Look Who's Talking Too (1990)

Bruce Willis: Mikey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mollie Ubriacco : Mommy is a girl, so I don't have a penis.

  James Ubriacco : But she's got some set of balls.

  Mollie Ubriacco : But Daddy is a big...

  Mikey : Penis!

• Mikey : Got you a gift for coming into the world, here it is,

  [offers her a stuffed cow] 

  Mikey : Have a cow, honey.

  [Julie begins to bawl] 

  Mikey : Alright don't have a cow.

• Mikey : Poor Daddy, hanging out with buttholes all day long.

• Mikey : Eddie what ya say we go and get an apple juice?

  Eddie : Nah Mike I'm into my little training thing

  Mikey : What kinda training thing?

  Eddie : You know I'm wearing the trainin pants man

  Mikey : Oh man, don't tell me you're goin along with this potty business too?

  Eddie : We have to Mike cos the Toilet man says so

  Mikey : Who?

  Eddie : Mr Toilet man, he likes to eat your doody an your pee-pee. So I say give it to him

  Mikey : Eat your doody and your pee-pee who told you that?

  Eddie : My mother, why? You callin her a liar?

  Mikey : No

  Eddie : She told me diapers are for babies

  Mikey : But eat your doody and your pee-pee? Eddie the thought is too hideous to comprehend

• Mikey : [Mollie's boss is yelling at her, Mikey under the desk pours white-out on his shoes]  Here shoes, have a drink. You mess with my mother, you mess with me.

• Mollie Ubriacco : [Mikey and Julie come down on the elevator]  How did you get down here?

  Mikey : We just walked.

  Julie : Technically, I was pushed.

• [Mikey is learning the difference between men and women] 

  Mikey : [Is shown a picture of a man]  Penis.

  [Is shown a picture of a woman] 

  Mikey : No penis.

  [Is shown a picture of George Bush] 

  Mikey : [Thinking]  Hmm, that's a tough one.

• Mikey : [thinking]  Hmm, Eddie gets all the girls, he's not wearing a diaper maybe I oughta give this potty thing a try.

  [Jumping and singing] 

  Mikey : When you have to pee you jump up and down but sometimes nothing comes out. So you jump up and down a little more. I don't have to pee... I don't have to pee... I do have to pee and I better go somewhere, here I go...

  [Realises he's wet himself] 

  Mikey : That stuff really sneaks up on you!

• Julie : [when Julie is getting an injection, looking at the needle]  What's that?

  Mikey : Oh, God, I can't watch this part.

  Julie : Oh my God!

  [cries hysterically] 

  Julie : .

  Mikey : Smarts, does it? Hm? Hurts just a little?

  Julie : Will this pain *ever* go away?

  Mikey : Maybe it will... or maybe it won't

  [smiles] 

  Mikey : .

• Mikey : I don't care what you say, I'm not pooping in that thing. I've got my standards.

• James Ubriacco : When you wanna take a pee-pee okay you do it in here and you just do this, you take it out

  [Pretends to unzip his fly] 

  Mollie Ubriacco : Oh come on

  James Ubriacco : What?

  Mikey : Dad, who's kidding who huh?

  James Ubriacco : And the same token, when you wanna take a dump

  Mollie Ubriacco : Poo-poo

  Mikey : This is a joke right?

  James Ubriacco : I know it sounds disgusting Mike but you know you gotta trust me on this okay

  Mikey : Let me get this straight you want me to take a dump outside my diaper?

• Mikey : [Pouring white-out on his mother's supervisor's shoes]  La la la la la. Here, shoes, have a drink.