Dennis the Menace (1993)
Kellen Hathaway: Joey
Photos
Quotes
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Margaret : You know why men are so lousey when it comes to taking care of babies?
Dennis : They have better things to do.
Margaret : Like what? Play golf and drink beer?
Dennis : No, like hunting, having wars, driving cars, shaving, cleaning fish. Do you know how to do that?
Joey : Me?
Dennis : Margaret.
Joey : Oh, okay.
Margaret : If you didn't have women, you wouldn't have babies, which means you wouldn't have people.
Joey : And if you didn't have men, who'd drive the ladies to the hospital?
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Margaret : This things been here our whole life and we never knew it.
Joey : Do you think anybody lived in it?
Dennis : Just squirrels and birds.
Joey : It looks kind of junky.
Dennis : We'll fix it up.
Margaret : Oh, good, I'll be the decorator. We'll put on a special room for the babies and a powder room for when we have company.
Dennis : Forts don't have powder rooms.
Margaret : Oh, really? Where do the soldiers' wives go to freshen up?
Joey : Soldiers don't have wives, stupid.
Margaret : Don't call me stupid, baby rump kisser!
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Dennis : The most important thing is they marry the women, then the women can go down and get the baby.
Margaret : The baby is in her stomach.
Dennis : She has to get it installed. Her stomach isn't just filled up with babies.
Margaret : Who installed some?
Dennis : A minister and a doctor.
Margaret : How?
Dennis : 'How'?
Joey : [laughs] She wants to know how?
[Joey continues laughing but stops as Margaret furiosuly glares at him]
Margaret : Tell me, Dennis. How?
Dennis : The bellybutton-it opens up.
Margaret : How come men have them?
Dennis : So they don't look weird in bathing suits.
[Margaret goes disapproved]