- Mayo Lodge Members: Mayonnaise is more than sandwich spread. It's in our hearts and in our heads.
- Miller's Daughter: There, I was visited by a bizarre, strange imp of a man.
- Sam Shovel: Pee Wee Herman?
- Miller's Daughter: Not *that* strange.
- Cinderella's Stepmother: While we're gone, I want you to sweep the chimney!
- Stepsister Janet: And chop the firewood!
- Stepsister Latoya: And finish up that radiation research in the basement!
- Game Show Announcer: It's a washer! It's a dryer! It's a reason for living!
- Sthick: There's a comedy club in town.
- Prince Gordo: Yeah, I know. Catch a Rising Jester.
- Sthick: Tonight's open-mike night.
- Prince Gordo: Poor Mike!