Red Dwarf: Smeg Ups (1994 Video)

Robert Llewellyn: Kryten, Self

Quotes 

• Craig Charles : [in character as Lister]  What, luck is a virus?

  Robert Llewellyn : [in character as Kryten]  A positive virus which most human beings er...

  [forgets the rest of his line] 

  Robert Llewellyn : Contract, or something like that. Wibbly-wobbly-oobly-boobly-boo. Bibbly-bobbly-boo.

  Craig Charles : Well, you haven't got it then, have ya?

• Chris Barrie : [in character as Rimmer]  Across that valley lies an army of darkness such as mankind has never seen. The only thing that lies between them and total victory is this pathetic pocket of resistance. Without a plan, without a leader. And into this bleak arena steps a man, the man for the moment.

  Robert Llewellyn : [in character as Kryten]  Who?

  Chris Barrie : [his line is supposed to be "Me! Who do you think, Pat Boone?"]  Me! Pat - Oh,

  [swearword bleeped out] 

  Chris Barrie : Sorry.

  [Robert laughs] 

  Chris Barrie : I do lessons on how to blow gags.

• Robert Llewellyn : [in character as Kryten, picks up "Mister Lister"'s guitar]  Well, at least Mister Guitar...

  [laughter from the studio audience] 

  Robert Llewellyn : "Mister Guitar"!

  [stays in character, sings while pretending to strum the guitar] 

  Robert Llewellyn : "Oh, Mister Guitar, you're a sad little thing." You see, for me, everything's "Mister".

  [starts pointing at things] 

  Robert Llewellyn : Mister Flask. Mister Cat. Mister Microphone.

  [points to his groin] 

  Robert Llewellyn : Mister Rather Sad Nob.

• [Craig picks his nose and eats it] 

  Craig Charles : [points to his other nostril]  Saving this one til after. Got a bigger one here. That was the starter, this is the main course.

  Robert Llewellyn : What we don't want to know is where the sweets come from.

• Robert Llewellyn : [in Spare Head 3's Yorkshire accent]  I've just cacked me pants.