Lunch Meat (1987) User Reviews

Silly; Predictable; Amateurish; Mediocre.

[BA_Harrison · 4/10 · 17 November 2010]

Grainy photography, mean-spirited violence. a lo-fi soundtrack, assorted irritating city folk being systematically offed by foul-mouthed, gap-toothed rednecks: Lunchmeat has all of the ingredients I would expect to find in any self-respecting backwoods B-movie, but with an overwhelming sense of cheapness, amateurish direction, dreadful acting, and most of the deaths occurring off-screen, I doubt this one will be featured on many people's 'Top Ten list of Hillbilly Horror'.

Unsurprisingly taking its cues from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, the film sees several young adults falling foul of a family of bloodthirsty maniacs who intend to turn their victims into burger meat. With much of the film consisting of a tedious, drawn-out game of cat and mouse between the terrified townies and their inbred assailants, interspersed with the occasional nasty-but-not-all-that-gory killing, this one soon gets extremely boring; even a cannibalistic man-child on the loose and porn star-to-be Ashlyn Gere as one of the victims (credited here as Kim McKamy and sporting a particularly nasty paw-print sweater), Lunchmeat is simply too derivative, too inept and too dull to make the (cold) cut.

Mediocre, Low-Budget Cannibal Cuisine

[ObscureCinema101 · 4/10 · 2 June 2012]

One of my all-time favorite hobbies is collecting VHS tapes. Sure, it's not as fun now that all the major rental stores have either been shut down or don't carry the format anymore, but it's still fun to browse online. On that note, any self-respecting VHS collector knows one of the rarest finds is a big box VHS of 1987's LUNCH MEAT.

A group of fun-loving teenagers decide to head up to a cabin in the woods for the weekend. However, the gang encounters a backwoods, cannibal family looking to chop them up and sell their meat to the local hamburger joint. Will anyone survive?

Indeed, will anyone survive the grating experience that is the unbelievably inept LUNCH MEAT? I know I did, but just barely. Honestly, this is one of the only films I've come across that nearly fails on all levels, both in actual quality and genuine entertainment. However, a few bits of cheesy goodness put it one or two levels above the bottom of the barrel.

The people who made this obviously had no idea what they were doing, which is blatantly obvious because of how poorly executed everything in this movie is. The acting is horrible and these people are clearly friends and family of the director (it does have Ashlyn Gere, who starred in one of my favorite cheesy slashers, 1986's EVIL LAUGH). Also, I have to throw in that one character sounded a lot like Roger from the show American DAD.

The biggest problem I have with LUNCH MEAT is the chase. Here's the case: first, we get thirty minutes of hilarious character development (hilarious for the wrong reasons, of course). Then we get a forty minute long chase scene that's just that: people running around. Nothing happens except PEOPLE. RUNNING. AWAY. It has to be one of the most excruciating things I've had to sit through in a while.

The film does have the occasional fun and/or funny moment, but they are few and far between. For the burger stand, they just put a white sign reading "So-and-So's Burgers" on the side of a run-down building in downtown Detroit (or some other place). Some of the character interactions are amusing as well. Once the final couple begins to fight back, the pace picks up considerably, but it resorts back to mediocrity after a while.

Overall, I don't want to say LUNCH MEAT is worth watching, but I don't want to advise anyone to avoid it at all costs. It has its fun moments, but the painful-to-watch middle section is enough to scare anyone away. Also, for a film to sell itself as a really gruesome movie filled with carnage, there isn't a whole lot of bloodshed. In fact, I might even say I enjoyed CANNIBAL CAMPOUT more than this. It's that bad.

My advice: If you stumble upon it by chance, watch it once just to say you did. Then throw it in the trash.

Chewy meat.

