You've Got Mail (1998)

Dave Chappelle: Kevin Jackson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kevin : [At Cafe Lalo, spying on "Shopgirl"]  You know what? She looks... I mean, she almost has the same coloring as... that Kathleen Kelly person.

  Joe Fox : Kathleen Kelly with the little bookstore?

  Kevin : Well, why not? You said you thought she was attractive.

  Joe Fox : Absolutely, yes, why not. Who cares about Kathleen Kelly?

  Kevin : Well... if you don't like Kathleen Kelly, I can tell you right now... you ain't gonna like this girl.

  Joe Fox : Why not?

  Kevin : Because it *is* Kathleen Kelly.

• Kevin : I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.

• Joe Fox : [a clip on the news]  I sell cheap books, I do. So sue me.

  T.V. Reporter : [a clip on the news]  And that, in a nutshell, is the Fox Books philosophy.

  Joe Fox : Hey!

  Kevin : That's what you said?

  Joe Fox : Well... yeah, that's not *all* I said. I said - aww, I can't believe those bastards! I said we were great. I said you could sit and read for hours and no one will bother you. I said we have a hundred and fifty thousand titles. I showed them the New York section. I said we were a goddamn piazza! A place in the city where people can mingle and mix and be.

  Kevin : Piazza?

  Joe Fox : I was eloquent. Shit!

  Kevin : Piazza...

• Joe Fox : [on the new Fox Books superstore]  Hey, you know what? We should announce ourselves to the neighborhood. Just let them know, here we come.

  Kevin : Oh, no, this is the Upper West Side, man. We might as well tell 'em we're opening up a crack house. They're gonna hate us. Soon as they hear, they're gonna be lining up...

  Joe Fox , Kevin : - to picket the big bad chain store...

  Kevin : - that's out to destroy...

  Joe Fox : - everything they hold dear.

  Kevin : Yeah.

  Joe Fox : Do you know what? We are going to seduce them. We're going to seduce them with our square footage, and our discounts, and our deep armchairs, and...

  Joe Fox , Kevin : Our cappuccino.

  Joe Fox : That's right. They're going hate us at the beginning, but...

  Joe Fox , Kevin : But we'll get 'em in the end.

  Joe Fox : Do you know why?

  Kevin : Why?

  Joe Fox : Because we're going to sell them cheap books and legal addictive stimulants. In the meantime, we'll just put up a big sign: "Coming soon: a FoxBooks superstore and the end of civilization as you know it."

• Kevin : The electrical contractor called. His truck hit a deer last night, so he's not going to be here until tomorrow. And the upstairs shelves are delayed because the shipment of pine we ordered has beetles.

  Joe Fox : Very good. *Very* good.

  Kevin : And we got a fifty-thousand dollar ticket for construction workers peeing off the roof.

  Joe Fox : Great, that is great!