the first time you ever told me anything like that.

  Mr. Davis : Well, that's the first time you ever did anything like that.

• Sunny Davis : As for Mr. Al Kabeer and his friends, well, I've never met a nicer bunch of foreign people.

• Belgium Ambassador : Have you ever been to Belgium?

  Sunny Davis : No, no. No, actually, I haven't been anywhere. Oh. I mean, outside of this country, I mean. Well, I was in Canada once, but that doesn't count 'cause it's like attached.

• Nawaf Al Kabeer : Blessed are the small ones, who shall be made large.

  Sunny Davis : Oh, I see. Yeah. I couldn't agree more.

• Sunny Davis : You know what amazes me? Is how these guys - I got to go - is how these guys have time to run the country when they're so busy. Going to banquets and openings and receptions all the time. God, I don't know how they do it.

• Ben : I thought you had some big luncheon.

  Sunny Davis : I did, but it was for some nice Tibetan guy. But they served food I didn't recognize. And I swear to God, the main course was still alive.

• Sunny Davis : Mmm. Did you used to do this to your wife?

  Michael Ransome : None of your business.

  Sunny Davis : God, you've got great fingers.

• Ben : Did you see anyone famous?

  Sunny Davis : Well, I sat next to a Senator who put his hand on my leg, under the table.

  Ben : Which one?

  Sunny Davis : The right one.

  Ben : No, no, no. Which Senator?

  Sunny Davis : I don't know, but you really had to appreciate his energy level. He was eating and drinking with one hand, copping a feel with the other. And talking about fiscal irresponsibility all at the same time.

• Sunny Davis : You know what I read the other day? The Declaration of Independence. I mean, the real one. You know, the original, the one in the Archives? Boy, those guys knew how to say what they thought. Talk about simple. I mean, all that stuff about happiness. What government talks about happiness anymore?

• Mrs. St. John : [knocks at the door]  Sunny dear, are you in there?

  Sunny Davis : Yes, ma'am.

  Mrs. St. John : We were concerned.

  Sunny Davis : Well, Mr. Ransome was just giving me an adjustment.

• Michael Ransome : Not so loud.

  Sunny Davis : Yikes. I feel like I'm in high school or something. Did you lock the door?

• Michael Ransome : Sunny, I can't give you advice about your life. I hardly know you.

  Sunny Davis : So, get to know me.

• Emir : Sunny, you could be the mother of kings.

  Sunny Davis : Oh, sure. Queen Sunny, the ex-cocktail waitress. I'm just lucky I get to meet people like you. That's all. Just 'cause of that crazy accident.

  Emir : There are no accidents.

  Sunny Davis : Sure, there are.

  Emir : There is only destiny and character.

• Hilley : Now, Sunny, we want to take you into our confidence. And I know that we can trust you. Am I right?

  Sunny Davis : Mr. Hilley, my lips are sealed.

  Hilley : Well, that's good. Because what I have to tell you is that...

  Sunny Davis : They could slap me around, keep me awake for days at a time...

  Hilley : I don't think that's what...

  Sunny Davis : They can hang me upside-down and throw stuff in my face.

  Hilley : Yes, yes, I see.

  Sunny Davis : They could keep me in a dark, cold cell without much food or water.

  Hilley : You're a brave girl!

  Sunny Davis : But what they couldn't do is anything with electricity or live snakes because I don't think I could handle it...

• Hilley : He's here on an unofficial visit.

  Sunny Davis : Unofficial?

  Hilley : Officially.

  Sunny Davis : You mean, officially he's here unofficially?

  Hilley : Yes, that's it. That's exactly right.

• Sunny Davis : If there's a diplomatic pouch coming this way, gee, I wouldn't mind if you included a tuna fish salad sandwich and some lip gloss.

• Emir : Sunny, you and I are more than just an ex-cocktail waitress and an emir. We are also a man and a woman.

  Sunny Davis : Yeah, I can see that.

  Emir : You understand what I'm saying?

  Sunny Davis : Yeah. You want to date me.

  Emir : Emirs do not date.

• Sunny Davis : I don't know what I'm gonna say. I'll tell you this. I can't wait to find out.

• Sunny Davis : You really know how to fly one of these things?

  Emir : I am the chief of the Air Force.

  Sunny Davis : That's not what I asked!

• Emir : Why do you think you were sent here?

  Sunny Davis : I don't believe you! Americans don't do things like that! Do we?

• Sunny Davis : What were you going to do, make me a part of your harem, and tell me about it afterwards?

  Emir : I don't have a harem. I have some wives.

  Sunny Davis : Wives? You've got *some* wives?

• Senator Norris : And what, to the best of your understanding, were your duties with regard to the Emir?

  Sunny Davis : I was supposed to show him a good time.

  Senator Norris : A good time?

  Sunny Davis : Yes, sir. That's what Mr. Hilley told me.

  Senator Norris : Mr. Hilley told you to show the emir a good time.

  Sunny Davis : Well, actually the exact words he used were, "A very good time."

  Senator Norris : And, how did you interpret this curious directive?

  Sunny Davis : I didn't interpret it. I just did it.

• Sunny Davis : I imagine it was the first time Mrs. St. John ever got busted. Of course, I could be wrong.

• Sunny Davis : Do you want to know something? Before I started to work for the government, I'd never read the Constitution. I didn't even begin to know how things worked. I didn't. I didn't read the newspaper, except to look up my horoscope. And I never read the Declaration of Independence. But I know they had, the ones we're talking about, the experts. They all read it. They just forgot what it was about. That it's about "We the People." And that's me. I'm "We the People." And you're "We the People". And all of us, we're all "We the People." Right?