[lost-in-limbo · 5/10 · 15 November 2008]

Obscure, and largely forgotten; 'Lunch Meat' is a rancid piece of late 80's ultra-cheap, but deranged slush involving what could be longest chase scene I've ever witnessed in this survival rural cannibalistic hillbilly shocker. Where it lacks creativity (think of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and 'Slaughterhouse'), it marginally makes up for its enthusiasm and grit. Still despite the same-old get-up (a bunch of young adults planning a camp out are ambushed by a family of rednecks and picked off virtually one by one in the woods), it's a little unexpected in who cops it first. Disappointing though (maybe because of the budget), was that the majority of the violence (cruelly painted) is out of view. You see it (lets focus on the hacking!), but you actually don't see it. Even with its scummy and unpleasant air, it really does lack the brutal edge. There's no real structure abound, as some moments are messy, or both padded and definitely repetitive. Half of the film is spent on the stalk and chase scenario, but gladly it moves by fast enough and the atmosphere grows to the sensation of there being no easy way out. By the way, it closes on an eerily hazy note, if rather a familiar one. You'll know. The comedic elements felt more so purposely thought-out, but that's not discarding some unintentional inclusions also. The make-up FX is crude, but it wasn't that much of a shortcoming as it added to the ghastly schlock effects. Kirk Alex's direction is sloppy, but holds your attention and the score twitches along, but feels right at home. The acting is amateurish with characters that are disposable, but I never found them to be overbearing. Kim McKay (who soon after spinning out a couple more cheap horror flicks, became better known for her involvement in the adult film industry under the name Ashlyn Gere) pints some further interest as one of victims. Elroy Wiese is good lively fun as the dominating father of these crazy backwoods dwellers. Entertainingly shonky low-grade straight-to-video trash.

A forgotten gem....

[bfan83 · 10 January 2008]

Unfortunately, Lunchmeat is a forgotten gem of a film. It's been rarely seen, and insanely obscure to track down. Thankfully, after a 9 year search I bought the movie on ebay for $36. It was well spent. The plot concerns six friends heading up to their friends parents cabin. They ultimately and unfortunately cross paths with a sick, cannibalistic family who kills people, chops them up, and sells the "meat" to a local restaurant, hence the title Lunchmeat. Some of the scenes in this film are quite disturbing and downright sickening. The use of Super 8mm and the grittiness made it all the more real. What kept it from being to frightening, however, were the performances of the men who played the family of cannibals were played with tongue planted firmly in cheek. Kim McKamy (from Dreamaniac, Creepozoids, and Evil Laugh), also known as Adult film celebrity, Ashlyn Gere did a magnificent job as Roxy. You could feel her terror. If are lucky enough to track down a copy, it's well worth it, if you're a true horror fan. My rating 9/10!

Lunch Meat: What a painful mess.

[Foreverisacastironmess123 · 4/10 · 31 May 2018]

So in this very cheap and dull old The Texas Chainsaw Massacre knockoff, you get crappy victims fighting for their lives against even crappier redneck cannibal psychos, and the entire thing fails to deliver on every level! For a start, good god is this flick ever ugly, it's so grainy and muggy-looking that even in the broad daylight of the scenes, I couldn't completely make out what was happening a lot. The sound was brutally overbearing and uneven, the gore consisted of cheap dime store fake blood being squirted on people and a couple of paper mache-looking heads, it's a rough effort to be sure - ghastly yes, but for all the wrong reasons! The worst thing though was that it was dead boring! A complete snoozefest that didn't remotely captivate me for even one second, I started to drift away from it in the first few minutes.. It didn't even feel like a movie, it felt more like a terrible visual exercise in drudgery that had vague aspirations of playing out some kind of horror-like scenario through blurted out dialogue. It wasn't even so bad that it was good so don't be thinking you'll enjoy it that way, it ain't no Troll 2! Most of the story components are just recycled ideas that can be found in any cannibal horror movie really. The story is weak and virtually nonexistent, the locations are ugly and unappealing to look at, and the actors, bless them, they were trying, but there wasn't much of anything in this for anyone to work with, it was nigh on impossible to give a damn about any of them. Some of the 'actors' playing the rednecks looked drunk off their asses in certain scenes. There's just not much one can even say about this movie, apart from that you'd probably be much better off just watching some of the more well done horror movies of the cannibal genre. "Lunch Meat" is an excruciating mess of a film that crawls along like a bow-legged caterpillar and features a whole lot of unlikable characters who like to yell and scream a lot, it deserves only to be unceremoniously stuffed in the farthest corner of the freezer with all the other poisoned meat, frozen and hidden away forever... I sincerely hope that it was as unpleasant to make as it was for me to watch. Cheap tacky and charmless, this thing couldn't finish fast enough for me.. Go back to the hell that spawned you!

