Dharma & Greg (1997–2002)
Jenna Elfman: Dharma Finkelstein Montgomery
Photos
Quotes
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Dharma : [answering Greg's cell phone, after having slept with Greg] Greg's pants. He's not in them right now.
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Dharma : Welcome to the Pompous Room. May I check Madame's pole, or will she be keeping it up her butt?
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Greg : Justice Department
Treasury Officer : Treasury Department
Dharma : San Francisco Library
Jane Deaux : Organ Donor
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Dharma : [about running opponent Karen Love] It's her name. I mean, how can you *not* vote for "care and love"? Guess I might as well change my name to "lower taxes and free balloons for all the kids."
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Dharma : Yeah, yeah, blah, blah! Here, have some cake.
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Dharma : [standing on the roof with a news helicopter overhead] I celebrate nature's awakening from her winter slumber! This is my dance to the spring!
[takes her robe off]
Greg : [watching the news downstairs]
[yells]
Greg : Dharmaaaaaaaa!
[runs out]
TV News Reporter : [from the TV] My God, I *love* this job!
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Greg : [while Abby is dealing tarot cards] Can we just get this over with? Hit me.
Dharma : [looks at the card] *Death*!
Greg : Hit me again.
Abigail Kathleen 'Abby' O'Neil : Now, Dharma, "death" doesn't always mean death. Sometimes it just means a change is coming.
Greg : Yeah! Like a haircut.
Dharma : [yells] I didn't dream you died in a fiery haircut!
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Dharma : [to Greg] Who sprinkled YOU with horny dust this morning?
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Dharma : One time when I was babysitting your monkey, I took him to a fancy party without telling you.
Jane Deaux : Is that where he started smoking again?
Dharma : MmmHmm...
Jane Deaux : Do you know how hard it is to get a nicotine patch to stick to a monkey?
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Jane Deaux : What's that? It smells like you're frying vomit!
Dharma : Close. I'm making a great big pot of Haggis
Jane Deaux : What have you been drinking?
Dharma : Scotch! Which was invented by the great Scotsman, Angus McBarf when his wife told him what was for dinner.