- Agent Wooly: We checked them all. We checked the monkey house, the reptile house, the giraffe house. We even checked the outhouse.
- Edgar Clenteen: Citadel 4 is the same system we use to safeguard our nuclear missile launch facilities. This guy took it apart like he was hot-wiring a Toyota.
- Edgar Clenteen: A wolf will starve itself to death rather than make a mistake. You have to lay down a scent that smells real from far away. And the bait has to be fresh and untouched by human hands. Make no mistake about it, we are hunting a wolf.
- Agent Boyle: [after overhearing sex talk featuring fruit] Okay, I think I'm gonna go to Starbucks and get a Mango Grande.
- Edgar Clenteen: We just gotta keep him clean for a few more days.
- Agent Wooly: How much money?
- Edgar Clenteen: Sixty-five hundred.
- Agent Wooly: Wouldn't it be cheaper to just send him to NYU?
- Julio: [Slamming Alvin against Ramundo's car] Your brother fucked us!
- Ramundo: What the fuck are you doing? This is my fucking car man! This is my baby.
- Julio: Sorry.
- [Slamming Alvin against the wall]
- Julio: Your brother fucked us!
- Ramundo: So, Stevie's fucking my girl right?
- Alvin: Well I think that's a point you're going to have to take with Stevie.
- Julio: Well maybe Stevie isn't around to make a...point with anyone.
- Ramundo: What the fuck are you saying?
- Julio: I'm saying that Stevie didn't show.
- Ramundo: Well just say it! Stop being so fucking complex!
- Julio: I'm not complex, you're complex!
- Alvin: Listen guys, do I have to be around for this?
- Julio, Ramundo: Shut up!
- [first lines]
- Supervisor: Gentlemen, we owe a quarterly. Vault 23, encryption download.
- Guard: Loaded.
- Supervisor: Level five. Sonic, please.
- Guard: Stable.
- Supervisor: Motion?
- Guard: Stable.
- Supervisor: Status check, please.
- Guard: All secure.
- Supervisor: Excellent. Carry on, gentlemen.
- Senator: Mr. Clenteen, exactly how many laws are we breaking here?
- Edgar Clenteen: You don't want to know.
- Edgar Clenteen: When he's served his purpose, when he draws our man out of the shadows, well, you know what happens to bait...
- Stevie Sanders: Alvin, you're an ex-con, man. You just got out the penitentiary. You got 26 dollars in your pocket, 25 of it is mine!
- Alvin: So I'm bouncing from toy to toy like I'm some sort of drunk dude. Mom's smiling. My father's smiling. It's all good, right? Then around 8:30, cops show up. Take the toys, take my father. But for about two and a half hours I had a very, very happy childhood.
- Stevie Sanders: [Alvin knocks on his sibling's apartment door] Who is it?
- Alvin: [intimates "White people" modulation] I hear you didn't pay your bill. I'm hear for your bills.
- Stevie Sanders: My mother ain't here right now, sir...
- Alvin: -Ah just like you people.
- Stevie Sanders: -Get your ass away from my door.
- Alvin: -Well come on out and...