Almost Heroes (1998)
Patrick Cranshaw: Jackson
Photos
Quotes
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Jackson : Sir, Higgins has a story.
Edwards : Well, Higgins the floor is yours.
Higgins : This particular event happened last summer on my uncle's farm in Virginia. My brother and I had just finished cutting a field of hay and were enjoying the evening meal under the shade of an elm tree. He went down for water by the creek and when he was gone, I took a bowl that was filled with delicious plum pudding and placed into it, not one, but two large pieces of sheep shit. When he returned I encouraged him to taste the plum pudding... And as sure as Im standing before you, he did! He ate it all. Shit Pudding!
Edwards : You got your brother to eat sheep dung. That is a very interesting story.
Hunt : Tell him the ending, that's the best part.
Higgins : Oh yeah. To be perfectly honest with you sir, I have no brother. It was me. I ate sheep shit! Swear to God.
Edwards : Clever twist there on the ending.
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Jackson : I'm looking for Leslie Edwards.
Edwards : I am Leslie Edwards.
Jackson : M'name's Jackson. It's been my lifelong dream to see the Pacific Ocean before I die. Please take me with you.
Hunt : An old bag of bones like you wouldn't make it 100 yards upriver.
Jackson : On my worst day, I could still beat the stuffin' outta you. You... puffed-up crow's cock!
Hunt : No, you couldn't.
Jackson : [to Hunt] I know.
[to Edwards]
Jackson : Please take me with you! I must see the Pacific! Can you deny an old man his dream?
Edwards : I cannot, and I will not.
[Hunt reacts with severe disapproval, shaking his head]
Edwards : Jackson, you may accompany us.
[Jackson is overjoyed]
Hunt : [storms away] Horse's ass!
Jackson : [calls after him] Turd!
Edwards : Help us load the boats.
Jackson : [hurries away] Sorry; can't do. I'm an old man.