- Hobson, the butler: I hope the mistress is in a good humor this morning.
- Maid: There's hardly a chance, she's always herself.
- Grandma: [enters] I heard that.
- Maid: Ah! Good morning.
- Hobson, the butler: You're looking fine this morning, madam.
- Grandma: Don't lie to me. I don't look fine and I don't feel fine. And as for the morning being good, it isn't over yet.
- Grandma: Say, what's all this fuss: flowers and candles and things?
- Maid: Why it's your birthday.
- Grandma: What, again?
- Maid: 65 years young today.
- Grandma: Ouch! Take them away. Take them away! Flowers and candles are only fit for weddings and funerals. Don't like weddings, and I'm not ready for the other... yet! I hope.
- Hobson, the butler: But the doctor says you've got to get well.
- Grandma: I'll do no such thing, I'll stay sick as long as I like. Give it to me.
- [chokes down her morning pill]
- Grandma: Now, bring on the food.
- Spanky: You know, lady, we could make this place look like someone's really living in it.
- Grandma: Oh, you could, could you?
- Spanky: Uh huh, what do you say?
- Grandma: Well, alright, but no loafing, you make a good job of it. Now you two get the lawn mower and mow the grass, hurry up. And you, go and water the flowers, hurry up. And you...
- Darla: I can pick flowers.
- Grandma: Oh you can, can you?
- Darla: Yes. I can pick you a nice, big, lovely bouquet.
- Grandma: Alright, you run along and do it then. And you, go and get me that chair.
- Boy: You didn't say please.
- Grandma: And why should I say please?
- Boy: Because my pop says that's polite.
- Grandma: And who may I ask, is your pop?
- Boy: He's a traffic cop.
- Grandma: Well... go and get the chair.
- Boy: Please?
- Grandma: Very well, please.
- Alfalfa: Here we are!
- Grandma: It's about time.
- Spanky: Now you're going to see some lawn cutting.
- Grandma: I hope so.
- Spanky: [they try to push the mower but it doesn't move] Looks like we're not doing so hot.
- Grandma: That's how it looks.
- [sees them struggle]
- Grandma: Just a minute.
- [stands up]
- Grandma: Now you're going to see some real lawn cutting. Give me a hand.
- [sees the boy looking at her]
- Grandma: Please.
- Boy: Thank you.
- Grandma: Don't mention it.
- Spanky: You know, Grandma, you're a pretty swell guy.
- Grandma: I'm nothing of the sort. I'm only doing this to keep you from ruining my lawn. Come on.
- [helps them run the mower across the yard]
- Grandma: What's this contraption?
- Spanky: It's for shooting.
- Alfalfa: Yeah, it's a slingshot!
- Grandma: How's it work?
- Spanky: Well see, take a marble.
- Grandma: Mm-hmm.
- Spanky: And you put it in here, see.
- Grandma: Mm-hmm.
- Spanky: Now, you pull this back. Here take this, pull it back.
- Grandma: Mm-hmm.
- Spanky: Stretch it, really far. Let go now.
- Grandma: OW!
- Spanky: You let go of the wrong end!
- Grandma: Yes, so I found out.
- Grandma: [breaks her pill bottle with the boys' slingshot, the butler picks them up] Oh, never mind about them.
- Hobson, the butler: Yes, but you'll get sick, madam.
- Spanky: Grandma, those pills are a lot of baloney.
- Alfalfa: You feel alright, don't you?
- Grandma: I never felt better in my life.
- Spanky: Well then get along without them.
- Hobson, the butler: But you've got to have your pills, madam.
- Grandma: You're dern right I have, bring me all my pills, bring me every pill in the house.
- Hobson, the butler: Every pill?
- Grandma: Scram!
- Grandma: The end of pills: blue pills, pink pills, green pills, I'm sick of the sight of pills. Are you ready?
- Spanky: Aye-aye, sir captain!
- Grandma: Good. What's it say on that bottle?
- Spanky: [drum roll] 'One blue pill every hour, DOCTOR JONES!'
- [hides under the table as Grandma breaks the bottle with his slingshot]
- Grandma: Let's get another one. Bang!
- [breaks another bottle]
- Alfalfa: Oh boy! Oh boy!
- Grandma: Boom!
- Alfalfa: Oh boy!
- Grandma: I'm becoming some shot, ain't I?
- Alfalfa: You're telling me!
- Grandma: Now here's a big one for the lot, go to it!
- Hobson, the butler: [on the phone while Grandma's breaking her pill bottles with a slingshot] No, no doctor, don't bring pills, bring chloroform!
- [she breaks the phone with the slingshot]
- Hobson, the butler: Good-bye!
- Grandma: Who let all that sunshine in here?
- Hobson, the butler: Sunshine is healthful, madam.
- Grandma: Pull down the shades.
- Maid: Yes, miss.
- Hobson, the butler: [brings all her bottles of pills] Here you are, madam.
- Grandma: Fine, I'll take these, you line the others up on that table.
- Hobson, the butler: But what does this mean, madam?
- Grandma: This means war!
- Hobson, the butler: War?
- Grandma: Revolution!
- Hobson, the butler: Your medicine, madam.
- Grandma: More pills?
- Hobson, the butler: But this is just a capsule, madam.
- Grandma: And what is a capsule but a pill disguised in cellophane?