- Bob: You know, I've tried to be a friend of yours. No question about that, you'll admit that. Maybe if I haven't been a friend of yours, maybe I made things too easy for you. What the hell, I've been down before. When I was your age, I didn't always have a job. I got fired. I lost jobs, but I always went back and got another one. I had all kinds of jobs. Lumberjack, bartender, stevedore, sandhog, iron worker... name it, I've done everything. I'm not afraid to work. I don't see you going out and really looking for a job. Suddenly, it dawned on me. Maybe you don't go looking for a job because somebody might say, "okay, you're hired". Then you have a job. You have a commitment. You got to be there Monday morning, shaved up and ready to work. You'd rather sit around and feel sorry for yourself, wearing old clothes and hand-me-downs, remakes. Oh, everyone is sorry for poor Micro. Yeah, but is Micro sorry? No, he's glad 'cause he doesn't have to get up early to do any work. Maybe I'm doing you an injustice. There's a lot of good in you, Micro or I wouldn't be wasting my time. You're like the son I never had. But I'm spoiling you with kindness. Now I got an old suit for you, you look well, you got two hands and you can do work. There's nothing wrong with you. I want you to go out and get a job or I gotta say this. I'm through helping you. Now, it's up to you. You do it, or I'm through with you. And you're going to lose the best friend you ever had.
- Micro: All done, Bob. Your sink is fixed.
- Bob: Don't interrupt me. You know, I'm beginning to see something. I'm beginning to think a good day's work will kill you.
- Micro: Probably.
- Bob: Hey, did you hear anything I said?
- Micro: Yeah, you said I should stop smoking.
- Bartender: [to Micro] Suit yourself, Micro. You can soak off every bit of life that comes your way. You can use people, not pay rent, pull scams, lie beg borrow and steal. But sooner or later you're gonna have to pay. And sooner or later you're gonna have do something. You're selfish, self-loathing, egocentric, semi-cool, grunge-lite, white trash, "Jerky Boy" attitude is getting very old. I'm sick of hearing about your meager little world. So why don't you take that little pinhead of yours that sits upon that gangling frame, and stick it straight up your ass? I for one have seen enough.
- T: [to Micro] I think she likes you.
- T, Clash, Micro, Tammy, Max (Speed Dealer), Godzilla, Stoner #1, Stoner #2, Shy Guitarist, Princess: [group chant] I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America. And to the republic, for which it stands. One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all!
- Clash: You think you've seen some shit? I'm fuckin' 17 years old and i've seen more shit than all four of you put together.
- Max (Speed Dealer): You're so full of shit Clash.
- Clash: You wanna talk about God? Ya I met him. Kicked his ass.
- 16 Year Old Girl: What's in that book?
- T: Just poems.
- 16 Year Old Girl: Can you read me some?
- T: No, they're kinda personal.
- 16 Year Old Girl: Aw, come on.
- T: Alright.
- [begins reading poem]
- T: "On a stool I sit and shit. My tool is ready to suck but I can't fuck. I think about my years and shed tears and drink beer and shit. So here I sit, jerking my meat, singing songs sweet, thinking about whole wheat. Mother? I wanna fuck you. Father? I wanna fuck you too!"
- 16 Year Old Girl, Young Boy at Party, Punk Rocker: [Group] Ha ha ha ha!
- T: What? That's funny? You think that's funny?
- Micro: [Hail Micro! fantasy sequence]
- [rapping]
- Micro: "Two weeks ago I couldn't pay my rent. Now i'm running for President. So say hello to your new leader. Stand up and show you ain't no bleeder. Get in line, reap what I sow, do what I say, know what I know."
- Wank, Princess, Stoner #1, Tammy, Max (Speed Dealer), Godzilla, Mohawk Punk, Motormouth, Young Boy at Party: [group chant] "Hail Micro!"
- Bartender: How'd it go in court today?
- Micro: I lost. I was totally fucked up.
- Bartender: [rolls eyes sarcastically] What else is new? So, when do you have to move?
- Micro: I dunno, but I was talking to this guy and he says if I file the right extensions I can get like 3 to 5 more months. Of course my credit will be shot. But that's already fucked up.
- Colonel Perry: You win some you lose some kid. No hard feelings?
- Micro: No hard feelings.
- Colonel Perry: You can stay here another night if you need to. Just get me those keys in the morning.
- Micro: Sure thing, Colonel.
- Colonel Perry: I'm sure the owner would be glad to work out some kind of payment plan for the money you owe him. I'll even put in a good word for you.
- Micro: I appreciate that.
- Colonel Perry: You're welcome. You know, Micro? I should've warned you. I fought in two wars and I never lost a battle. This? This is chicken shit to me. You're playing with a seasoned vet. A trained killer with a keen sense of danger. Always alert, always ready for the next battle. I gotta tell ya. You didn't stand much of a chance.
- Micro: I should've known.