Ahhhhh

[BandSAboutMovies · 3/10 · 31 October 2021]

Lunchmeat is not pretty - although it does have Kim McKamy, the actress who would one day become Ashlyn Gere, in the cast - and it looks like it was filmed by the same gigantic home camcorder that your dad once used to tape your prom.

Directed, written and produced by one and done auteur Kirk Alex, who drove cabs for years to raise money for this movie, which tells the story of Paw and his three kids: Elwood, Harley and Benny, the gigantic man on the cover of the VHS release.

The kids that are fated to die first have to eat human meat within the burgers of Wilbur's Bar and Grill and then they're off to be part of a USDA Grade - trust me, that's the lowest grade that can be legally sold to humans - remix of Texas Chainsaw Massacre that isn't as good as even Blood Salvage. If you're gong to remake something already made, make it weirder. Make it different. Do something.

For everyone proclaiming this murderdrone, all the killing happens off screen and at no point did I use this movie to find a higher plateau of reasoning. I sure tried, however! Maybe I have such a disdain for movies that instill a distrust of the Southern accent, particularly when this movie takes place in California.

Just go with it

[Tromafreak · 6/10 · 17 May 2009]

Hot diggity damn!! Another low-budget horror movie from the 80's, about backwoods cannibals chasing and killing campers, exactly what I was hoping for. For some reason, I was expecting this one to be shot on video, and for some reason, I felt let down that it wasn't. Is that weird?

We begin with a group of 80's slasher rejects, singing "Row Your Boat" and bickering about their stupid 80's problems, and, oh yeah, eating sandwich's. They're all headed out to the rich kid's parents cabin in the middle of nowhere (?) You can spot the token unlikeable rich kid by his throaty voice and irritable personality, just so you know. Say what you will about Lunch Meat, but This movie wastes no time (except yours) . Once these squares reach the desired destination, they're automatically ambushed by bloodthirsty inbred yokels. The next hour is literally one long chase, with a break every now and then for some brutal killings and flesh-eating, and a little humorous dialog to keep the mood right. There's very few dull moments to speak of. Lunch Meat turns out to be pretty fast-paced for such a little obscurity, I'm almost kinda impressed. Obviously not the best of its kind, but I could think of about 100 more that are worse. To my knowledge, Lunch Meat is only available on VHS, so, we're dealing with plenty of sound issues, grainy screen, yeah, you know the routine, so if you're looking for digital convenience, I would recommend renting Wrong Turn. Something about Lunch Meat almost reminds me of The Devil's Rejects, probably one of it's many inspirations, which, in my book, is a plus. Any other time, I might say don't bother, check out something worthwhile like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but since you've taken the time to look up and read about something this obscure, then you're obviously looking for something a bit different, in that case, have at it, haus. 6/10

Better than it should be

[slayrrr666 · 8/10 · 11 September 2008]

"Lunch Meat" is a much better than expected slasher.

