Double, Double Toil and Trouble (1993 TV Movie)
Babs Chula: Madame Lulu
Quotes
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Customer : So exactly when does this beautiful woman fall in love with me?
Madame Lulu : Any day now darling. Any day now.
Mr. N : Madame Lulu.
Madame Lulu : [Looking for the next customer] Next.
Mr. N : Madame Lulu, can I have a word with you?
Madame Lulu : Please, not to stand in the way of the paying customers. Next.
Mr. N : Uh, Lulu, these young ladies need some advice.
Madame Lulu : Do you have $5?
[the twins shake their heads no]
Madame Lulu : Next.
Mr. N : Lulu, how would you like for me to tell these nice people that you're not from Romania at all, but you're from Brooklyn?
Madame Lulu : How would you like me to tell these little girls that the closest you ever been to Buckingham Palace is a royal flush?
Mr. N : Oh ha ha ha!
Madame Lulu : All right, make it fast.
Mr. N : These young ladies have an aunt who's going to some sort of witches' gathering tonight, and I thought since these loonies come to you, you may have an idea where they're getting together.
Madame Lulu : I have no idea, next!
Kelly Farmer : But can't you look into your crystal ball?
Madame Lulu : What are you, nuts?
Lynn Farmer : What are you, a phony baloney?
Madame Lulu : [Feeling called out] All right. All right.
[Pretends to look into the future]
Madame Lulu : Yes! The vision is coming to me now. I see a gathering high on a mountaintops where owls call. Hoo! Hoo! OK? Now beat it.
Lynn Farmer : Well, can't you be more specific, like how you get there?
Madame Lulu : What, for a $5 IOU, you want a city map?
[Lynn rotates her wand, causing the crystal ball to actually work, Lulu gasps]
Madame Lulu : What'd she do to my crystal ball? What's going on?
Mr. N : Hey, I recognize that joint! The gathering must be down at the old abandoned warehouse district.
Kelly Farmer : On Halloween?
Mr. N : Hey, that's really good, Lulu. And all this time I thought you were just a fake.
[Madame Lulu faints]
Kelly Farmer : Has she been doing this for very long?