Two on the Tiles (1951) Poster

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6/10
Bedroom Blackmail
brice-189 August 2010
John Guillermin had just started his career a a British director when he made this trifling B picture, from a neat screenplay by Alec Coppel who wrote scripts for many major films and was Oscar-nominated for the Alec Guinness hit 'The Captain's Paradise'. Their star, Herbert Lom, a refugees from Czechoslovakia (who played Napoleon twice in his long career and the psychiatrist in the sensational 'The Seventh Veil') was here a suave butler who, with his seductive wife Ingeborg Wells (later, I believe, a Hammer Horror star), tries a spot of blackmail on erring couple Hugh McDermott and Brenda Bruce. Canadian McDermott is somewhat OTT, and Bruce, a gifted comedienne, isn't quite glamorous enough, but the film (a bit risqué for 1951!) is rather good fun and doesn't outstay its welcome. Some of the action must have been on a liner (I last saw the film in the year of its release!) because children's TV favourite Humphrey Lestocq is cast as a purser.
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2/10
Sauce on a Shoestring
richardchatten12 February 2020
A tinny, galumphing farce by Alex Coppel (who later shared screenplay credit on 'Vertigo'!) partly set in Paris without leaving Walton-on-Thames; which I remember seeing on TV when I was ten with Brian Rix as the husband and Derek Farr as the butler.

In addition to a swarthy young (pre-toupee) Herbert Lom as the malevolent butler, it's also nice to see a young Brenda Bruce in a ditzy role that would have been played by Glynis Johns if they could have afforded her. She even sings a couple of songs (albeit obviously dubbed)!
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3/10
Woeful farce
malcolmgsw3 July 2016
Hugh Mcdermett and Brenda Bruce play a married couple who each have a liaison with a member of the opposite sex whilst apart in Paris.Their butler,Herbert Lon hears about their antics which are unknown to the other party.He decides that it offers the opportunity for some blackmail.For some reason Mcdermett plays his part as if he is on some sort of stimulant as he is simply antic.He soon becomes very irritating and you just wish he would just shut up.Herbert Lon is an oasis of calm in this storm.Little surprise he became such a fine comedy actor.Humphrey Lestoq who rose to fame in the children's TV programme Whirlygig plays a naval officer.Clearly the director had little understanding of the making of a comedy film.
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1/10
Dreadful.
ouzman-115 June 2018
Sometimes you watch these things to admire the past, the style, the cars and the curiosity of finding emerging talent that graced future years of cinema.

How anyone could have found a gig after this awful flick beggars belief. It is not even saved by the backdrop of gay Paris. Can't believe that these actors - with unique special needs of overacting and uselessness - could ever be remembered?

I guess Lom's small role can be appreciated. Brenda Bruce could never make stardom after this and yet was honoured by her peers. She would be embarrassed by this legacy of her work and all should feel ashamed by this film's existence.
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3/10
If they tried to stretch this out anymore, it would snap.
mark.waltz6 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
An innocuous British comedy with musical interludes, this is the stuff that sitcoms are made, and take away the specialties and most of the silly sketch like interruptions, this wouldn't even hit half an hour. Hugh McDermott and Brenda Bruce are a young married couple away from each other for a few days and ending up in precarious situations with others: him in Paris sharing a hotel suite with Ingeborg von Kusserow, and her aboard a ship with Humphrey Lestocq.

Other than sudden kisses, nothing much happens outside of the fact that Kyuserow is grinning at McDermott's plight sleeping in the hotel bedroom while he stuck on an uncomfortable old couch. Bruce sings a few songs rather irritatingly, and there's a group of young French men performing a number, followed by a low energy Moulin Rouge type dance number. Herbert Lom plays a blackmailing butler with typical sinister coldness. Director John Guillerman would go into much better things after a few of these quickly rushed quota quickies.
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