**SPOILERS**

Out on a camping trip, friends Roxy, (Kim McKamy) her boyfriend Frank, (Joe Ricciardella) Sue, (Patricia Christie) Eddie, (Bob Joseph) Debbie, (Marie Ruzicka) and Cary, (Rick Lorentz) decide to stop off at a small town on the way to their destination at Mount Edgar. Getting the directions to the spot, they manage to stumble into a trap lead by inbred-redneck Paw, (Elroy Wiese) and his three sons Elwood, (Mitch Rogers) Harley, (Robert Oland) and Benny, (Chuck Ellis) and are soon chased around the woods by the demented family. As they slowly whittle down the numbers on each side, it soon becomes apparent of their need to consume human flesh and try to survive the family's increasingly-crazed antics to get out of the woods alive without being caught or eaten.

The Good News: This wasn't all that terrible, and much better than it should've been. The main thing to this, and where most of the good stuff comes from the finale. The entire last hour to this, which is essentially a single chase through the woods, is really great and a lot of fun. There's the fact that the chasing is entertaining and fun, as both sides are shown to have the advantage at different stages, the hillbillies in the early going and then the teens later on as they whittle them down one-by-one. That keeps the interest going nicely, since the story is kept simple. It's a rednecks-slaughter-teens movie with no other subplot to spoil the attention from the main focus, moving the film along nicely and manages to keep this fresh and exciting at the same time. Throwing in some pretty nice brawling, an outstanding confrontation around the campsite at the end where everything gets resolved in a great manner and a fantastic set of bloodless kills manages to make it even better. The backwoods scenery is a positive, and definitely adds to the atmosphere, since it's portrayed as exactly the kind of material that a family can hide in and cause trouble with, and the eerie quality of it definitely gives some of the stalking some good points. The starting point, with the road trap is great and leads into some nice chasing, and there's the overall length of it, which is where it works. Although bloodless, the kills in here are really brutal and graphic, from a decapitation with a pickax, a shovel used to sever the head, a stabbing in the chest with a hunting knife, repeatedly hacked and sliced with a machete, hooked through the throat with a hook and strung up in a noose and bring struck with a large rock, among others in here. Even though there isn't a whole lot of blood and gore, it's still enough to count. The last good part is that the family of maniacs is portrayed as being as really crazy and deranged. The main ones are freaky-looking, but the one who doesn't talk comes off like he's a giant limb-eating baby, which is by far the creepiest of the clan. The family even keeps him on a leash, giving off the idea that this lunatic is raving mad, selling the idea even more. All of these are enough to make this one watchable.

The Bad News: There isn't a whole lot to this that doesn't work, and those aren't that bad anyway. The main one here is that there's really no blood or gore in the kills. They're brutal, graphic and definitely should've had something in here, yet this one is pretty dry compared to what it could've been. We see merely violent aftermath, yet there's no oozing wounds or even arterial spray from some of the more violent ones in here, and some are even done at angle that prevents a look at it actually happening even though we see what's being done. That alone is what's so aggravating about these, since it's opportunistic for much more yet there's little actually done. The other flaw in here is that this one seems way too familiar at times, with the cannibalistic, inbred family chasing after stranded teens in the middle of the forest with no one else around for miles being a storyline that's really been done to death and this one doesn't really do much to stick out. These, though, are all that really hurt this one.

The Final Verdict: A whole lot better than expected and actually somewhat entertaining, this is a perfectly fine late-era slasher. Really give this one a shot if this sounds interesting, a fan of the style or the kind of films in it's genre, otherwise those who can't get into the style or nature of it won't be too thrilled with it.

Rated R: Graphic Language and Violence

Awful but fun at the same time!

[LebaneseLesbian · 6/10 · 16 December 2007]

Here, we have the typical slasher flick set-up. A group of kids set out on a nice trip in the woods get ambushed by a group of red-neck maniacs.

While I can admit this film was very poorly made, it still managed to be entertaining. The acting is about as bad as it gets and there is a severe lack of character development. It's one of those flicks where you have nothing to do so you slap this movie in your VCR. What this movie is, basically is just mindless fun. Not a classic in any way shape or form but somehow manages to entertain.

