- Dean Al Valentine: [In a meeting with the rest of the professors, Dean Valentine tries to come up with a way to make the school more popular for young people. One professor suggests a scholarship program to which Dean Valentine detests immediately] No, no, no. I'm tired of trying to buy students.
- Dean Al Valentine: I want them fighting to get in here.
- Dean Al Valentine: Begging us for applications.
- Dean Al Valentine: And I mean the best students too!
- Dean Al Valentine: [Dean Valentines shows the professors a list of which students should go in order to boost more popularity for incoming new students] If you want the garden to grow, you weave it. If you want the gazelle herd to thrive, you let the slow ones get eaten. Therefore, I say we get rid of them all!
- Prof. Miles Quigley: Look Dean, we're not talking about weeds or gazelles or whatever. We're talking about kids. Kids that should be encouraged. Not scorned. Kids that should have the opportunity to do their best. 'That' is what Medfield has ALWAYS been about. That's why I came here to teach. We're not some academic pressure cooker. Kids come to this school to learn and maybe, just maybe get a better understanding about themselves. We're the little school with a big heart.
- Dean Al Valentine: "Contest thing"?
- [Frustrated, he turns to the rest of his colleagues]
- Dean Al Valentine: And he teaches English...
- [shakes his head]
- Dean Al Valentine: [after a dramatic pause. Dean Valentine pretends to be touched and cry] I think that's the most beautiful thing that you-
- [Looks at the rest of his colleagues]
- Dean Al Valentine: Do you love this man?
- [Stops mocking now]
- Dean Al Valentine: What's wrong with you? That's the problem with you teacher types, you know? You got your head in the closet. Not practical. Like you're little computer purchase.
- Prof. Miles Quigley: [sighs. He realizes he has failed to get through to the Dean] I was just trying to help the school get with the eighties. For crying out loud. It was a small purchase.
- [He gets up from his seat]
- Prof. Miles Quigley: If you'll excuse me, I have to go 'tend' my weeds.
- [He glares at Dean]
- Prof. Miles Quigley: That's what we're here for, you know?
- Dean Al Valentine: I know what you meant.
- Dean Al Valentine: Let me tell you something about the College Knowledge Bowl.
- Dean Al Valentine: Last time Medfield competed, we placed 64th.
- Dean Al Valentine: Now that's not bad... until you consider that the total number of schools in the competition was ALSO 64!
- Dean Al Valentine: In other words, LAST!
- Dean Al Valentine: Janitors left us after that...