- [referring to Arnaz's autobiography]
- Charo: What did you call your book?
- Desi Arnaz: A Book.
- Charo: You called your book "A Book?"
- Desi Arnaz: Yeah, what do you expect me to call it, "A Helicopter?" I wrote a book, I called it "A Book!"
- Groucho Marx: Remember the old days, when we used to chase the girls?
- George Burns: I even remember when we caught them.
- Dean Martin: Boy, I hate these New Year's Eve parties.
- Don Knotts: Dean, New Year's Eve was three months ago.
- Dean Martin: Really? I better hurry up or I'll miss the Rosebowl game!
- Groucho Marx: George, tell me something. Am I having a good time?
- George Burns: Can you still flick your Bic?
- Groucho Marx: What's a Bic?
- George Burns: You're not having a good time.