'Lunch Meat' is not for everyone but for those of you lucky(unlucky?) enough to get a hold of this rare b-horror flick, you just may be surprised.

I give it 6 red-necks out of 10.

Unsavory gore

[lor_ · 31 March 2023]

My review was written in January 1989 after watching the feature on Tapeworm video cassette.

This 1986 film with a not-so-catchy title is aimed at the lower end of the gore market and offers little of interest to traditional horror fans.

Aping, with little skill, Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", film concerns a clan of backwoods California dunderheads who prey on passersby, eating their flesh and selling leftovers to suppliers in town to be made into luncheon meat.

Kim McKamy (who deserves better than her recent string of roles in cheapies like this one) and her pals are on a weekend vacation when they're spotted by the geeks and attacked. Poorly paced film has this occurring early on, with anticlimax final reels of attempted escape and gruesome confrontations.

In-fighting dialog among the young heroes and heroines en route to their date with the meat cleaver is relentlessly boring. Gore content is nauseating for the uninitiated but pointless and unimaginative for the young gorehounds out there in video land. Corny payoff has the backward Benny taking revenge on his sadistic daddy (i.e., "Paw") after set-up scenes of the old man whipping him mercilessly.

Technical credits are extremely crude, especially in the editing of unmatched footage.

Redneck rampage.

[HumanoidOfFlesh · 7/10 · 31 March 2010]

A group of young teenagers run into a group of murderous redneck cannibals.Soon the woods are filled with screams of dying...Cheesy and lovingly cheap survival/hicksploitation flick with decent acting and insane mood.It owes a lot to Tobe Hooper's legendary "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". Director Kirk Alex holds the tension well with little flares like frantic POV shots.The gore is kept to minimum,but the brutality is quite strong for example there is a decapitation,throat munching and machete through the stomach.The hillbillies are suitably menacing as they stalk their human prey.If you are a fan of "Trapped" or "Hunter's Blood" give this low-budget oddity a look.7 cannibalistic rednecks out of 10.

A Tasty Treat from the Icky Eighties!

[Atomic_Brain · 10/10 · 25 April 2020]

According to anecdotal reports, Kirk Alex spent ten years raising the cash to make Lunch Meat, his one and only movie. And what a movie it is. Lunch Meat is much more than a "teenagers in peril" jaunt, but a brutal allegory of the inherent cruelty of carnivore-based society, in which "Meat is Meat." The Urban "protagonists" are all loser cliche stereotypes, easily set up as symbolic Meat being lead to slaughter. The Rurals are depicted as a close-knit family or tribe, a seriously disturbed, likely incestuous family unit, whose grisly motto is "survival at all costs." In this most unusual permutation of the hardy "Urban vs Rural" horror movie trope, the rurals are depicted as the villains, but in fact the Urbans are the invaders, and they are trepassing without regard in others sacred land. The Rurals are selling slaughtered meat (presumably all human) to the local entrepreneur, a vaguely capitalist enterprise which is no different than beef farmers selling their cow carcasses to the supermarket. The screenplay wallows in brutal violence and conspicuous, gratuitous gore, including several highly symbolic beheadings. There are many nice touches here, including one in which our vapid tourists stand in front of a sign claiming "Juicy Burgers!", blithely unaware that the sign refers to them, and their dreadful short-term future. When our tourists eat their own "Juicy Burgers," they grimace at the strange taste of the meat, and make all sorts of disgusting slurping noises, but most tellingly, they do not stop eating the burgers because, after all, "meat is meat." Among a largely interchangeable cast, the undisputed highlight is Chuck Ellis as Benny, a mentally-challenged fellow who is the closest thing to a sympathetic character in the whole film. In fact, Benny, who is an animal lover trapped in a tribe of lowly carnivores, finishes the film by finally coming to terms with his father's systemic abuse of him and his brothers, and in a long-coming act of rebellion, finally fells the corrupt patriarch. Another fellow, Elwood, is so emotionally twisted that whenever he spies "new meat," i.e. our tourists, he cannot control his bladder - a more vivid depiction of mental feebleness bordering on insanity cannot be imagined. In the film's climax, the Urbans inexplicably amass some rather astonishing survival skills when called upon protect themselves, a strange notion which suggests that the screenplay was intended more as allegory for war than a straightforward narrative. In fact, director Alex was supposedly a Vietnam Veteran, and if so that might explain the film's war-like dynamic, where the rurals represent the Vietnamese, while the urbans are the invading U.S. soldiers. Indeed, Lunch Meat might have been the director's much-needed creative catharsis from experiencing (likely very similar) jungle-based slaughter during his term of duty, perhaps exocrising some of the trauma and guilt of being part of an uninvited, sinister, well-armed invading force. Several of the killing and ambush methods do indeed evoke the methods of jungle warfare, the dire survivalist mentality throughout the picture does underscore that human conflict is, in essence, war. In everyday life as well as war, we are all somebody's Lunch Meat. Even though it may be to some nothing more than a low-budget ripoff of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Lunch Meat has a visceral look and allegorical subtext which makes it quite brilliant. It was Kirk Alex' gift to the world, his labor of love, and we should be ever thankful that beautiful little films such as this exist, far from the suffocating swamp of bloated corporate Hollywood.

