George of the Jungle (1997)
Leslie Mann: Ursula Stanhope
Photos
Quotes
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Ursula Stanhope : And you can watch TV, and eat, and relax, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Just stay here.
Narrator : Stay here? George is king of the jungle. No four walls built by modern man can contain him
George : Not true. George have every intention of doing exactly what Ursula say.
Narrator : Really? Is that so?
George : For a while.
[grins]
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George : Dog eat dog? Dog eat dog here?
Ursula Stanhope : No, that's not what I meant.
George : George never bringing Shep here. Uh uh. Never.
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Ursula Stanhope : [on George] Did you just say "love"?
Beatrice Stanhope : [alarmed] No...
Ursula Stanhope : You did. You're right...
Beatrice Stanhope : Ursula... Don't say it...
Ursula Stanhope : I love him! I'm out of here.
Beatrice Stanhope : Ursula! You can't love him! Arthur, say something!
Arthur Stanhope : Be careful out there, honey.
Beatrice Stanhope : [shouts] What?
Ursula Stanhope : Goodbye, Daddy.
[kisses him, then runs out of the room]
Beatrice Stanhope : Ursula, come back! Arthur, do something!
Arthur Stanhope : What would you have me do? There's obviously no stopping her.
Beatrice Stanhope : Oh, God!
[she downs the rest of her drink, then goes running after Ursula]
Beatrice Stanhope : [shouts] Ursula!
Arthur Stanhope : [under his breath] God, that woman's a pain in the a - .
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Narrator : Well, Ursula's fiancè is in prison, and there's a jungle man sleeping on her balcony. She could use a best friend right now.
Betsy : Hi.
Ursula Stanhope : Hi.
Betsy : I got here as fast as I could. Where is he?
Ursula Stanhope : Oh, he's in the waterf... he's in the shower.
Betsy : Not anymore.
Ursula Stanhope : Oh! George.
[sees him naked]
George : Bad waterfall. First water get hot, then George slip on this strange yellow rock.
[sees Betsy]
George : Oh. Hi, George of Jungle.
Betsy : Charmed, I'm sure.
Ursula Stanhope : George, hold this big book.
[he holds book covering his front part]
Ursula Stanhope : Cover the booty.
[puts bowl on behind]
Ursula Stanhope : Let's get you some clothes. Sorry, Betsy.
George : Bye.
Betsy : No problem.
[to herself]
Betsy : Now I can see why they made him king of the jungle.
-
[Ursula screams at the sight of Ape]
George : No, no! It's all right! Ape friend! Ape make your breakfast!
Ursula Stanhope : [panicky] What does it want? What does it want?
Ape : "It" wants "its" Physician's Desk Reference, if you don't mind. Unless you'd rather die of dengue fever, of course.
Ursula Stanhope : [laughing hysterically] That is very funny!
Ape : [sarcastic] Ha, ha, ha...
Ursula Stanhope : I thought I heard the monkey talk!
-
Narrator : The young Miss Stanhope proceed to spill the beans.
Ursula Stanhope : So, anyway, I went to the jungle.
Narrator : Very quickly.
Ursula Stanhope : [her dialogue speeds up] You know, I wanted to get away before I got married, and then Lyle shows up. And nobody got along with Lyle; he was a big pain in the ass. And, anyway, so, he went off to the jungle by himself, and I'm sure I had to follow him. And a jungle man comes swinging in on a vine. Just swinging through, and he - the way he hit something. I don't know what happened, and the next thing I know is, Ii wake up...
Narrator : Until she got to the important part at the end.
Ursula Stanhope : [her speech goes back to normal] ... and the Lyle shot him. So Lyle's in jail and George is with me... and I don't want to marry Lyle anymore.
-
George : That close one, huh?
[grins]
Ursula Stanhope : Watch out for that tree!
[George looks up and Ursula's head hits branch, knocking her out]
George : Oops.
-
George : Sleep sweet, Ursula.
Ursula Stanhope : Sleep sweet, George.
-
Ursula Stanhope : So I'll tell my dad first thing in the morning.
Betsy : Make that second thing. First thing, I suggest you buy jungle man some clothes.
[George is wearing a dress]
George : Nice butt flap.
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George : [on Ursula's apartment balcony] This very high treehouse.
Ursula Stanhope : Mmm-hmm.
George : Good place to call friends from, sound carry.
Ursula Stanhope : Oh, no...
[George lets out jungle call]
Ursula Stanhope : ...the neighbors.
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Ursula Stanhope : And this is Neiman Marcus
George : Ooh! They have big shiny cave.
-
[as Thor aims his rifle at Shep, Ape roars and jumps out of the treehouse, landing the ground]
Ape : Run, Shep! Run for your life!
Max : Did that monkey just speak?
Thor : That monkey just spoke!
Ursula Stanhope : I *knew* it!
Lyle Van de Groot : He *talked*!
Max : [to Thor] Shoot it now.
Ape : [turns and notices Max and Thor] Hmm?
Max : [lowers Thor's rifle] With the tranquilizer gun, you idiot! The ape's worth a fortune!
George : *No*!
[runs towards Ape]
Lyle Van de Groot : [aims his handgun at George] Stop or I'll shoot!
[shoots George in slow motion]
Ape : No!
Lyle Van de Groot : No!
Ursula Stanhope : George!
[fade to white]
Narrator : Whoo! OK, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because, let's face it, he's the hero.
-
[after returning from Africa, Ursula phones her mother from a limousine]
Ursula's mother : You're sure you did not catch dengue fever?
Ursula Stanhope : No mother, I did not catch dengue fever.
Ursula's mother : Well, how's your temperature?
Ursula Stanhope : [puts a hand to her forehead] Normal.
Ursula's mother : Color of your tongue?
Ursula Stanhope : [checks it in the mirror] Pink.
Ursula's mother : What about your, uh, mmm-mmm?
Ursula Stanhope : [annoyed] Regular!
-
Narrator : Meanwhile, at a very big and expensive waterfall set, Ursula was amazed that she was lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.
Ursula Stanhope : ...and here I am lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.
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Ursula Stanhope : [going crazy] Why wouldn't an ape read textbooks and why wouldn't I find myself in a treehouse with room service and a Tarzan wannabe wearing a... What do you call that thing?
George : Buttflap.
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Ursula Stanhope : [semi-conscious] Mommy, make that monkey stop talking...
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Ursula Stanhope : [while looking at George's necklace] Did you fight a crocodile for this?
George : Oh, no. George not fight. Crocodile have toothache. George pull tooth. Crocodile give to George after. Gift. Good juju.
Ursula Stanhope : Juju?
George : Good luck. Protection.
Ursula Stanhope : [pulling gold ring with pink heart shaped stone off her finger] I have something like that,too. Wanna see?
George : Mm-hmm
Ursula Stanhope : It's not worth anything. I found it in a cereal box when I was ten. It's my good luck. My juju. Can I...
[Ursula puts the ring on George's necklace with his crocodile tooth]
Ursula Stanhope : I want you to have that.
George : For George? It's the nicest present George ever get. Thank you.
-
[repeated line]
Ursula Stanhope : [to Lyle] What are you doing here?
