Clerks (1994) Poster

(1994)

Jason Mewes: Jay

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Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith, Leslie Hope, and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994) Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Clerks (1994)

Quotes 

  • Indecisive Video Customer : They say so much, but they never tell you if it's any good. Are either one of these any good? Sir?

    Randal Graves : What?

    Indecisive Video Customer : Are either one of these any good?

    Randal Graves : I don't watch movies.

    Indecisive Video Customer : Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?

    Randal Graves : I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.

    Indecisive Video Customer : You mean you haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these?

    Randal Graves : Nope.

    Indecisive Video Customer : [turns around, then shows Randal the same movies]  Well, what about these two?

    Randal Graves : Oh, they suck.

    Indecisive Video Customer : These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention!

    Randal Graves : No, I wasn't.

    Indecisive Video Customer : I don't think your manager would appreciate it if...

    Randal Graves : I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.

    Indecisive Video Customer : I beg your pardon?

    Randal Graves : Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.

    Indecisive Video Customer : I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying.

    Randal Graves : And I hope it feels good.

    Indecisive Video Customer : You hope *what* feels good?

    Randal Graves : I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?

    Indecisive Video Customer : Well, this is the last time I rent here.

    Randal Graves : You'll be missed.

    Indecisive Video Customer : Screw you!

    [leaves] 

    Randal Graves : [runs to the door]  Hey! You're not allowed to rent here anymore!

    Jay : [outside; has no idea what's going on]  Yeah!

  • Jay : Yeah. Silent Bob, you're a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal.

    [Jay makes a rude head gesture and car horn honks] 

    Jay : Ewww, you fucking faggot, I hate guys. I LOVE WOMEN!

  • [after losing a hockey ball from the roof] 

    Dante Hicks : Are there any balls down there?

    Jay : About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

  • Olaf Oleeson : [singing]  My love for you is like a truck, BERZERKER! Would you like some making fuck, BERZERKER!

    Jay : [snickering]  That's fucking funny, man.

    Jay's Lady Friend : Did he say "making fuck"?

  • Jay : I feel good today, Silent Bob, we're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go to that party, we're gonna get some pussy, and I'm gonna fuck this bitch, I'll fuck this bitch, I'll fuck ANYTHING THAT MOVES!

    [to a man passing by on a bicycle just off screen] 

    Jay : Yo, what the fuck you lookin' at? I'll kick your fuckin' ass! Shit yeah.

    [to Silent Bob] 

    Jay : Doesn't that mother fucker owe me 10 bucks? You know, fuckin' tonight, we're gonna rip off this fucker's head, and tear out his fuckin' soul. Remind me if he tries to buy something, I'm gonna shit in the motherfucker's bag.

    [to two women in a passing car just off screen] 

    Jay : Hey, what's up babes? What's up, sluts?

  • Jay : [singing]  Noinch, Noinch, Noinch, Schmokin Weed, Schmokin' Weed, Doin' Coke, Drinkin' Beers...

  • Jay : I dunno dude, that Caitlin chick's nice, but I've seen that Veronica girl doing shit for you all the time. I saw her rubbing your back, fucking comes and brings you food. Didn't I see her change your tire once?

    Dante Hicks : Hey-hey, you know, I jacked up the car, all she did was unloosen the nuts and put the tire on.

    Jay : I dunno, she does a lot for you.

    Dante Hicks : She's my girlfriend.

    Jay : I had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me is weed and shit. Shit my grandmother used to say 'What's better, fuckin', a good plate with nothin' on it... ' no wait I fucked up. 'What's a good plate with nothing on it?'

    Dante Hicks : Meaning?

    Jay : I dunno, she was senile and shit, she used to fuckin' piss herself all the time, and shit herself. Come on, Silent Bob, lets get the fuck out of this fucking jip joint, with this fucking faggot Dante, you cock smoker!

  • Dante Hicks : How many times have I told you not to be dealing in front of the store?

    Jay : I'm not dealin', man. What you talkin' about?

    Burner Looking for Weed : Hey, you got anything, man?

    Jay : Yeah, what you want?

  • Jay : I don't care if she's my cousin or not, I'm gonna knock those boots again tonight.

  • [about Silent Bob's Russian Cousin] 

    Jay's Lady Friend : He only speaks Russian?

    Jay : Naw, he speaks some English, but he can't all speak it good like we do.

  • Dante Hicks : Just go. Just go open the video store!

    Jay : Yeah! Open the video store!

    Randal Graves : Shut the fuck up, junkie!

  • Jay : Pack o' wraps, my brotherman, time to kick back, drink some beers and shmoke some weed!

  • Jay : Hey what you want, Grizzly Adams?

  • Jay : Olaf, what part of Russia you from?

    Olaf Oleeson : Moscow.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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