Don't let the box fool you.....

[G.I.S.M. · 16 April 1999]

A truly lame film. The box depicts a freaky looking redneck covered in blood eating a severed arm, the scene does not appear in the movie!!! Most of the movie contained scenes of a bunch of redneck retards chasing people through the woods, with little gore. A total waste of time!

This movie is top shelf, a most see for all cult horror buff/fans.

[christoangels · 10/10 · 28 March 2012]

The dynamics of this 8mm horror movie are by far the best in category, cinematography is excellent, the cast is perfectly matched for their roles, the plot is very similar to " Chain Saw Massacre " you are thrust into the world of four young people from the soft side of Los Angelas California, on there journey for fun and relaxation, they stop for a much needed LUNCH break. This is where the true horror of there venture begins. On a sunny California Spring day, after a long voyage they stop at an out-of-the-way, off the main highway food/rest area. Enjoying there LUNCH MEAT sandwiches. The tasty secret ingredient is all to overpowering for there taste buds, but what is the secret ingredient ??, .... RENT THE MOVIE AND YOU CAN ANSWER MY QUESTION. THIS MOVIE IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART !!!

Lunch Meat-Title Tells It

[horror7777 · 12 February 2001]

Some of you might have been turned away from this "gory" film, but might I explain to you, this film is equivalent to an elementary school TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. It is lame and stupid and the goriest thing about this B-Movie mistake is its cover. The reviewer before me said it all- he is absolutely correct! The title does explain it all. Although this film is more like leftover lunch meat. It's moldy, you don't want to go near it, it turns you off, and it surprises you how it can look so good-yet taste so bad! As you can imagine, I'm pretty ticked off. I bought this film-though cheap and used-expecting another gory massacre, produced well on a low budget. What I got was a PG TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. There is nothing redeeming or interesting here for horror fans, and don't waste the money to rent it. The characters that are described on the back of the box are described as sick cannibals. "Paw is the father, his sons use shovels and drills to cut up people in the San Barnardino mountains and then they sell their inner organs as lunch meat in a restaurant in the local city." Sure, this happens, and the majority of the gore happens in the first ten minutes of the film, because after that, it becomes more and more like an extremely pointless and boring chase in the woods. The characters are barely developed and I didn't care whether they lived or died.

WELL, to sum it all up, this film is a pointless boring mockery of good B-Movies. Not even cheap films can be this bad. But if you must, then go ahead-because this film does have nice scenery-to say the least! I'd give this film *1/2 out of ****.