The Canterville Ghost (1986 TV Movie)

Ted Wass: Harry Canterville

Quotes 

• Harry Canterville : [Harry, Lucy & Jenny have just been told about the origins behind Sir Simon's hauntings by Mrs. Umney. As they all ascend the staircase, Jenny hesitantly moves forward, uncertainly eying the oil painting portrait at the top of the stairs of Sir Simon & Lady de Canterville]  Jenny, don't you be frightened by any of this. Someone's trying to play a trick on us.

  Lucy Canterville : [approaches Jenny]  Your dad's right. Now, there is NO ghost.

  Sir Simon de Canterville : [booming voice]  WOMAN! YOU ARE MISTAKEN!

  Mrs. Umney : WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  [Mrs. Umney wails and presses herself against the wall] 

  Sir Simon de Canterville : [the ghost of Sir Simon materializes at the top of the second level of stairs and begins descending towards the group, slowly]  I am Sir Simon de Canterville! This is my property! You are trespassing! You are intruding! Be gone!

  Mrs. Umney : [Mrs. Umney peels herself away from the wall and moves behind Harry, Lucy and Jenny on the lower staircase in a frightened panic]  Um, um, um, uh, uh, uh...

  Sir Simon de Canterville : [Sir Simon continues to descend towards the group, with slow measured steps]  When the owl beats against the window pane, the raven croaks from the old yule tree. When the wind goes moaning 'round the house like a lost soul, then the deeds of blood will coax... Murder... walk abroad... with silent creaks. WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

  [rattles the chains in his hands, while shrieking] 

  Lucy Canterville : [the four are huddled in fear, but Lucy moves Harry's hand around her enough to announce]  The sound effect of the chains is very good, but a little too loud. You can lower it, Hummle!

  Sir Simon de Canterville : [looking confused at Lucy's remark]  What's that?

  Lucy Canterville : It's a great effect, I've gotta admit it.

  Sir Simon de Canterville : SILENCE!

  [Sir Simon's voice booms, causing the group to huddle closer] 

  Sir Simon de Canterville : YOU ALL WILL LEAVE THIS ROOM!

  Lucy Canterville : [moves out of Harry's protective arm and steps towards Sir Simon, scared, but defiant]  I... don't... think so!

  Sir Simon de Canterville : I WARN YOU... WOMAN!

  Lucy Canterville : Thank you!

  [continues to move towards the apparition] 

  Jennifer Canterville : No!

  Mrs. Umney : Wait!

  Harry Canterville : Lucy, come back!

  Lucy Canterville : [continues to approach the apparition, waving her hand behind her to let them know she is ok and intends to keep advancing. Sir Simon wails, and shakes his chains, his moans fill the room, then vanishes. Lucy comes to where Sir Simon last stood, breathes a sigh of relief, and then turns around to face the group]  Well, how do you suppose they did that?

  [looks to Mrs. Umney] 

  Lucy Canterville : Can we please see our rooms now? We really don't appreciate these Halloween tricks, Mrs. Umney?

  Mrs. Umney : They weren't no tricks, Madam.

  [cautiously steps out from in back of Harry and Jenny] 

  Mrs. Umney : Oh dear me, no, no, no, no. They come as easy as pie to him. If you follow me, madam, I'll show you

  [out of breath from fright, but begins ascending the stairs] 

  Mrs. Umney : where to go.

  Harry Canterville : Wow, wasn't that a kick, Jen? Halloween came a little early this year.

  [grabs his bags and begins to ascend the staircase] 

  Jennifer Canterville : Yeah.

  Harry Canterville : Yeah.

  Jennifer Canterville : [Jennifer ascends the staircase, stopping where the ghost of Sir Simon stood. She finds a feather on the step. Picking it up she studies it, then looks around again]  Daddeeee!

  [she runs up the stairs after her father] 

• Harry Canterville : I thought you might be hungry, so I scraped some food off the floor and walls for ya.

• Harry Canterville : You have a terrible cough, Sir Simon.

  Sir Simon de Canterville : Mm, perhaps it will be the death of me.

• Harry Canterville : Ah, Charles the First... Say, didn't the people chop his head off?

  Sir Simon de Canterville : Did they REALLY? Whatever next?

  Jennifer Canterville : They sure did, in 1649.

  Sir Simon de Canterville : Ah, after my lifetime, I'm afraid. I always knew he'd come to a bad end.