- Barney: Why does that guy in Halloween try and kill Jamie Lee Curtis?... Why do those dumb kids keep going back to Camp Crystal Lake- letting Jason hack and chop them?
- Tina: [confronted by the killer and thinking it's a joke] Oh, so what are you going to do, kill me?... Just don't mess up my hair, okay?
- Barney: These things don't happen in New York! I just hope a guy in a hockey mask named Jason doesn't show up!
- Barney: [On learning some of his fellow med-students are going to make out] You're going to have sex?... Don't!... Every time someone has sex in a horror story they get murdered!"
- Freddy: You're miles away from anyone. What better place for a group of young interns to come and relax?