The Comic Strip Presents (TV Series)
Mr. Jolly Lives Next Door (1988)
Nicholas Parsons: Nicholas Parsons
Quotes
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[Nicholas Parsons knocks on Mr Jolly's door]
Mr. Jolly : [calling through door] Who is it?
Nicholas Parsons : Nicholas Parsons.
Mr. Jolly : Fuck off.
Nicholas Parsons : I said Nicholas Parsons.
Mr. Jolly : I know, fuck off. I don't care if you're Bob Monkhouse, fuck off.
Nicholas Parsons : Do you think I could use your telephone?
[Mr Jolly opens the door]
Mr. Jolly : Do I have to spell it out? F-U...
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Nicholas Parsons : What is this game?
Dreamytime Escort : [drunkenly] Well, these are the rules.
Nicholas Parsons : Yes?
Dreamytime Escort : I go out of the room.
Nicholas Parsons : Yes?
Dreamytime Escort : Then...
Nicholas Parsons : Yes?
Dreamytime Escort : I come back in.
Nicholas Parsons : Yes?
Dreamytime Escort : You got that?
Nicholas Parsons : Yes.
Dreamytime Escort : Right. I'll go first.
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Nicholas Parsons : What exactly was your winning slogan?
Dreamytime Escort : Never, ever, bloody anything ever!
Nicholas Parsons : And that was your winning slogan?
Dreamytime Escort : That's the one, Nicky. I've lived my life by that rule.
Nicholas Parsons : "I would like to spend an evening with Nicholas Parsons because...never, ever, ever, bloody anything ever"?
Dreamytime Escort : You're pissed, aren't you, Nicholas?
-
Dreamytime Escort : So, Nicholas. I suppose you spend most of your time opening supermarkets and heliports, these days.
Nicholas Parsons : Well, yes. You... You know how it is. As a matter of fact tomorrow I am opening an off-license.
Dreamytime Escort : [both Dreamytime Escorts stare at Nicholas] You're opening an off-license?
Nicholas Parsons : Yes, an off-license.
Dreamytime Escort : GOD! Imagine being so important you can open an off-license!
Dreamytime Escort : And we're with him right now, aren't we Nicky baby?
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Dreamytime Escort : Yes yes yes, it's a fantastic house, Nicholas. Now. Have you got any dirty films?
Nicholas Parsons : No!
Dreamytime Escort : You BASTARD!